Ya know, I’ve gone through my life trying to be conscientous, going out of my way to do things for other people, and trying to do the right thing. Sure, like everyone else, I’ve made a lot of mistakes, and really screwed some things up — but I always tried to avoid doing things out of malice and anger. Sometimes it could not be helped, and I picked myself up and carried on, made amends where they were possible, and really made an effort when I couldn’t.
When an altercation happens, I try not embarrass or demean people who I care about — or cared about — further by talking a whole bunch of bullshit to everyone and their brother that I’ll have to go back and apologize for later. Feelings get hurt too easily, and you embarrass yourself in the process if you’ve misrepresented the situation and had to go back on it.
It is for that reason, and that reason alone, that I tend to keep a lot of the “specifics” of situations to myself. And sure, I’ve screwed that up a few times, but all in all, I live my life simply, and with a clear conscience.
And when it so happens that someone knows me pretty well, they’re able to manipulate that part of my character in order to make others believe that I’m some sort of Monster. It takes a truly sick mind to use that sort of thing to say, “Oh, look, he’s not denying it! I told you it was true!”
And it takes a special sort of stupid to believe it, to blindly follow a tale which makes absolutely no sense, and is such a departure from the truth that it wouldn’t even be believable in a made-for-Lifetime-TV movie.
I am not a Monster. I have never done anything but try and help certain people, and nearly every time, it has turned out badly. Other times, I have simply done nothing, which for some people is the absolutely worst thing I could have possibly done.
But when someone wants to bitch and argue and start a whole bunch of crap, I usually tend to retreat and wait for it to blow over. And, apparently, this a bad thing, too.
I am probably going to start blogging about this crap, because it’s been a pain in my ass my entire life, and I’ve absolutely had it with the whole lot.
And let there be no confusion from any self-victimized ‘tards with delusions of grandeur that I’m “screwing” with them all the time when I’m not: I’m not talking about any bloggers, wives, girlfriends, friends, employees or anyone else except except one very specific specific group. I don’t care about that drama, because as hard of some of that stuff was to go through at the time, it doesn’t matter, it’s not my drama and I have no emotional attachment to it. When it’s over, I walk away, done.
No … I’m talking about Family.
Two extremely large families, actually, with a literal cast of thousands.
The ones that I share DNA with. Or don’t, considering some of the stories. *rolls eyes*
It’s time to set the record straight once and for all.
What started this?
For the last three weeks, several of them have called me asking for my help. They need my help and advice, or my expertise. Nevermind that I’ve helped them my entire life, and been nothing but shit on for it in the absolute worst ways.
They re-use their vicious lies. Things that everyone knew was a lie twenty years ago suddenly come back into play as evidence of the new improved lie. As a nasty little mob, they absolutely villify the object of their hatred with the most vile and disgusting slanders imaginable, never asking my side of the story and having no absolutely no regard for the verifiable truth of the situation.
And now, after a full year of giving me the silent treatment and stabbing me in the back with their vicious lies, they call me for my help, advice and expertise? Without so much as an apology?
Yeah, I’m pissed, and when I calm down, I might change my mind about blogging anything more specific. But right now, I have five instances in Draft where they’ve done some heinous crap, and a sixth which ties all five together into the biggest, steaming pile of poo I can think of — the kind of absolute bullshit that can ruin a person’s life.
And I’m going to excercise the self-control they never had and keep it to myself until I calm down.
But at the same time … this stuff’s been eating away at me for far too long. They’ve tried to instill their spiteful, vengeful, righteous hatred into me my entire life, and I’ve resisted. It’s taken a serious toll on me, both physically and mentally.
I wear my heart on my sleeve. Everyone around me can see when I get stressed and preoccupied — “Mark, what’s wrong?” and I’ve replied with “Ahhh, nothing….” or blown some stupid pet peeve out of proportion — and I’m honestly beggining to think that I’m losing the battle.
Maybe it’s time to really set it straight once and for all …
…. with names, with witnesses …
With Verifiable Proof…
And what will they do when that God they claim to follow won’t help them? Why should He keep them out of the mess they’ve made?
Or am I supposed to sit here and do the right thing again and ignore it until the next time, when it will undoubtedly be worse?
Mmhmm … Decisions, decisions.
Maybe I should flip a coin…
Maybe twice …
Best two outta three …
Hrm …
Yeah, this might take a friggin’ book…
And the funny thing is — I’ll be calm in an hour.
