Doncha hate it when people call, you ignore it or don’t answer because you’re in the middle of something, and they keep calling over and over and over, not leaving a voicemail, or actually giving you any more than two seconds peace between rings?

     After about the third time, you’re thinking, “Oh, shit, this must be important!”  So you answer the call…
     ”Hey? Whatcha doing?”

     My favorite answer?  ”Well, dumbass, I was busy ignoring your incessant, non-emergency phone calls, but you interrupted that…”

     Of course, I’ve used a few others. 

     “Ok, do you hear the water?  I am in the f#$*ing shower, ya know…”
     “WHO DO I HAVE TO KILL TO TAKE A DUMP IN PEACE?”
     “What?  So it’s not important?  Well, sorry I was busy whacking it, and I was almost there…. thanks!”

     Of course, three years ago, it was always because, well, “we” were “busy” just about every waking hour.   Callers like that rarely expected to hear two voices answering the same phone… And ya know what…
     I do miss that, if nothing else…

     This morning, at 6AM, my telephone rang.
     “Hello?”
     I was greeted by a recorded message telling me about the wonders of Globalization, and how Offshoring can help my business.  I hung up.  The phone rang again, and when I answered, the recording continued.

     I called back the number of my caller ID — 703-738-6669.  It took two tries to get to a human being, who explained that she was with Arctern Incorporated, and was based in — no big surprise — India.

     I asked her why their company was calling people in the United States at 6AM.
     She began reading a broken-English essay about offshoring.
     I told her that at 6AM, no one was open to that kind of drivel.  I also informed her that since I’m on US/Eastern, it was later here than anywhere else in the US, and that her and company have NO BUSINESS calling ANYONE in the United States at that time.
     “Sir, perhaps you should speak to our marketing department.”
     “I will not speak to your marketing company.  You are officially informed that you are not to call this number ever again, and right now, you’ll be extremely lucky if I don’t file a nuisance complaint and have your Fairfax, Virginia telephone number disconnected.”
     At that point, I hung up.

     Arctern’s website lists all sorts of buzzwords.  “Outsourcing.”  “Offshoring.”  “Technology.”  “Research.”

     I only consider that their “Outsouced,” “Offshore” corporation was unable to leverage “Technology” and “Research” Time Zones before they started mass-dialing the United States at 6AM.

     Arctern Incorporated get the Asshat-of-the-Day award.

     Thanks, Glenn.  Appreciate ya.  *rolls eyes in faux disgust* 

     Met up with some cool people for Blogfest on Saturday night:

• Perry Nelson
• Cathy McCaughan
• Doug McCaughan
• Rich Hailey
• Michael Silence
• Randy Neal
• Barry
• SayUncle
• CE Petro
• Les Jones
• Mike Faulk
• Lissa Kay
• Katie Allison Granju
• Jonathan Hickman
• Dr Helen

     Oh, and Glenn “Instapundit” Reynolds … *snicker*

     Had a few laughs … Had a few Porters … Had a few more laughs … And then … Met up with some more friends … Had a few more Porters … And laughs … and continued to the next venue(s).

     At some point during the night, I actually turned off my phone and left it in the car, because the business calls were really bringing me down after what had already been a long, long, long, long day.  Four business calls per hour gets old on a Saturday night…

UPDATE 11:26PM GMT-5

     Having just read Rich Haily’s blog in its entirety, I wish to clarify something:

Present but not blogging were Les Jones and his wife Melissa, and Mark Steel.

     I submit that I am not the wife of Les Jones.  I have not, nor will I ever be, married to Les.  Nor has anyone ever, ever called me “Melissa.”  I am also sure that Les is not from Utah, nor Massachusetts.
     That said, however, Les and I do have more in common than most of my recent dates, such as mutual affections for Star Wars, Firearms and making fun of the Dixie Chicks.  *snicker*