Moonbats and Asshats were certainly rife on Super Tuesday. 

     For weeks to come, we’ll keep hearing political commentary from people who have about as much grasp on politics as Pope does on WWII History. 
     *cough*

     As I was voting with a change of Address and voting venue, I was at the polls for quite a while watching and listening to people.  It’s an adamantly blue-collar, pro-union district, so naturally there are a lot of blue voters, especially of the “Damn Yankee!” variety — the type who get “Damn” attached to the beginning of their titles because they won’t go home.  *snicker*
     So I began to take notes of some of the conversations I overheard while waiting…

“What do you mean Democrat or Republican?  How should I know?  I wanna vote for Obama.  Is he a Republican or a Democrat?”

     Words cannot begin to describe my disdain for this particular style of voting.  As surely as there’s lonely brain cell left to rattle around in a nearly empty skull, you should know something so basic about the person you’re giving your support to run the country.

“Oh, god, you know I’m a Democrat.  Republicans are stupid.  Hey, do I have to sign my name here where it says?”

     I thought to myself, “No, just put an X, dipshit.”

“The only reason you won’t support Cinton is because you’re a man!  I am sick to death of all the latent misogyny by the patriarchal anti-Clinton camp!”

     No, apparently she wasn’t quite “sick to death,” as I could still hear her.  It’s funny to me how it never occurrs to some people that it’s Hillary-bashing, not Woman-bashing.  Which brings me to next part:

“You won’t vote for Obama ’cause you’re a racist!”

     Umm … Ok.  Of course, the same guy came out and said:

“Man, I voted for Hillary.”

     *shakes head*  So, uhh… He’s a racist?  And proud of it?

     Which brings up another:

“I scrolled to Obama and hit Cast Ballot.  And the screen came up and said ‘Thank you for your vote.’  I think I messed up.  Can I do it again?  No?  Man, you all are racist!”

     Ya know… I just… How the… Why… *shakes head*

     On a similar note:

“Uh, it says to press the Enter button.  Is that the big green one that says Enter?”

     I thought about saying, “Nah, it’s the big red one that says, ‘Cast Ballot,’” but since the last guy who made that mistake nearly went postal, I decided to just stand there and shake my head a while longer…

     Finally, with my Failsafe paperwork approved, I was able to rejoin the line and make my way up to the registry official.
     “Democrat or Republican?” the official asked the guy in front of me.
     “Republican,” he whispered as quietly as possible.
     “REPUBLICAN?” the official yelled.
     “Uh, yeah, yeah,” he whispered, glancing nervously towards the jeers from around him.
     He signed his name.  He walked, with an, “Excuse me,” through the crowd and over to the Voting Booths.  He cast his vote.  He walked out.

     When it was my turn, I did the same.

     But I still wonder where all the animosity comes from.

     If having different opinions is so bad, then why bother voting at all?

It obvious to me that a bunch of trained monkeys devised the way we vote.  There is a certain about of space you must be away from the polling place to complain, compare, or contrast what exactly you are voting on.  You must be said distance away from the other constituent while they cast their ballots.  Last, but not least, you must stand in this bread line to vote for the asshole that you didn’t want to see in office anyway.  After all, your candidate didn’t have the staying power to go all the way.  He came, he went, and subsequently went to sleep, just like the dyke’s idea of a stereotypical man (which includes Hitlery, since you know with socialist ideas like that she has to be hung like a moose.)

By this same rationale the voting process is no better that the crappy politicians we flock to elect every chance we get.  Simply put we desire the change they promise.  Meanwhile they will never own up to the fact that they can’t change everything we would like.  Surely, we may be able to try and elect at the very least someone who won’t screw the country up too bad or try to appear electable for monetary gain.

With that said, I am starting to wonder if I should have just let go of my civic duty and stayed home, but I digress.

(Where Bright Red = “Oh, HELL no!” and Bright Green = “For shizzle”)

     Note there are no bright greens. 

     ’nuff said.

Note: Adapted from MSNBC’s Candidates vs. Issues Matrix

No, sorry, it’s not the wonderful monthly rush of gore and blood. Which is carefully infused through an almost cancerous cavern of what once was love, but it’s close.

Welcome to the world of complete insanity.  It’s almost time for the Presidential Election again.

Can you hear the mindless abundance of worthless propaganda trying to convince you to vote for one schmuck or another?

The Presidency is the highest public office in this country.  With that in mind why are: Hillary Clinton, Borat O’Bama, err… sorry Barack Hussien Obama, John McCain, Fred Thompson, and so many others trying to attain this honor?

With the exception of greed, I don’t think any of them have the mindset to put our country first.  Where is a candidate who will put the country above his or her own personal desires? 

This is derived from a breakdown in overall morality and common decency.  Simply stated “To much @#$%!!! compromise!”  Poor decisions compounded upon one another to spread the radical ideas of one zealot.  One idiot after another who tries to taint the soup so much it sours while cooking.  The current President may not have been the greatest, but I’d put money on the fact he’d do better than any of his competition.  Not like we could give them a chance anyhow, nor would we want to. 

With this in mind on this Election Day, I will stay home.  At least when I am done posturing myself about I will have something to show for it.

In honor of the weeks to come I would like to offer a throwback to the days of yore, a visit to a political party that makes sense.  Well, okay, at least the didn’t go back on their promises.  The party I am talking about you ask?  Why its only the two term Pail and Shovel Party hailing from Madison, Wisconsin.

This party single handedly did away with the bickering of the Student Government about how much funding each group got by converting the entire budget into pennies.  They also brought Lady Liberty to Lake Mendota. 

So in the upcoming elections I would be on the look out for someone who at least comes through on their promises… I give my vote to Pail and Shovel.

     From several sources, I heard about some educators giving extra credit for students who went out and voted.  I cannot understand why anyone would be so shallow, especially given their position as educators.  To me, it makes a farce of the entire process.
     The fact that we can vote, that we can have our say in electing our government, is one of our core Freedoms in this country.
     Regardless of the outcome of an election, voting is the reward!

     Another thing that’s getting on my nerves are these people who can go on and on about how things are being done, how things are running, how they could do better.
     “And did you vote?” I’d ask.
     “No…”
     “Then shut the Hell up.  Voting is what ensures our right to representation, so you gave up your right to complain when you didn’t take five minutes to go cast your ballot.”

     I’ve never been one for party politics, always voting for individual candidates and their stances on issues rather than taking a party-stance and voting down one side or the other.  But this go-round, the choice was clear.  One side had issues and resolutions, and the other side had nothing to do but bitch and complain.
     It was too fitting, as I left the polling area, to hear the “Emperor’s March” theme from Star Wars, and the voice of Vader saying, “Your journey to the Dark Side is now complete!”

     I was definitely relieved when I finally saw that the guy next to me was carrying a portable DVD player…