Attention Defecit and Hyperactive Disorder is being diagnosed a lot more these days.  I would say “It’s about damn time!” but man, I’ve been dealing with it for a long time without taking Ritalin and a lot of other drugs that kept it in check.  I needed that impulsive, crazy streak in me to be … well … Me.

     Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, on the other hand, has become the “new” diagnosis for a lot of things.  I had a lot of bad stuff happen as a child — and adult, even every more recently — and, ya know, I’m actually starting to realize, “Yeah, too much of that stuff does stick with ya.”  Crap, I never realized how much, actually. 

     I’ve always said, “You can’t be a slave to your past.”

     I’ve always judged a lot of people, too.  “Get over your shit, and get on with your life.”

     Funny how things have a way of coming back to bite you in the ass, isn’t it?

     The unknown …

     You can either take a chance or never make a decision.

     I figure it this way.  Back in the Garden of Eden, there was a forbidden fruit.  Eve chose to eat it.  Adam chose to eat it.  They got punished for it.  And God kinda said, “Hey, now you guys know right from wrong.  You make your own circumstances.  Deal with it.”
     That’s about where the religious part of it ends, tho.  I mean, hey, I pray.  I pray to be able to deal with what’s going on.  I very rarely pray for much else.

     I’m dealing with my as best I can.  I got a new notebook today, because, well, mine were both trashed.  I had a dead screen on one, and the other won’t work when it’s plugged in.

     What I’m saying is, I’m getting there.

     Might be slowly, but when I think it’s only been a few weeks, too, hey …

     The Unknown …

     I miss my Wildcat.  I need her encouragement.  I never needed that from anyone before — I just did what I did, and didn’t give a damn about anything else.

     And maybe, just maybe, she’ll end up feeling that way … and we can grow a garden.

      I love you, baby.

So, as of late we here at blogitude.com have not been writing as frequently as we should.  Although I think it might have something to with the fact some of us got caught up in our own lives.  So I will take the first step in order to break the silence.  I have to offer two funny articles: the first on why unothodox Christians would never breed if they truly followed their own ideas  (Yay! No more Temple Baptist Church, School, or Crown College); the second more condom news!

Whack, Unwrap, and Enjoy!

Tip: Thanks to Beth for the links.

I have had gay friends all my adult life. I have been comfortable with homosexuality for a long time. A few things lately have made it clear to me that a lot of people have very little understanding of homosexuality. I want to make a few points clear.

People are born gay or straight. Many people grow up hiding their sexuality for various reasons, but the fact that they announce they are gay after they are adults, or even after they have had spouses and children does not change the fact that they were gay when they were born. They don’t get converted or victimized into it. Nor do they choose it. It is a very difficult thing they usually struggle with for years before they admit it. They choose when they call themselves gay, but not when they are gay.

This is extremely difficult for many to deal with because it means God created gay people as gay and yet, we are all told God hates homosexuality. To believe people are born gay is to believe that God is a liar or something. What do you do?

The answer is that we live in a very different time than when the Bible was written.  Some things are as true today as they were 4,000 years ago, but many things are not. We don’t take laws set down by God concerning donkeys to literally apply only to donkeys. Things change. In this case, we now know that homosexuality is an inherited trait as much as red hair or black skin. They didn’t know that a couple thousand years ago. Times change. Things change. We have knowledge they didn’t. It doesn’t nullify God’s Law, it amends it. And it gives us the chance to be more righteous and good than the saints and the prophets.

The good news is, homophobic men don’t have to worry any longer that they will turn gay from a hit on the head or perhaps a drunken fling with another gay. You’re straight, get over it.

A lot of very dumb things are perpetrated because of this lack of understanding. Many people are trying to limit knowledge of homosexuality as a means to limit homosexuality itself. They think that if people know about it, it creates it. The truth is, people are gay, and some know what they are and some don’t. When they find out that what they are is gay and there are millions of other gay people, they are relieved and announce what they have always been. To the paranoid outsider they imagine that the knowledge created the homosexuality. That’s as true as finding out that there is something called hiccups and realizing you have them and they are normal. Knowing about hiccups didn’t cause hiccups, it gave it a name and a context.

This is the issue of our time. It is the Jim Crowe era for gay people. They can’t have the legal protections and rights others take for granted. They are ridiculed without consideration. They are mistreated. They are discriminated against. They can work their entire lives with a partner and end up with no rights to share in their life in terms of inheritence, etc. as they would were they straight and married. All these things happen because of the way they were born. Same as skin color. They had no choice and would likely have made a different one if they could. And so they are mistreated because of how God made them.

Be glad you were not born gay in these times. Just as there was a time when simply being born black in this country was going to be a struggle against society, today, being born gay makes you an instant victim.

And much as in those segregation times, the people who have the strongest feelings against gay people, have not been around them. My growing up with black people in my schools and churchs and as my peers and friends made it impossible for me to be a racist as my parents generation was. Having many gay friends lets me see how normal it is and I can’t imagine a reason to treat them as less than equal humans and citizens. But for those who live where no one dares come out of the closet, they are free to continue to imagine that gay people are some monster to be fought. It’s the same way in the all white counties of this country where racism continues to be passed down without being contradicted by the existence of people of color in their lives.

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I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell
I know, right now you can’t tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you’ll see
A different side of me
     — “Unwell,” Matchbox Twenty

1. The Magnificent: Name someone you absolutely adore, and tell us why. 
     My Wildcat found me through a series of bizarre coincidences, and latched on like there was no tomorrow.  She went out of her way, through all of my cynicism, to prove that things some things are meant to be.

2. The Muddy: Tell us something about life you just don’t “get”.
     When going out for breakfast this morning, I listened to a couple of Preacher’s relatives sitting far back away from everyone, talking in no unspecific terms about how cool it was that they were safe, since they’d blamed their accountant for fleecing money from their Church.  Thinking back, I know too many Church accountants who’ve committed suicide over crap like that.  How the Hell can people who are supposed to be leading us be such rotten bastards?

3. The Magnetic: Name something or someone good (or bad) you’re drawn to and you just can’t help it. Tell us if you want to change this or not.
     I’m drawn to my Wildcat, Hell or high water.  It’s a hopeless case.

4. The Mainstay: Who or what is something you just can’t live without? Why?
     See #3.  Retrospectively, I’ve always met a “special someone” at a time when I probably shouldn’t have, when I wasn’t prepared.  This time around, things were different.  I was ready… and now I’m hooked.

5. The Masquerade: Tell us something about yourself we wouldn’t already know.
     Most of my time growing up was spent in the care of other people, usually elderly people.  My Grandmother. Mary, the sister of one of my mother’s managers.  I struggled a lot growing up because I had a lot of Wisdom way too early… and too often forgot to be a kid.  I flip back and forth a lot these days…

6. The Mettle: Tell us about a time you showed courage in yourself, or tell us what you wish you had the courage to do.
     A while back, I had a really intense migraine.  The next day, I lost my mind in a bad way.  I just woke up that morning, and it was gone.  I started therapy… and while a lot of people think that’s not a big deal, it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.  These days, I know where my mind is.  I just misplace it sometimes.

Now it’s your turn.

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Well, in terms of recent events I can say absolutely no one.

Especially in terms of a particular political party that is supposed to be pro-choice.

Let’s take a look at what the term pro-choice means.  (Since I personally believe that the entire country with the exception of a chosen few need a refresher on this term.)  Pro, derived from Latin, means for, as in for or against.  Choice, is Germanic in origin, and simply means the act or choosing the thing chosen.  So together, in all rational thought you would think that being pro-choice would then mean to be for making choices.  Not deciding to be for a specific choice, but the action of making that choice (sorry for the redundancy, however in the light of the Miss Teen South Carolina candidate, one can never be to sure about proving a point).

So why then do the liberals (who unfortunately get lumped into the category with democrats and lazy republicans), say they are pro-choice? 

The answer is so simple: they lump it together with abortion.  Like a small majority of Christians who consider all other faiths to be heathen and un-christian (ex. my god is better than your god so lets fight about it, which is not unlike early kung-fu movies).

So I say drop the noise and notion that you are pro-choice, because you obviously are not.  If you were, what is your stance on gun control?  I advocate safety and proper technique, not crummy legislation that will keep law abiding citizens from owning and operating guns.  While they are not a toy, neither is an automobile.  I don’t see anyone trying to improve the mass transit in this country either, but I’ll save that for another day.

Next this funny thing called citizenship, it is for citizens.  Persons born in or who migrate legally are citizens.  Not illegal immigrants who work without paying federal, state, and local taxes on their incomes.

So in conclusion, I would venture to say that the majority of liberals by my rationale are pro-choice, like so many other things, when it suits them or is more convenient.

please note: definitions are reduced from merriamwebster.com, with the exception of pro-choice.

As my wonderful blog about LUST didn’t strike anybody’s fancy at all, I kind of went into blog hiding.  I mean, although I haven’t changed my view on my human nature, maybe I shouldn’t have been so darn candid about my personal life.

Regardless of that, it was how I felt at the moment and as with any other facet of life, I pressed “publish” before I really thought about offending anybody.  I apoligize to anybody who read it and thought, “That girl’s going straight to hell.”

     Today’s Asshat comes to us from a magical place where there there was never slavery, no judgmentalism, and is completely devoid of religious and political extremism.

     Yes, of course I’m joking.

     He’s from north-central South Carolina.

     I can only assume this is some ridiculous retort to yesterday’s post where I said, “I’m a lot more than just the sum of my experiences…”  But I wonder why he didn’t leave it in the comments, in that context, instead of giving me such impressive ammunition for an Asshat of the Day post?

     Via the Contact form, this so-called Doctor of Psychology writes:

From: Dr. H.T.B., Psy.D
Date: July 31st 2007, 9:34AM

It is wrong to think that you are more than the sum of your experiences.

It is even worse to combine it under religion.
Your deep faith commits you to slavery of a false ideal.
You are subservient to other masters.
You have righteous indignation.
The worse you feel the more you believe.
Your free will disappears.
It is an arrogant philopshopy of exclusion that breeds hatred.

You are the sum of your experiences and nothing more.
Your are flirting with disaster to think otherwise.

     I’m impressed with your amazing powers of observation, dude!  You must have been wearing your tinfoil hat to have such keen insight into all of the secret messages in the post.  *snicker*
     If you got all of that from a blog post, you’re more f$&*ed up than a football bat.  

     Where did you come up with the idea that I had “deep faith?”  Where did you come up with the idea that people who spiritual or religious are a bunch of exclusionary, hateful bastards?
     While I can agree with this viewpoint in certain cases (i.e. followers of former Asshat Award recipient, Fred Phelps), it’s certainly no reason to condemn every one of them.

     Doc, you apparently think anyone who mentions a Maker is a religious zealot, who’s a slave to false ideals and just out there to screw with people.  People like you, perhaps?  Did you have a bad experience with someone who was deeply religious?

     Seriously, I think you might need to try some of the advice you’re so quick to dole out.  Maybe you should take one of those pills…
     You know…
     The ones with a small risk of sexual side effects, but they are rare?
     Of course, both taking the pill and noticing any sexual side effects would require removing your head from your ass… You’re flirting with disaster to think otherwise.

     It’s a little disturbing that someone who claims to be a Doctor of Psychology doesn’t remember the basic tenets of his practice.  Perhaps some remedial study is in order…
     We are all the sum of our experiences, but it’s the way that we deal with them that defines who we are.  We can succumb to bad experiences and reflect them into our every day lives and be unhappy, or learn from them and move on in order to better ourselves and become well-adjusted.
     Me, I’ll take the latter.

     Inspiration:  I talked to a friend earlier.  Burned out on work, having my life turned upside down by loving someone I probably shouldn’t.  Like a lot of my close friends, he’s in his late 60’s.  And a Minister.

     I just said, “Look, I fucked up.  I’m sorry.  I feel horrible.”
     He said, “Look, we all go through it.  I can’t answer anything for ya.”
     “That’s what I keep telling people…”
     He looked at me, dead in the eyes, and said, “Yeah, that’s why we’ve always been able to hang out.  You get it.”

     Look, here it is, all laid out and simple.

     I’ll probably miss a few subjects … But it’s pretty much the same.

     Abuse:  Deal with it, or don’t.  Nobody else will.

     Anger:  Deal with it, or don’t.  Nobody else will.

     Hate:  Deal with it, or don’t.  Nobody else will.

     Stress:  Deal with it, or don’t.  Nobody else will.

     Empathy:  Deal with it, or don’t.  Nobody else will.

     Oh, I don’t mean to sound cold … but really …  

     Being an empath sucks.  I can put up with a lot of shit, take on other people’s stress, and pretty much ruin myself trying to help ‘em out … but most of all, I can listen.  I can offer a few words here and there, but as a general rule, I don’t bother.

     My difference is, from other people, is that I don’t give advice.  I ask questions. 
     “Is that what you want?”
     “Are you happy with that?”
     “So that’s your decision?”
     “Are you being true to yourself?”
     They’re not hard questions, really.

     But when you’re an empath, and you’re trying — sometimes, trying your damndest — to care, you can only do so much for a person as they’ll let you.  Sometimes, they’re not honest about their problems, telling you one thing, and feeling something totally different.
     Other times … it’s time to either let go, or don’t.  

     The end.

     Thinking about that, in my way, makes me realize …

     Me, I haven’t been very “faithful” to several people who are integral in my life.  I’ve kept a lot of things to my self.  I’ve said, “Hey, I’ll handle it,” when I very obviously needed counsel.  I needed a pep talk, and never asked for one.
     To those people … Those friends … Family … Mentors … and other people who rely on me … 
     I’ve been a shit.  And I sincerely apologize.
     And when I haven’t told you anything … you’re still right here?
     That’s some pretty damn serious devotion.

     Sometimes, I just need certain those around me to know that I’m right here.  I get it, or will, and … *shrug*  Sometimes, I need someone to listen to me, too.

     Once you surround yourself with those people — those people that you care about, and they care about you — everything falls into place.

     You can’t love without trust.

     And vice versa.

     It does take a leap of faith.

     Some people get that … and some people don’t.

Benjamin Franklin once said, “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy.” If this is true then why is there a last call at the bar, drinking age and limited availability? Why force us partake with regard to responsibility this wonderful gift of our glorious maker? After all, Jesus is the Wonderful Counselor. Counselor is a pseudonym for attorney.  So he could take care of any trouble you could get into.  (Unless it’s not part of the Divine plan.)

I may be the only one who see this train of logic, I still think it is ideal. Oh well, so much for living in a perfect world.

Must have something to do with that whole original sin idea. You’re born and very much guilty until proven innocent. Therefore, you are subject to archaic rituals of cleansing and reckoning. So then, you can think like a child in order to approach an ideal afterlife. However, you went through all the ritual to avoid the tendencies of misdeed in the first place. Something sounds fishy about this. It’s all a little too cyclical if you ask me.

I guess that is what I get for trying it interject logic into a book. Especially since its origins are rooted in religion and supposed to be the words of the Divine. Who in the book translates best as a distant father figure that shakes a finger at you and says, “Damn it, do it my way or the highway.” Then gives you freewill. The problem I think has nothing do with the original idea. The interpretation mistakes lie in the hands of the penholders who recorded it and the translators in later years, not the concepts.

While this guy isn’t specifically saying that God Hates, this is the sort of asshat the pisses me off. This guy and the others that infest public events, spouting that God Hates Fags, liberals, republicans, muslims, all pique my ire.

Assuming for a moment that God is real and not some made up fiction used to perpetuate wars and get rich, how can anyone with bad penmanship and poor social skills claim to know the mind of God? Are they really so enlightened to understand their god so well that they can vouch for his complete and utter hatred of a given group of people?

So for all you people who think god hates people, GOD HATES YOU TOO!