American Flag: $24.99
Gasoline: $5.32
Cigarette Lighter: $2.50
Catching Yourself on Fire Because You’re a Flag-Burning Asshat?
PRICELESS
OG came into my office the other day. She was giggling and terribly amused about something. She told me to sign onto AOL so she could shoot me a linkie.
And she did. And it was funny. I plan to purchase multiples.
The Hillary Clinton Nutcracker! Get yours today!
On the way back, from out the woods, all of a sudden the traffic came to a stand still. For a second I thought I had given way to shock and was in need medical attention because this is Maryville, Tennessee. This is a town that is maybe three times the size of Stockbridge, Massachusetts, it seemed a bit excessive to require four police cars and one tow truck at the “scene of the crime.”
After all it was just a routine case of dented rear (end) syndrome. One idiot/person liked the other person’s butt a little too much and would have no long distance relationship. For this driver, he wanted that butt just like a babyboomer to coke: ”ITS MINE!!! I WANT IT NOW!!!!!!!” A moment of pure obsessive madness.
The larger problem is the inability of said law enforcement to correctly assist in navigating around such a traffic fiasco. No, instead said officer motioned as if I was to stop my motor vehicle. What he then failed to do was request that I drive around said incident while he walked past me.
This was not a case of American blind justice, just sheer irreverence for having a decent work ethic. After all aren’t public servants supposed to perform their tasks to the best of their ability no matter how irksome? Or, in the midst of other current events, have the law enforcement officials in Maryville be taking notes from the Knox County Commision? Only time will tell…
Six years ago today, I was living in a wannabe-First-World country that finally made me realize, “Hey, this place is more f&*$ed up than a Football bat!” After a couple of lengthy discussions, a bit of screaming, sporadic violence and some careful planning, I decided to come back to the United States after a three year absence.
To everyone who says, “Oh, the [insert some random country's pathetic, government-provided excuse for a public solution] system is so much better in [insert some random country] than here in the US!” I would only say one thing:
Move there and find out what it’s really like compared to here, instead of believing some fairy-tale novella written by some asshat academic who’s never stepped foot in the country he adores above his own.
When it comes right down to it, the hard truth is that we get to enjoy the fruits of our labors, enjoying the best of most everything, whereas other countries export it for the good of their GDP.
Never forget what happened six years ago today.
Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.
No, sorry, it’s not the wonderful monthly rush of gore and blood. Which is carefully infused through an almost cancerous cavern of what once was love, but it’s close.
Welcome to the world of complete insanity. It’s almost time for the Presidential Election again.
Can you hear the mindless abundance of worthless propaganda trying to convince you to vote for one schmuck or another?
The Presidency is the highest public office in this country. With that in mind why are: Hillary Clinton, Borat O’Bama, err… sorry Barack Hussien Obama, John McCain, Fred Thompson, and so many others trying to attain this honor?
With the exception of greed, I don’t think any of them have the mindset to put our country first. Where is a candidate who will put the country above his or her own personal desires?
This is derived from a breakdown in overall morality and common decency. Simply stated “To much @#$%!!! compromise!” Poor decisions compounded upon one another to spread the radical ideas of one zealot. One idiot after another who tries to taint the soup so much it sours while cooking. The current President may not have been the greatest, but I’d put money on the fact he’d do better than any of his competition. Not like we could give them a chance anyhow, nor would we want to.
With this in mind on this Election Day, I will stay home. At least when I am done posturing myself about I will have something to show for it.
Well, in terms of recent events I can say absolutely no one.
Especially in terms of a particular political party that is supposed to be pro-choice.
Let’s take a look at what the term pro-choice means. (Since I personally believe that the entire country with the exception of a chosen few need a refresher on this term.) Pro, derived from Latin, means for, as in for or against. Choice, is Germanic in origin, and simply means the act or choosing the thing chosen. So together, in all rational thought you would think that being pro-choice would then mean to be for making choices. Not deciding to be for a specific choice, but the action of making that choice (sorry for the redundancy, however in the light of the Miss Teen South Carolina candidate, one can never be to sure about proving a point).
So why then do the liberals (who unfortunately get lumped into the category with democrats and lazy republicans), say they are pro-choice?
The answer is so simple: they lump it together with abortion. Like a small majority of Christians who consider all other faiths to be heathen and un-christian (ex. my god is better than your god so lets fight about it, which is not unlike early kung-fu movies).
So I say drop the noise and notion that you are pro-choice, because you obviously are not. If you were, what is your stance on gun control? I advocate safety and proper technique, not crummy legislation that will keep law abiding citizens from owning and operating guns. While they are not a toy, neither is an automobile. I don’t see anyone trying to improve the mass transit in this country either, but I’ll save that for another day.
Next this funny thing called citizenship, it is for citizens. Persons born in or who migrate legally are citizens. Not illegal immigrants who work without paying federal, state, and local taxes on their incomes.
So in conclusion, I would venture to say that the majority of liberals by my rationale are pro-choice, like so many other things, when it suits them or is more convenient.
In a surprise move yesterday, July 4th, 2007, 24-year-old Al Gore III proved that he’s more honest than his father, Al Gore, Jr. Apparently excercising his own form of “independence,” the privileged pothead was pulled over and arrested for driving more than 100mph, and for possession of Marijuana and a number of other drugs… While high…
The Al Gore, Jr., camp quickly came to the rescue, offering the explanation that the entire thing is a pubilicity stunt to show people that the hybrid-electric Toyota Prius can be driven at excessive speeds, therefore making it a reliable and viable alternative to traditional gasoline-powered combustion engines, all the while getting 55mpg.
Apparently, Al Gore, Jr., thinks the rest of us are as full of shit as he is.
It’s also worth noting the fact that a 1981 Subaru 1600DL would get 52mpg, and the 1997 Chevrolet Cavalier with the 1.8 OHC would get 49mpg, without all the excess hybridization… Those are actual mileages from real-time, personal experience.
Instead of burning a little gas, Al Gore would have us all drive cars which are put together with numerous refined gases and petrochemical products. This, of course, shows a need for more petrochemical refineries and plastic manufacturing plants, in addition to the astounding increase in global energy usage to manufacture things “a new way.”
So, ummm, isn’t that certainly worse for emissions than a few more gas-guzzling SUV’s…? All so that we can add a measly 5-8mpg?
Am I missing something, or does the math not work? Shouldn’t we be doing better?
Can you say Voodoo Economics, boys and girls?
I knew you could.
Tip: Les Jones at his new blog, Rock Stars Against Live Earth.
Ok. It’s Saturday morning. I just woke up. My eyes are glued together. My nose is crusty. My chest is full of crap that just doesn’t want to come up. In short, I have yet another sinus infection.
Did I go to the doctor to get his verification of my diagnosis? NO!
Why?
Because the cost of going to the doctor these days is just ridiculous. Besides the fact that I was only well for 10 days after the last time I paid my doctor office co-pay and $200 for a dufflebag full of medicatons that obviously didn’t do it for me.
The only perk I can think of today is that I’m high as a kite on the refill of codeine cough syrup Dr. Dude (hehe, I know you love that, Zacque) called in for me last time. Thank God for refills.
I feel for those in this great country that aren’t fortunate enough to have some kind of health coverage. I mean hell, I’ve got it and I still find myself in the sorry ass position of making a choice between getting well or paying the damn rent and feeding my kid.
It’s ridiculous when the most prosperous country in the world has somewhere around 23% (I know they are lying about the numbers) of its citizens walking around with no way to get well when they get the crud, or worse have serious health complications.
I don’t have it all that bad. My $200 sick day would have been near $325 had I not had my shitty insurance.
A friend of my family has a heart issue and needs a transplant. He’s a great man. Works hard every day. Yet, because he is self-employed he’s screwed. No insurance. And basically, until an Angel of light (anonymous) arranged a monetary donation of a huge sum, he was told “So sorry, go die”. Well, maybe it wasn’t quite that harsh, but he could get no help.
As soon as some cash was waved around, it was amazing how fast that he was placed on the list of people waiting for a potential heart donor.
Anyway. I just figured since it’s Saturday morning and I’m still sick (again), that I would pitch a tizzy fit about how we should be better taken care of.
Unfortunately, even having a fit over it isn’t making the shit in my chest break up.
Now, Diva’s last blog, “Skank of the Week: Paris Hilton” was funny to me. Most rational, thinking people think she’s a bit … well … Useless. I mean, really, what makes her a celebrity? Why the Hell should should anyone care, one iota, about her life in the least?
Apparently, it’s because she’s rich, and totally enjoys making an ass herself, her family, exploiting the silver spoon, etc. etc. etc. She’s a train wreck waiting to happen, a poster child for “Rich Bitch.”
Everyone hates her.
Free Speech comes to mind…
We’re just past Memorial Day. I didn’t blog, because I was busy living my life, being an idiot and having a good time.
If I had blogged, I would’ve reminded people about all of the people who had died to make this a Free country. Those are people who made an extreme sacrifice, whether they lived or died, that was dedicated to furthering our Freedom, or the Freedom of a given nation. They’re people of conviction and character, who stood up and took action while others sat on their haunches waiting for the next episode of blah-blah-blah.
I also would’ve reminded people about the ideals that those heroes stood for in defense of Freedom in this country.
I’ve lived in a few other countries, some at others’ suggestions, and found out that Americans, as a whole, take those Freedoms for granted.
(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NymRecFWgAs)
You have the right to be offended. You have the right to change the channel. You have the right to read another blog. You have the right to hate our politicians. You have the right to vote. You have the right to marriage. You have the right to divorce. You have the right to rant about them on a blog. You have the right to free yourself of toxic people. You have the right to file a restraining order against an abuser.
So long as you’re obeying some pretty loose concepts of law and trying to be a decent person, you can do pretty much anything you want. Nobody’s telling us what to do — we make our own choices, we lead our own lives, and there’s no Government standing over us to tell us what to read, what to think, what to express.
That makes us unique in the world. As much as people “complain” about the “loss of our freedom,” I’d have to say — go live somewhere else for a while, then get back to me.
So it strikes me as funny, with all of those rights, how some people seem to feel think that they have the right not to be offended — how they might “sue” a blog for a deragotory comment which reveled no personal information whatsoever. How they might file a gag order on a legal case to prevent it from being talked about, no matter how heinously ridiculous the case might be. How they might file a “stalking” charge because someone put up a link to a video they didn’t like.
Hippies ate a lot of Acid, pretending to be activists for Free Spech.
So … What, uh … Changed?
Remember Perry Caravello, the guy who’s so Internet Saavy he couldn’t even spell “youtube” — or get Johnny Knoxville name right — in a lawsuit? This is to people like him. It’s also to “celebrities” who might garner attention via research, and thus benefit, from a sarcastic dietribe…
(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPhje8wepyg)
G’night, kids.
God bless.
Tip: Zacque Hitchcock, who found these two perfect examples of video
Okay, I suck. I forgot last week’s Monday Melee. And then, I forgot it yesterday, too. I dunno how that happened! Well, actually, I do, but I’m not telling. Thpft!
Meanwhile, I’m gonna sit here jamming out to Etta James some more…
1. The Misanthtropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.
Some people are just gigantic asshats. They serve no purpose, other than the be asshats. I’m sure everyone knows at least one. The worst types of asshats are the ones who can’t tolerate other asshats in the slightest. They get all bent out of shape when someone treats them like they treat everyone else around them.
Makes me wanna slap some sense into ‘em.
2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
Al Gore decided to slam the Media for “trivialities and nonsense” the other day. He immediately followed up his jab for Media to pick up one of his pet causes — well, actually, the only cause. Apparently, Mr. Gore feels that United States should pass Global Warming legislation which puts limits on pollution which are lower than our current standards. What a ‘tard!
3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
I’m not unhappy. Really. ;-) Gimme a few hours… I figure by 9AM, I’ll have something…
4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.
Umm … Hey, you. No, not you — that one … Yeah, you … Thanks. 
(No names, no names)
5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
I heard a rumour that I’m a really nice and generous guy who’s always around to offer a shoulder and a beer. Yeah, okay, that’s true.
6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
Tomorrow night’s Powerball Lottery sure sounds good. I can think of all sorts of things I could do with those kinds of winnings… First on the list: Disney World again. ;-)
Now it’s your turn.
You can take part in The Monday Melee, even make it a regular feature at your site by visiting The Monday Melee page and following the steps. Kick-start your brain on Mondays and meet other bloggers.
