[... silence ...]

     (makes a prayer)

     [... silence ...]

     Me: “Why does this keep happening?  Work my ass off for a client, don’t get paid, and suddenly it’s all twisted into me being the bad guy…”
     Voice: Desperation… so strong a need that you impair your own judgement and do business with people you know are going to take advantage.
     Me: “Need clouds judgement… ”
     Voice: …so you must stop making choices based on desperate need and begin establishing beneficial, long-term connections…
     Me: “Get out of survival mode…”
     Voice: …and stop trusting out of necessity rather than trusting logically.
     Me: “But they’re still asshats…”
     Voice: Then stop dealing with asshats.

     Me: “Duplicitous… Four months ago you told me not to let my head rule my heart.”
     Voice: That was different.
     Me: “Why?”
     Voice: You should never talk yourself out of faith in the things that make you happy.
     Me: “And if I don’t, and I’m still unhappy?”
     Voice: Are you?
     Me: “It fell down again…”
     Voice: Then you should ask yourself much you helped it along.
     Me: “Every second of every day.”
     Voice: You didn’t learn the first time, did you?
     Me: “Learn what?”
     Voice: Happiness should never be questioned.  Accept it, and it’s yours.

     Me: “How can anyone say they love someone and tell that person that they’ll go away if they don’t do exactly what they want?”
     Voice: “That’s not love… it’s control.”
     Me: “How are we supposed to deal with that from other people that we love?”
     Voice: “If they only want to control, the best thing to do is turn your back for a while and give them control of their own lives… if they truly love, they’ll be back.”
     Me: “Kinda like letting children grow up…”
     Voice: “Exactly…”

     Me: “I can’t ask her to move away from everything she knows…”
     Voice: “Two hours is a short drive. especially when you meet in the middle.“

     Me: “What if it all falls down again?”
     Voice: “Don’t let you head rule your heart.  Follow your instincts.“