Why is this News?

June 25th, 2007 at 11:45 am by Monty Hazeltrig
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That’s the question I heard as I picked up my to go order. I thought it deserved saying again.

People get murdered every day.

Why did this particular event become the headline? Why do I care at all about this particular event hundreds of miles from me and unrelated to anyone I know?

Why is this headline news on all the networks? Does anyone ever ask that at the network? Does anyone ever ask if they are hurting or helping both the victims and their families, and the viewers? Does anything but sensationalism and ratings matter?

I really don’t give a shit about these headline stories. They have absolutely nothing to do with me or anyone I remotely know.

News should matter to the viewers. It should have some relationship to their lives. It should not be a slow drive by a crash on the highway.

That’s sick.

Yes, Eddie Vedder Still Sucks

June 12th, 2007 at 3:02 pm by Mark Steel
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     If I ever meet Eddie Vedder, I wanna slap him down with the corpse of Jimi Hendrix … Then beat them both to a greasy mash with a giant baseball bat bearing the word “ANNUNCIATE!” in giant block letters, written with a permanent Sharpie…

     But that’s just me. *shrug* 

     I feel justified, having put up with him in three bands which sound exactly the same (collectively known as “Stone Pilots of the Pearl Temple Dog Jam”), and a solo carreer that’s long past its expiry date…

     But, in all fairness, at least we see eye-to-eye on one thing: I don’t want a whale in a box or a bag, either.

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLd22ha_-VU)

     Anton and I were watching the Flash-based predecessor to this final product a few weeks ago, and making some serious fun of Eddie Vedder’s lack of … English?  Which is sort of ironic, I think, considering how often Anton and I put captions on cat photos

Tip: Dame Wiggins of Lee, who finally gets it: When all else fails, laugh!

Breaking Satire: Trooper & Porn Star Aftermath

June 4th, 2007 at 12:43 pm by Mark Steel
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NASHVILLE, TN (Via the Web) - Nashville Investigators and Lawmakers who are using video from the website of porn star Barbie Cummings in order to file charges against Tennessee Highway Patrol Officer Moss are now being surreptitiously released from employment for browsing porn sites from a State Government-funded network.

The former employees are filing wrongful termination suits based on the fact that they were only doing their jobs in investigating the antics of Officer Moss.  However, the fact that they “somehow” knew where to find the video implicating the officer places “cart before horse” doubt on their litigation.

When asked about the merits of the former employees cases, State Defense Attorney, I. P. Freely responded, “Was it the chicken or the egg who came first?”

Attorney for the plaintiffs, I. M. Stoned, quickly retorted, “That’s totally irrelevant!  It was CLEARLY Officer Moss who came first!”

Also in the works, Governor Bredesen’s personal admin assistant, Anita Goodlay, and an additional female staff member known only “the one with the big tits,” have filed Sexual Harrassment charges against the Governor after being wrongfully terminated for refusing to, “Come here and check this out!”

Star Wars Helpdesk

May 9th, 2007 at 4:51 pm by Mark Steel
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     Alright, so it’s old … I haven’t seen it before …

     And, obviously, now I can’t use the I-D-Ten-T thing anymore, either… Kinda sucks, since RTFM is common knowledge, and I just lost PEBKAC last month

Little Brainwashing

December 9th, 2006 at 3:15 am by Mark Steel
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     The site, Little Democrats, has been spammed continually for the last week from Democratic organizations, Google AdSense and miscellaneous “do-gooders” who think that this Democrat-centric children’s book is a good idea.
     Unfortunately, it’s a load of crap.

     Just take a look at the sample pages … I mean, apparently, Republicans are a group of people who don’t share their toys, run over children and charge money to go to school.

     Regardless, from what I remember, the Government isn’t supposed to be a Parent to its citizens. It’s supposed to exist to represent them.

     So, of course, I couldn’t resist spoofing it…

Little Democrats

Parody Has its Purpose

October 27th, 2006 at 2:03 pm by Mark Steel
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     Today, I saw a Star Wars: Episode 3 spoof by Sequential Pictures that was impressively produced for being so slapstick-stupid (I loved it!) and though I’d post it here.

     But after looking around on their site a bit more, I ran into some other gems which kept me laughing for at least seventy-eight seconds longer.

     Laughter is a good thing.  Especially tongue-in-cheek.

Pink Flamingo Passes Away

October 20th, 2006 at 4:37 am by Mark Steel
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     It’s time to bid a fond farewall to a favorite, formerly famous, front-yard fowl.  Alas, the Pink Flamingo is no more, dead at a mere fourty-nine years of age.
     Union Products, of Leominster, Mass., has finally given up production of these unsightly eyesores due to financial problems.

     According to the original article in the South Florida Sun-Sentinel:

Robert Thompson, professor of popular culture at Syracuse University, paid tribute to the infamous bird that has been immortalized everywhere — from the John Waters’ movie Pink Flamingos, to bachelor parties and lawns across America.

“Let’s face it,” he said. “As iconic emblems of kitsch, there are two pillars of cheesy, campiness in the American pantheon. One is the velvet Elvis. The other is the pink flamingo.”

The birth of the plastic pink flamingo in 1957 coincided with the booming interest in Florida, Thompson said, making it possible for those in other parts of the country to have a little piece of the Sunshine State’s mystique in their yard.

By the late ’70s, according to Thompson, the pink flamingo became a symbol of bad taste. It was considered trash culture and embraced by folks with a wise-guy attitude. They knew better (wink, wink) but embraced the iconic symbol anyway.

By the late ’80s and early ’90s, he said we learned to make fun of pop culture items such as the pink flamingo as well as appreciate them.

“The pink flamingo has gone from a piece of the Florida boom and Florida exotica to being a symbol of trash culture to now becoming a combination of all we know — kitsch, history, simplicity and elegance,” Thompson said.

Until recently, Mike Smollon was one of the folks who put the pink flamingo in the kitsch category.

But during a recent trip to Massachusetts, the Boynton Beach firefighter and battalion chief had an epiphany.

After reading a story in the Sentinel & Enterprise (Fitchburg, Mass.) about the closing of the factory, he bought 12 pairs of flamingos.

“I never owned a pink flamingo before,” Smollon said. “To be honest, I used to think this was the kind of a thing only a girl would put in her yard. But when I found out the factory was closing, I thought this is something historical happening.”

Smollon went to the factory and bought 11 sets of pink flamingos and one set of the commemorative gold flamingos that were made for 2007, which would have been the bird’s 50th birthday. He plans to keep a few and give the rest to flamingo-loving friends.

Flamingo fever hit and he searched the Internet for Don Featherstone, the kitchy bird’s creator. When he learned that Featherstone lived only about five minutes from his hotel, he called him and asked if he could come over and get his photograph taken with him.

Not only did Featherstone and his wife, Nancy, come out of the house wearing matching pink shirts adored with green flamingos, the artist autographed two sets of flamingos. Smollon also bought a copy of Featherstone’s book, The Original Pink Flamingos: Splendor on the Grass (Schiffer Publishing, 1999), which he autographed for an extra $5.

After Smollon returned home, he bought a set of pink flamingos from the 1950s for $39 on eBay.

“Now I have one of the first sets made and one of the last sets made,” he said. “I have my own private collection.”

     Of course, it’s lived a full life at only 49, growing from an Annoying Adornment to the King of Kitsch.

     Don’t forget to check out the Mockumentary, “The Pink Flamingo: Ambassador of the American Lawn.”

     Or this one…

Aha! I Knew There Was a Reason I Loved YouTube!

October 14th, 2006 at 5:13 pm by Mark Steel
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     I sincerely hope that YouTube’s content doesn’t suffer in the wake of the Google buyout.  Where else am I gonna find such gems?

     The Family Guy is a freakin’ brilliant show.  That kind of stupid, slapstick comedy interspersed with hilarious, anti-politically-correct social commentary — along with its impeccably timed infusions of pop-culture — really strike a chord with me.
     Here’s a perfect for-instance: their spoof Aha’s “Take on Me” is one of my favorites.  Check out the video…

     Thanks to the wonders of YouTube, idiots all over the world can record themselves and post it on the Internet for free.  This, of course, means that Spoofs beget Spoofs.

     Of course, the college version is somewhat better quality…

     But the Anime version is definitely the best…

     All that aside … Another great Family Guy spoof was Peter Griffin’s spoof of M.C. Hammer’s “You Can’t Touch This.”  The implication “You Can’t Touch Peter” was amusing in itself.

     This one sparked a multitude of spoofs, mostly Anime.  This one — mixing Disney, Tron and the Kingdom Hearts 2 video game — hit a few funny nerves.

     But, by far, this version (from the anime series, Trigun) took the cake for its near-flawless synchronization.