Yah.  I’m back home and totally enjoying the comforts of my OG and my happy little office.  It’s always nice to get to travel far and wide, but even nicer to come home… especially since I had only been married a scant week when I had to leave on that jetplane.  But that’s another story all together ain’t it?

So, OG and I have been known to have some pretty interesting conversations in the last 7 years that we have worked together.  No holds barred.  Really.  We talk about anything and everything.  Which brings me to what we are talking about here.

At lunch, we generally find some kind of magazine full of gossip or short, yet hilarious ditties.  The conversation turned interesting when I found a short article about an ape who doesn’t dig girl apes….  Read this… you’ll love it.

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - Sibu the Orangutan has miffed his Dutch keepers by refusing to mate with females and showing sexual interest only in tattooed human blondes.

Apenheul Primate Park hoped Sibu would become its breeding male when he arrived two years ago, but orangutans aren’t his type.

“He chases them, or ignores them, but he doesn’t do what he should do,” said a spokeswoman for the park.

Instead, Sibu fancies his female keepers, especially blondes. That, the spokeswoman said, was common for orangutans but Sibu has a fetish for tattoos, harking back to a heavily tattooed keeper who reared him.

“Orangutans have special interests in special subjects. Sibu happens to like tattoos,” she said.

So, this brought up the question of whether orangutans have a penis bone like most other mammals or if their penis gets hard like a human penis does.  Yah, I know what you must be thinking…  perfectly acceptable, lady-like lunchtime conversation.  So, we finished up our lunch and google’d it, as we google every sick and twisted thing we can think of.  And we found out that an orangutan does, in fact, have a penis bone.

OG has decided that I, being the blonde and tattoo’d chippie that I am, should stay the hell out of Amsterdam.

Just thought I’d share that tid-bit with you kids.  Cheers!

(Article Copyright 2007 Reuters)

Everybody who knows me personally knows I am not shy, I am not quiet. I am not backward when it comes to expressing emotion. In other words, I am the complete opposite of my Anthony.

Anthony is shy and quiet. He would rather sit quietly somewhere and observe what’s going on instead of being what’s going on. Opposites truly do attract. Our tastes and personalities couldn’t be more different.

I like top 40, rock, southern rock… He is a bluegrass musician.

I like karaoke bars…. He’d rather be somewhere listening to a live band.

I like sushi & other exotic foods…He’d rather have Burger King or Taco Bell.

I drive like my pants are on fire… He takes his time a & enjoys the scenery.

The differences are many, but the love is the same.

Anyhoo… Anthony wasn’t 100% sure about me in the beginning. I think he had been convinced by various mutual acquaintances that I was a complete wild cat and was one to be reckoned with. That, my friends, is just an act.

Still yet, he was gun shy of me enough that even after he had fallen in love with me, he was skeerd to say it. Rather than saying it, everytime he’d come around, he’d have another CD for me and he’d tell me “listen to #8″ or whatever number the specific song would be. All of these songs would be lovey-dovey, oooey-goooey ditties. I got the message really fast and eventually he gave in and told me how much he loves me. What’s not to love, right? I just wanted to share the words to a song and the outcome of his profession of love and devotion to me, his Diva.

The song that captured my heart was: You Are My Flower - Flatt & Scruggs - Circa

It goes a little somethin like this:

You are my flower That’s blooming in the mountain so high

You are my flower That’s blooming there for me

When summertime is gone and snow begins to fall

You can sing this song and say to one and all

So wear a happy smile and life will be worthwhile

Forget the tears but don’t forget to smile

Now, ain’t that the sweetest thing you’ve ever seen in your life? What was the outcome of this?   Well, I went and got more ink.   I am his flower, indeed.

      “I get up, and nothing gets me down… You got it tough?  I’ve seen the toughest around… I and know, baby, just how you feel… You’ve got to roll with the punches to get to what’s real…”

1. The Misanthtropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.

     Most people love to watch train wrecks — you know, those situations that are going to Hell in a handbasket fast?  They enjoy seeing others fail.  That’s a pretty pathetic outlook in my book. 

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.

     That hyper-annoying “Mullah Cimoc“ guy is actually some ‘tard in Utah.  That’s why he got an Asshat of the Day award.

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.

     I have a *lot* of work to do tomorrow — errr, today, rather — and I’m not looking forward to it.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.

     A couple of weeks ago, LissaKay mentioned she had a tatoo.  I figured out where it was last night.  Good job, Lissa!  ROFLMAO

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.

     It’s funny.  People come to me expecting me to give them the answers to Life, the Universe and Everything.  They ask for advice on so many subjects, because they know I’ll listen.  The funny thing is, I very, very rarely give advice — I mean, I can count the number of times on one hand.  There’s an art to asking questions that make people think about the things in a productive manner… and some days, I’m pretty skilled with it.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.

     I wish for what everyone wishes for.  Love, Sex, Money, Sex, Fun, Sex and a really cool prize at the bottom the Cracker Jacks.   And Sex.

Now it’s your turn.

You can take part in The Monday Melee, even make it a regular feature at your site by visiting The Monday Melee page and following the steps. Kick-start your brain on Mondays and meet other bloggers.

     I got this comment, and thought, “Hey, why not make this asshat famous?  He’s almost as cool as Joseph Ferrante!”

mullah cimoc | shirin_hassan77@yahoo.com | IP: 67.166.109.28

mullah cimoc say paris hilton the good and the courage. him not run away, but go to jail. this calld the charcter.

she the beautifuyl and the natural and having so many baby in future to be good wife and mother.

but lesbian ameriki and lesbian ameriki mans hating her for natural the beauty and normal liking the boy.

ameriki so wicked and hate the woman unless she killing the baby and liking the lesbian.

in waziristan this not happen. father him not allow anyone hurting him daughter. taking the “special measure”. but ameriki so tame now. no respect for self.

in waziristan whole clan attacking this wicked judge and destroy, and also destry him entire family, to include even the second cousin. and burn with fire. and all grave of ancestor destroy and give bone for dog.

hypocrite liar ameriki say him “free” the womans but in true..ameriki woman the whore with LBT (low back tattoo) and hate husband. only free to having the abortion kill bnaby , to being slut and bad wife not cooking.
so soon all ameriki need make freedom and destroy controlling of usa by masters in tel aviv through spy in white house and pentagon.

for him true and good info: stop1984now@yahoo.com

     If you look around the ‘net, you’ll find all sorts of garbage like that from Mullah Comic … errr, Mullah Cimoc, rather.

     Dude, yer not funny.  Really.  Stop it.

     Besides, I still know several women with LBT’s who are pretty good cooks, although, I don’t know of any like that from where you are in Utah (which is a long way from Waziristan, Pakistan, last I checked).  Regardless, when they’re not cooking, at least their husbands have something to aim at…

This stuff kills me. The guy got a stupid tattoo on a whim, and so, he decides to fix it by getting an even bigger, stupider tattoo on top of it! Yeah, that looks better. I had a girlfriend who got a yin-yang symbol on her hip. She hated it. So she fixed it by getting a dragon tattooed, holding the yin-yang symbol. Hated it.

Eventually these people’s entire bodies will be covered by one enormous tattoo on top of another on top of another…

Hey doofus, this will be on you forever. Think a long time before you do it. For your entire existense, will you want to be seen with a “tribal” arm band? Me, I change outfits daily. I change my hairstyle every so often. I have more than one mood. And what I strongly believed even just a short time ago, I now question. Why the hell would I want anything on my body forever?

And the old tired cliche of getting a dead friend or a child tattoed on you… please. I love my family and friends and if I need a tattoo to show I love my daughter, I have a serious problem. I show my love by, like, actually loving.

A tattooed friend said that it’s addictive. Once you get one, you want more and more. He doesn’t really like most of his tattoos either, like most people I meet. I think it’s more like when you get a new car and it gets that first ding. After that, you really don’t care how many more dings it gets. It’s hosed.