Weekend from Hell

August 24th, 2008 at 10:01 pm by Mark Steel
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     Thursday night, my car all but died.  Friday morning, I was supposed to have a fix, but didn’t.  Friday afternoon, I was supposed to get picked up, but wasn’t.  Friday night, I was so stir crazy I couldn’t stand it. 

     Saturday morning, I was supposed to get a call to help with the car, but didn’t.  At 11AM, I decided, “Screw it, I’ll find someone with tools to help!”  And while he got the bolts out of from behind the exhaust manifold — and directly under the intake manifold — to change the thermostat, I removed and replaced the water pump.
     After all that, I started onto the process of body work where I hit the deer back in June…
     Now, the car is fixed.  As long as I leave the air conditioning on… which means, there’s obviously a temperature sending unit bad, since it’s not turning on the second radiator fan.
     I also managed to scald both my hands in process, get various cuts, and break the top of my right hand — it now has something akin to half a golf ball atop it, just like two months ago. 
     Only one word comes to mind: F#&$.

     And so, last night, stir crazy and exhausted, yet unable to sleep (two and a half months now), I went to walk around downtown.  At Market Square, I sat and reminisced about the days of old when Preservation Pub was Mercury Theater.  I thought about the Snakesnatch Lounge and all the other places that were there twelve-plus years ago.
     I thought about celebrating Pirate Susan’s birthday there in 2006, when she stood atop one of the benches near the door of Preservation Pub, arms outstretched, yelling, “I am an asshole bleacher!”

     But even more, I thought about the day the Wildcat and I went to Preservation Pub… QSL later… and that night… and that kinda did it for my mood, because I miss her more every day.

     A drink would’ve been in order, but I had to quit that after a few too many bad nights…

     Then I learned that last night, a friend of mine was sexually assaulted in her home by a “friend” of hers who she actually knew very little about.  Packed her kids in the car, drove them to a mutual friend to be watched and took her to the ER.  I prepped her a little beforehand about what was going to happen, having been through this with other friends I’ve known, and just pretty much tried to be there for her so she didn’t feel totally alone.
     Fortunately, the KPD investigator was really good, as was the crisis unit who performed her exams and tests.  They were pretty unbeatable, and I was out of the room most of the time — I didn’t need to be there the whole time, anyway, because it just makes me wanna kill someone that much more.

     She’s really young … and all I could think about the whole time was how bad I missed the Wildcat, how bad I missed the kids, how much they meant to me, and what I’d do to someone who tried something like that with any of them.

     Finally discharged, I took her to get some food after her battery of medication, fill another prescription and back to her place, where I stayed until her sister could get there.  I can handle the “crisis” portion calmly and capably, but for the rest… she’s gonna have a long road ahead.

     Sometimes, life is hard.

     And sometimes, other peoples’ are even harder.

Flakes and Nutjobs, Scene Two

August 13th, 2008 at 3:14 am by Mark Steel
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     [ This was a draft from July 28th that I should've posted. ]

     She pops up from over two years ago to say, “Hey, I’m sorry about what happened two years ago.”  Offers that the Wildcat and I can stay at her place since she has an unused upstairs with a couple bedrooms — a bargain at $200 a month.  I declined of course, because the place is pretty far away and, well, the bottom line is, I just don’t trust her.  I don’t know her, and after the way she acted two years, giving me an apology over Yahoo Instant Messenger really didn’t seem very genuine, anyway. 

     I fixed her computer via remote a couple of times.  She’d check in to see if I was okay, coping ok.  Left the Wildcat a couple of messages telling her how happy she was that we’d found one another.  Said we deserved that.

     But, much like she did two years ago, she falls into the “woman scorned” category because she decides, over Yahoo Instant Messenger, that she wants something a whole Helluva lot more than friendship.
     And somehow, I’m a jerk, having said, “No.  As you fully well know, I am taken, and you have no right to try and interfere in that.  I really don’t appreciate that.  I’m just not wired that way.”
     After that,  she had quite a few choice words…

     Something the Wildcat said a few months ago suddenly came back into my head, because she was right.  If I’m in a solid relationship with someone I truly care about, or even if I consider that I’m friends with someone, I am a little oblivious when they’re hitting on me until it gets pretty brazenly extreme. 

     This particular nutjob got extremely brazen

     So, I deleted and blocked her every way I knew how … including telephone.  Since I haven’t even laid eyes on her in two years, and she was so psycho then, why the Hell did I even trust her to begin with?

     Sometimes, I’m too forgiving.

Asshats of the Day: Janna E. Napier and Connie Hubbard

June 24th, 2008 at 12:02 pm by Mark Steel
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     On April 11th, the Wildcat and I decided to move into a single-wide trailer out in the middle of nowhere.  On the 12th, the landlord, Janna Napier gave us a sob story about how she’s lost her job, the bank had frozen her assetts, her vehicle had been repossessed, and the only thing she had was this trailer.  She wanted us to take over the payments, and we agreed.
     She said she’d be out by Monday the 14th.  On Wednesday the 16th, she still didn’t have her things out.  I went over, and helped her carry the rest of out.  She left a ton of garbage, both in bags and in the floor.
     The Wildcat was sick, so it took us a couple of extra days, and finally moved in on the 19th.  It was filthy.  There was water all over the kitchen and laundry room.  Janna had said she spilled baby water over there, but even after cleaning it up, there it was.  The fridge and appliances were covered in goo inside and out.  The place had never been vaccumed or mopped.  Toilets never cleaned.
     “I’m sorry about the mess,” she said.  “But I’ve been living with my boyfriend for the last year.”

     On the 20th, the Wildcat was lying in bed while her daughter and I continued to try and clean and rearrange things.  Here came our landlord, silent, not saying award, on the verge of tears.  She just stood there in the middle of the place, looking like she was going break down.
     “Are you okay?” I asked her.
     She shook her head.  A long, uncomfortable silence passed.
     “I’m broke,” she said.  “I can’t pay the electricity bill, and I haven’t paid the mortgage for April.” 
     I gave her $320.  I took the $183 Electricity bill and paid it online later that weekend. 
     “But it’s due again on the 1st.”
     “I can’t afford that until I get paid,” I told her.
     She whimpered away.
     When I caught her sister outside later, I asked, “Is Janna okay?”
     “Yeah, she’s like that when she misses her meds.  She’s just… well… just Janna!”

     And so, on the 26th, I found her behind her sister’s house, and in sight of her sister, I paid for May.

     On May 6th, the air conditioning went out.  I called her cell phone repeatedly to ask her about it.  She wouldn’t return my calls.
     Eventually, I went to her mother, Connie Hubbard, who worked in the Administration office at the Hospital.  I told her the situation.  Janna had apparently called her and told her about it.  Connie assured me that someone who be there to look at it.
     “Here’s our numbers,” I said as I gave them to her.  “I work all day and she’s working nights.  We need to schedule it.”

     Nothing happened.  Weeks past. 

     I called Janna on May 17th.  “Janna, it’s been almost two weeks.  What’s going on?”
     “What do you want me to do about it?” she said.
     “Excuse me?”
     She hung up on me.

     I got another Electricity bill, in the meantime, up to April 20th, for $48.  I paid it, too.

     I was pissed.  I vented about that situation to a few people, including some of her family.

     “Withhold her rent,” they said.  “I would!  There’s no sense in that!”

     I went home to find AC water all over the hallway.  I spent hours cleaning it up, and found that the overflow had been completely blocked because in all the time Janna had supposedly lived there, she never changed a filter.  It took hours cleaning up the AC condensors and unplugging the overflow drain.  But it was all no avail … the blower motor control unit was damaged after years of her neglect of the furnace.  The water had shorted it.

     On May 23rd, Janna showed up and brought me the mortgage payment book … which was actually an 8.5×11 sheet of paper with four check-looking things on it. 
     “We need out air conditioning fixed, Janna.”
     “Ok, he’ll be out here tonight or tomorrow.”

     On May 26th, I called her and left her a message that I would not be paying rent until she fixed the AC.  Plain and simple.

     No one came.

     No one called.

     Now, as we’re moving out, Janna is trying to claim that we never paid her rent.  That we are two months behind.  That we’ve destroyed her home by smoking and having pets that she didn’t agree to.  Horseshit.

     Problem is, I paid full price for partial month in April at $320.  I paid full price for May at $320.  I paid $241 (or thereabouts - I’m trying to remember off the top of my head) for her past-due Electricity bill.  I helped her carry her things out because she just couldn’t do it by herself (she whined).  We spent five days cleaning up her filth to the tune of NINE garbage bags full of garbage she’d left about the place.  I spent four hours making sure the AC didn’t leak all over the kitchen, utility and hall floors again.  I attempted to fix the blower motor, but it appears that the relay is bad from having water dumped on it for all those years.

     I called Janna and explained why I don’t owe her, and she hung up on me.  I called back and detailed everything, twice, to her voicemail.

     Next, her mother, Connie Hubbard, called me to rip me a new asshole.  She was rude and demeaning, and called me a liar the entire conversation.
     “Do you have receipts?  Then you didn’t pay it!”
     After repeatedly attempting to defend what I was saying, eventually, I gave up.
     “I am sick to death of you people from that town calling down here to wind me up when I haven’t done anything and you can fuck yourself, you cunt!”

     And she’s threatening to sue the Wildcat and I — claiming that we lived there four months, when reality and simple math show that we lived there two months, and it’s taking us a couple more days to move out.  It’s hard to do in that kind of heat with no AC.
     And Connie Hubbard called last week and said, “Don’t worry about the two holes.  Janna’s letting that trailer go back anyway.”  Yet, this week, everybody’s calling and cussing me out and degrading me and calling me a liar telling me I have to fix the holes.
     Mr Alan Osborne, benefactor of Ms. Napier, is seriously bitching the holes in the wall — and telling me the place was pristine when we moved in.  Clearly, he never saw it.  He’s going to get an estimate and sue me for the damage when he could just as easily pick up a patch kit and Clayton for $30 and have it installed in about forty-five minutes — and even match the crappy wallpaper.

     What they are doing is clearly against the Landlord/Tenant Act.  And again, friend of a frend, I trust too damn much.  I am allowed, by law, to withhold rent when they’re not fixing anything.  I’m also allowed to say, “It cost this much to keep the water from dripping and ruining the floor worse.”  Wonder what my four hours is worth?

     For a woman who may have never lived in the house, she sure managed to mess it up.  Instead, she lives with a guy who takes care of her and her daughter.  Now she’s claiming that we’ve destroyed HER house (where she hasn’t lived in over a year), and that she can’t afford to feed her child.  What?
     There was some MINOR damage (two holes in a 1×1 foot hold in the dry wall in the living room), however, that’s a $60 repair any way you look at it.  Caused by extreme frustration.  You try living in a trailer for a month with no air conditioning, you’d prolly get frustrated, too.

     But I am sick to death of these nonconfrontational assholes now turning tails and kicking the Wildcat when she’s down.  That is beyond reprehensible.  And I will not allow that situation to continue when we’ve done nothing wrong to any of those useless bastards!

     And so, Janna E. Napier and Connie Hubband get the Asshat of the Day award.

     Two women who seriously Can’t Understand Normal Thinking.  Janna’s money problems are not my problem.  The fact that she’s lost everthing she had?  Not my problem.  I didn’t sign up to be a benefactor for someone who’s obviously so bad with money that she can’t buy her own child food to eat. 
     I believe that’s what Welfare and Family are for, dear.  Except that it’d be a lie considering you’ve been being supported by one Alan Osborne for a over a year, now, wouldn’t it?

     So you want publicity, ladies, there it is.  You wanna lie about my character, I’ll tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth about yours.

Happy Birthday to my Wildcat!

May 15th, 2008 at 10:33 am by Mark Steel
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     It’s the Wildcat’s birthday today.  Like many women, she worries about her age.  Looking at her, I still can’t figure out why she’s worried about that at all.  Nobody believes her when they find out.  I end up looking younger for standing beside her.

Younger Every Day

     The more she smiles and laughs, the younger she looks.  Seriously, at the rate she’s going, she’ll look like a teenager at 80.

     She’s an amazing woman who’s accomplished a lot in the face of adversity, and yet, she’s so humble.  She managed to raise three kids on her own, went back to school and worked towards a career in healthcare.  Oh, and she’s not stopping there!  She’s got hardcore potential, and proves over and over again that she can do anything that she sets her mind to.
     On top of it, she’s a hottie — getting hit on by men from eighteen to eighty — and doesn’t even realize it.  She has the most gorgeous eyes ever.  She can melt me in an instant with a gaze that makes me feel like I’m the only person in the world.
     “God, you’re beautiful!”
     “No, I’m not…” she replies meekly, her cheeks flushing to a pale pink.

     Truly, she has plenty to be proud of.  

     Me, I’m just proud to call her mine.

     Happy Birthday, sweetie. 

     May we have many more.  *smooch!*

Monday Melee from Zacque

February 27th, 2008 at 11:36 pm by Zacque Hitchcock
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Monday MeleeTo find out how you too, can participate in The Monday Melee, please read the main Monday Melee page, grab The Monday Melee logo (and view the participant list too).

A step is a stumble forward prevented from becoming a fall by taking another step.

–Bart Green

1. The Magnificent: Name someone you absolutely adore, and tell us why.

     Well she knows who she is. (Sorry guys, this week you’re outta luck.)

2. The Muddy: Tell us something about life you just don’t “get”.

     Political B.S., Martha Stewart, Attorney’s fees, Bad drivers, Kentucky basketball, Tossed Salad, Unhappy campers, Boring girls, Intriguing girls, and Other people.

3. The Magnetic: Name something or someone good (or bad) you’re drawn to and you just can’t help it. Tell us if you want to change this or not.

     Money, I need it. It wants me to spend it. I can’t change that.

4. The Mainstay: Who or what is something you just can’t live without? Why?

     Love. It only takes one to light the whole world on fire.

5. The Masquerade: Tell us something about yourself we wouldn’t already know.

     I feel needed.

6. The Mettle: Tell us about a time you showed courage in yourself, or tell us what you wish you had the courage to do.

     I wish i could actually make a success of my business endeavors. It is an on going struggle but I may make it to move into something else.

Now it’s your turn.

You can take part in The Monday Melee, even make it a regular feature at your site by visiting The Monday Melee page and following the steps. Kick-start your brain on Mondays and meet other bloggers.

1. Fracas - creator of The Monday Melee | 2. Kate | 3. Rootietoot | 4. Dive | 5. Robyn | 6. Dear Prudence | 7. Lynn | 8. Iced Mocha | 9. Joey | 10. JerseyChick | 11. Tracey | 12. Vic | 13. Gaijin Girl | 14. LindaC | 15. Amber | 16. Krishanna | 17. Ma Titwonky | 18. sauer kraut | 19. kimberleyanne | 20. Ealasaid | 21. Cat | 22. lucy lemon | 23. hazel8500 | 24. Miz Minka’s Musings | 25. Gabrielle | 26. buttercup | 27. Marianne | 28. j u g g l i n g c a t s | 29. Sky Windows | 30. Vyxyn | 31. Mark - Blogitude | 32. Tendrils’ Ink | 33. Now Write, Right Now | 34. flowerchild | 35. ladycalliah | 36. Creation Junction | 37. A Blog of 2 Witches | 38. Meowminx | 39. The College Critic | 40. Winged Musings | 41. Missy Sue Hanson | 42. The Kat House | 43. Holocaust Labs | 44. no school, just learning | 45. Carrying Contraption | 46. Let Them Eat Cake | 47. Zacque - Blogitude | 48. Diva - Blogitude | 49. Modified at Random | 50. Jewel - Blogitude | 51. Get AMPed | 52. INDIEchouette | 53. Perky’s Perspective | 54. The Jaded Lotus | 55. Maiylah’s Snippets | 56. The Painted Veil | 57. Incurable Insomniac | 58. DivaThoughts | 59. Twenty Something And A Little Nutty | 60. PajamaMom | 61. Livin’ Life SandyStyl | 62. So This Is Growing Up |63. GirlieGeek | 64. Diary of a 70s Teen

Flirting 104: Moving to Dating: The Ten Point Cheat Sheet

February 2nd, 2008 at 8:19 pm by Zacque Hitchcock
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It has come to my attention by way of massive amounts of subversive hinting — and some hints that were blatant — that I should share some knowledge in this area.  Mind you, this advice is only aimed at a choice few to include 90 percent of the clueless dating population: men or boys as the case may be from the ages of 18-65; Women from the ages of 18-50; and anyone else who just can’t seem to get their luck up.  (On the off chance, you go to church on a regular basis; the previous statement should be “laid” instead of luck.)

Rule number 1:  Remember to reference the dating blogs. Pay special attention to Flirting 101, Flirting 102, and Flirting 103.  If you are like me, do a search for dating through that lovely search bar in the right corner of the screen.  The ones that reference dating in a more depressing light are there for a reason, too.  After all, “a step is a stumble forward, prevented from becoming a fall by taking another step” –Barton Green.

2.  Listen to your best friends.  Deep down, whether you choose to see it or not, they really do have your best interests at heart.

3.  Listen to your best friends.  They can also be a viable judge of character when your judgment clouds. Therefore, this point gets two spots instead of one.

4.  Pay yourself first; never jump in to a relationship where you cannot gain something.  However, with that said you should always be willing to give in order to receive.

5.  Cleanliness is next to Godliness.  Without roots there can be no foundation, if you are trying to sell yourself to someone else you must present your best self.

6.  Treat anyone and everyone with respect.  If you do not respect the person or persons you are trying to court, how can you expect them to treat you any different?

7.  Be patient.  If you are just like your horoscope tells you to be, good things happen to those who wait. 

8.  Don’t be afraid to make the first move.  Other people do not know what you are thinking; they are not mind readers.  For the same reason, do not take it too far.  If you ask for dinner, pay for it and have dinner.  More can, and most likely will, come later. ;-)

9.  Talk and speak your mind.  If you just get down to business, it is nothing but a one-night stand.  You have to figure out who the other person is and whether or not you are compatible (i.e.: can you live with one another in your lives?).

10.  Keep business and pleasure as simply that.  Then, if one or the other goes awry, you still have some sort of relationship you can salvage.

With this advice, you are now ready to embark back into the dating society of intellectual beings, no matter what their leanings may be in either the bedroom or the political arena.  As there will be further additions to this post, do not forget to keep posted.

God bless, good night, and good luck.

Another Catty Bitch

January 8th, 2008 at 2:57 pm by Diva Howe
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I make my rounds down  at Blogger’s Landing on a daily basis. 

Here you’ll find all kinds of people.  You find folks who rant and rave, folks who have public service announcements, folks reflecting on life… you name it you’ll find it.  

I recently saw something that has been bugging the piss out of me.  I’m not going to make a daily stop at a particular page anymore because it is a major buzz kill to my joy and happiness factor.  And God knows, I don’t need anybody kicking me out of joy and happiness.  I won’t name any names, that wouldn’t be right.

This is just a public service announcement so that folks will realize that a blog that is used as a platform for a non-stop personal vendetta is extremely boring.

I’m not the victim of the below bunch of bullshit.  I’m not even sure I know who the victim of this blogger is, but I know for a long, long time this has been going on and frankly I’m bored as a monkey with no fucking trees to swing from with it all.  I don’t think I’ll be passing by her blog for tea and crumpets again because her style of writing makes me sad.

It’s a mean nasty person who is constantly stirring up crap with an people by constantly picking old wounds to keep them open.

I totally understand the occassional happening with an ex and it being something interesting or even just something a sister needs to vent about. Or a past ghost comes up and bites a brother in the ass…. makes for interesting reading and is perfectly acceptable. 

But, when someone makes it part of their daily routine to check up on and often write crap about someone, it’s sad.  These kind of people need to get a life.  A real life, not fantasy world. 

Whether whatever happened was right or wrong on either side, enough is enough.  The slamming of another person and constant degradation is boring to say the least.  I don’t think the person I’m referring to bothers to check my shit out, but if they do, I hope they are not infatuated enough with themselves not to realize this is a wake up call.  Knock it off. 

Get a fucking life, or not.  I don’t care either way. I’m a big girl and I can just stay away from your blogs.

Refreshed, Rejuvenated, Renewed

November 5th, 2007 at 12:26 pm by Diva Howe
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I’m working on finding my sarcasm again after losing it somewhere between the altar and Germany.  In hindsight, I don’t actually think I ever lost it.  I think somehow it got kicked in the corner, or under my dresser with the dust-bunnies when I started having girl problems.  Nothing like some girl issues to jack one’s system completely up.  None-the-less, I started to feel my sassy self coming back to life.

Do Orangutans Have A Penis Bone??

October 18th, 2007 at 3:36 pm by Diva Howe
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Yah.  I’m back home and totally enjoying the comforts of my OG and my happy little office.  It’s always nice to get to travel far and wide, but even nicer to come home… especially since I had only been married a scant week when I had to leave on that jetplane.  But that’s another story all together ain’t it?

So, OG and I have been known to have some pretty interesting conversations in the last 7 years that we have worked together.  No holds barred.  Really.  We talk about anything and everything.  Which brings me to what we are talking about here.

At lunch, we generally find some kind of magazine full of gossip or short, yet hilarious ditties.  The conversation turned interesting when I found a short article about an ape who doesn’t dig girl apes….  Read this… you’ll love it.

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - Sibu the Orangutan has miffed his Dutch keepers by refusing to mate with females and showing sexual interest only in tattooed human blondes.

Apenheul Primate Park hoped Sibu would become its breeding male when he arrived two years ago, but orangutans aren’t his type.

“He chases them, or ignores them, but he doesn’t do what he should do,” said a spokeswoman for the park.

Instead, Sibu fancies his female keepers, especially blondes. That, the spokeswoman said, was common for orangutans but Sibu has a fetish for tattoos, harking back to a heavily tattooed keeper who reared him.

“Orangutans have special interests in special subjects. Sibu happens to like tattoos,” she said.

So, this brought up the question of whether orangutans have a penis bone like most other mammals or if their penis gets hard like a human penis does.  Yah, I know what you must be thinking…  perfectly acceptable, lady-like lunchtime conversation.  So, we finished up our lunch and google’d it, as we google every sick and twisted thing we can think of.  And we found out that an orangutan does, in fact, have a penis bone.

OG has decided that I, being the blonde and tattoo’d chippie that I am, should stay the hell out of Amsterdam.

Just thought I’d share that tid-bit with you kids.  Cheers!

(Article Copyright 2007 Reuters)

Bad Day to Own a Penis, Pal.

September 21st, 2007 at 11:32 am by Diva Howe
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So, today marks the day of an ever so joyous event.  Diva’s bachelorette party!!!  Yay!

Well, our beloved Mark is sitting back, and sniveling, because he has a penis, not a vagina.

No penises at Diva’s bachelorette party.  Only people who are proud owners of a vagina are allowed as we will be greatly misbehaved and no males are allowed to be there to witness such naughty things as will be going on tonight. 

In addition to lotsa drinkin, games on tap include:

Pin the bow-tie on the bachelor, Do or dare cards (which promises to be loads of fun since Robyn will do almost anything if dared), and a naughty scavenger hunt.

Details and photographic evidence to follow.