I think it all boils to down to one thing: Lack of self-esteem.

     Sure, that’s something that everyone, if they’re honest, struggles with from time to time.  But man, I don’t know what it is about the Internet, in particular, that attracts so many people who have such dangerous issues with self-esteem that it creates such narcissism alongside it.

     “You don’t find me attractive? What the hell is wrong with you? I can get any man to sleep with me!”

     I’m totally used to seeing guys act like that, especially if they’re from Kentucky (*tongue firmly in cheek*).  But this has happened several times, and from some pretty damned gorgeous women, at that.  Women who should have had no hard luck finding someone to sleep with, so I mean, why fixate on me to begin with?

     All of them have had one thing in common: they never realized that they were attractive.

     They found fault in themselves where others wouldn’t, faults which were usually reinforced by their families, by the last asshole they were married to, or the idiot they just broke up with a few weeks ago… It’s sad.

     And as much as I’d love to be able to just label them, “Stupid bitch!” and go on, I don’t.  I know where it comes from.  I file them in the “CAUTION: Has Issues” file in my head, until they manage to graduate to a different file. Everybody has issues, but it’s the severity, and what we do them, that’s the make-or-break point.

     But I’ll tell ya one thing…  I’m more than a little sick of paying for the mistakes that every other man has made.  I shoot straight.  I don’t lead anyone on.  You know the deal beforehand.  Ruining friendships, relationships, or even families, by involving myself in little jealousy wars just isn’t my thing, ya know?
     I have my own convictions, and I stick to them.

     Take an honest look at yourself.  Identify your strong points, but don’t get arrogant.  And maybe, just maybe, you can be beautiful too.

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     Interestingly, if you look close enough, you can see a book called “Andy Warhol.”

     I’d only add the following disclaimer…

WARNING:  OBJECTS IN WEBCAM ARE
SMALLER THAN THEY APPEAR.

     Seriously, what the Hell is everyone bitching about?  I’ve seen more risque images on the Country Music Awards, for chrissakes, and nobody bitches about that… and she’s at least OF LEGAL AGE, unlike half the girls these friggin’ Internet pervs lust after (sick bastards should all be shot!).

     For further entertainment, check out her article about the whole sordid ordeal.

UPDATE 10/17/2009 @ 1:29AM US/EASTERN

     This just in from Fracas…

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mL_m81PNBXc)

     Although, the video would have been funnier if he’d glammed it up a bit and cried…

Tip: Kudos to Fracas for keeping me informed

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     I’ve been observing a lot lately, as well.  Watching the wildlife flirt and shoot each other down like crazy.  But it seems more and more like Women have the upper hand since I was in the dating crowd… In fact, they’re as bad as I remember guys acting back in the 80’s.
     So, for all you guys out there thinking about getting back into the dating scene, here’s a translation guide of the Top 10 things Men Hear that Women Say When Dating.

10. Man hears, “We Need to talk.” Woman means, “I’m gonna talk. You’re gonna shut the fuck up.”

09. Man hears, “I don’t want to have sex.” Woman means, “I don’t want to have sex WITH YOU.”

08. Man hears, “I don’t want to fight.” Woman means, “I’m gonna hurt you, so if your balls mean anything, they better stay more than an arm’s length away.”

07. Man hears, “No, I’m not mad.” Woman means, “In fact, I’m absolutely seething and I’m going probably going to go Lorraina Bobbit on your ass, so don’t fall asleep.”

06. Man hears, “I don’t want any drama!” Woman means, “I *am* the drama!”

05. Man hears, “I’m very family oriented.” Woman means, “I’d *like* to be family oriented, but I hate my family. Can I have yours?”

04. Man hears, “I’m STD free.” Woman means, “Except for the oral herpes, which you’ll find out about in three months.”

03. Man hears, “I’m bi-curious.” Woman means, “I’m gonna fuck a woman whether you’re there or not, because you are male, and therefore SHIT!”

02. Man hears, “Can we just sit down and have a civil conversation?” Woman means, “You sit there and be civil while I berate and call you an asshole, especially if you ask any questions trying to understand the crazy shit coming out of my mouth!”

01. Man hears, “I love you.” Woman means, “OMG, you turn me on…! Oh, god! Oh, god! Oh, god! Oh my god, that was fucking incredible! Now get out…”

     Tongue in cheek. Come on, you know some of them were funny.  Don’t hate me for my dry sense of humor.

     And do keep in mind … results may vary.

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     Saturday morning, I was supposed to get a call to help with the car, but didn’t.  At 11AM, I decided, “Screw it, I’ll find someone with tools to help!”  And while he got the bolts out of from behind the exhaust manifold — and directly under the intake manifold — to change the thermostat, I removed and replaced the water pump.
     After all that, I started onto the process of body work where I hit the deer back in June…
     Now, the car is fixed.  As long as I leave the air conditioning on… which means, there’s obviously a temperature sending unit bad, since it’s not turning on the second radiator fan.
     I also managed to scald both my hands in process, get various cuts, and break the top of my right hand — it now has something akin to half a golf ball atop it, just like two months ago. 
     Only one word comes to mind: F#&$.

     And so, last night, stir crazy and exhausted, yet unable to sleep (two and a half months now), I went to walk around downtown.  At Market Square, I sat and reminisced about the days of old when Preservation Pub was Mercury Theater.  I thought about the Snakesnatch Lounge and all the other places that were there twelve-plus years ago.
     I thought about celebrating Pirate Susan’s birthday there in 2006, when she stood atop one of the benches near the door of Preservation Pub, arms outstretched, yelling, “I am an asshole bleacher!”

     But even more, I thought about the day the Wildcat and I went to Preservation Pub… QSL later… and that night… and that kinda did it for my mood, because I miss her more every day.

     A drink would’ve been in order, but I had to quit that after a few too many bad nights…

     Then I learned that last night, a friend of mine was sexually assaulted in her home by a “friend” of hers who she actually knew very little about.  Packed her kids in the car, drove them to a mutual friend to be watched and took her to the ER.  I prepped her a little beforehand about what was going to happen, having been through this with other friends I’ve known, and just pretty much tried to be there for her so she didn’t feel totally alone.
     Fortunately, the KPD investigator was really good, as was the crisis unit who performed her exams and tests.  They were pretty unbeatable, and I was out of the room most of the time — I didn’t need to be there the whole time, anyway, because it just makes me wanna kill someone that much more.

     She’s really young … and all I could think about the whole time was how bad I missed the Wildcat, how bad I missed the kids, how much they meant to me, and what I’d do to someone who tried something like that with any of them.

     Finally discharged, I took her to get some food after her battery of medication, fill another prescription and back to her place, where I stayed until her sister could get there.  I can handle the “crisis” portion calmly and capably, but for the rest… she’s gonna have a long road ahead.

     Sometimes, life is hard.

     And sometimes, other peoples’ are even harder.

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     She pops up from over two years ago to say, “Hey, I’m sorry about what happened two years ago.”  Offers that the Wildcat and I can stay at her place since she has an unused upstairs with a couple bedrooms — a bargain at $200 a month.  I declined of course, because the place is pretty far away and, well, the bottom line is, I just don’t trust her.  I don’t know her, and after the way she acted two years, giving me an apology over Yahoo Instant Messenger really didn’t seem very genuine, anyway. 

     I fixed her computer via remote a couple of times.  She’d check in to see if I was okay, coping ok.  Left the Wildcat a couple of messages telling her how happy she was that we’d found one another.  Said we deserved that.

     But, much like she did two years ago, she falls into the “woman scorned” category because she decides, over Yahoo Instant Messenger, that she wants something a whole Helluva lot more than friendship.
     And somehow, I’m a jerk, having said, “No.  As you fully well know, I am taken, and you have no right to try and interfere in that.  I really don’t appreciate that.  I’m just not wired that way.”
     After that,  she had quite a few choice words…

     Something the Wildcat said a few months ago suddenly came back into my head, because she was right.  If I’m in a solid relationship with someone I truly care about, or even if I consider that I’m friends with someone, I am a little oblivious when they’re hitting on me until it gets pretty brazenly extreme. 

     This particular nutjob got extremely brazen. 

     So, I deleted and blocked her every way I knew how … including telephone.  Since I haven’t even laid eyes on her in two years, and she was so psycho then, why the Hell did I even trust her to begin with?

     Sometimes, I’m too forgiving.

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