Rascal Flatts: My Wish

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xz32I_GbpeU)

Rascal Flatts: Break Away

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0N2Toffr4I)

     Scribbled on the backs of receipts and folded up in my wallet, a text message to myself, calling a friend to send me an e-mail with a few cryptic phrases… That’s how it starts.  And when I look at the words later, I get that feeling again, and I write it all down in its entirety.
     That’s how most of my music has started out… But then I get to the spot where I’m not happy with the music, but the words are still there… 
     And it bothers the shit out of me.  Unfinished songs, some ten years old, sitting there in my brain.  I know every note by heart, know exactly what it’s supposed to sound like, and yet… Just can’t get it out.

     Little bits about sex…

cacophonous, we feed our needs
no reason to abstain
like heroin injected
right through these junkie veins

     A bit of anger and hurt…

when i look into your eyes
what do you think i see?
you strip away my armor
then you damn me when i bleed

     Being apart…

you feel it coming (and coming)
and i know damn well you do
no matter how far you go
i can still feel you

     And True Love…

unworthy of your presence
unabated love
what you give me
is what god is made of

     It all fits together, songs in succession, an opera of sorts… and one of these days maybe I’ll have the patience and drive to actually finish it all…

All bits copyright © 1999-2008 Mark Steel

     There was a little doubt cast about how much my Wildcat means to me.  It was said that I don’t mean what I say, that it’s all a cover, some sort of cruel joke.  That I’m actually some sort of lying bastard who’s running around cheating on her, because apparently that’s the way I’ve always been.
     I was dumbfounded that anyone could actually think such utter and baseless garbage, much less say it.  And I wanna clear up any misconceptions once and for all.

     I want everyone to know why I write very public, very personal things about my Wildcat.

     It is because…

     I want the entire world to know how beautiful she is.

     I want the entire world to know how much she means to me.

     I want the entire world to know how much I Love her.

     I want the entire world to know how special she is.

     She’s the only person who’s ever been able to heal me.

     She’s loved me exactly as I needed to be loved. 

     She’s shown me more happiness than I’ve ever known.

     Anyone who knows us has no doubts of that.

     Hell is being without her.

     Never having her again is something I won’t even imagine.

     She is my Angel, my Inspiration, my Strength.

     My Muse:

unworthy of your presence
unabated love
what you give me
is what god is made of

     She’s been more a wife to me than the one I was married to.

     The family that we have together is more my family than the one I was born into.

     Anyone who tries to get between will be shut out, because she means more to me than anything else in this world.  All the, “Sometimes love isn’t enough,” “Your happiness should not depend on anyone else,” and other such drivel — all from people who don’t know us, together — will be wasted.
     The fact is, she is my best friend, and there is no one more important in my life than her.  I have, and will, cast anyone else aside in favor of her, and I don’t give a damn how long I’ve known them.

     That’s just the way it is.

Lighthouse Family: Question of Faith

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_YSmSVcv7c)

Lighthouse Family: Happy

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YubwXXYcTvs)

     I would challenge anyone else to love each other as wholly and passionately as we love each other.

     I love her.  She makes me happy.

     And that is all that matters.

Paul Simon: American Tune

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AE3kKUEY5WU)

Jim Croce: Time in a Bottle

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILf-54Smv9M)

Nine Inch Nails: The Fragile

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPv3oi-yWO0)

Nine Inch Nails: We’re in this Together

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1Zulx4mjHk)

     One year ago today, this time to the minute, she came and sat down on the bench next to me.  “Are you okay?” she asked.
     “Nervous,” I responded.  I was shaky, worn out from the prior week, and hadn’t slept a wink.
     “Me, too,” she said.  “Let me see your eyes.”
     I looked over my sunglasses.  “Let me see yours.”
     We peered into each others’ souls.

     And that was what began the most terrifying, enlightening and wonderful journey I’ve ever taken.

Rascal Flatts: Here

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saXYgBRas9Y)

     Happy Anniversary, baby.  I love you.

     Several friends have said something similar …

You have to make choices to make YOUR life a happier place
If she wants to join in and bring even more happiness in then great.
But her destructive shit has to stop.
It’s destroying you, my friend.
And that’s all I have to say.

     Problem is … like I told him … I don’t care …

     Some things are worth holding onto.  I met one.  And that’s what I’m gonna do.  Period.  The end.

     And I’d lose friends over this one.  So, fuck ya’ll.

     And if she’d heard that Journey song right after …

     Wow.

The Wildcat and the Volunteer are finally together.

Permanently.

I’m moving to Tennessee!

We really found out who our friends were at Mary Breckinridge Hospital — maybe two or three — and the rest can kiss our asses! In Knoxville, Mark’s friends became better friends than I ever had in Leslie County. When they ask you how you’re doing, they really mean it. And when they say they love you, they really mean it, too.

At this moment, we’re right where we need to be. We’re right where we belong. We’re soulmates. Right where God intended us to be, and nobody can keep us apart.

Mark, I love you with all my heart. I’ve never met anyone who’d fight this hard for me. You proved it… you proved your love. Because you stuck by me when no one else would, you showed things that no one else ever has. Your showed me what true love is.

And for that, all I can do is return that and say, thank you so much. 

Kenny Chesney: Better as Memory

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBgNbSA4WdM)

But he finally met somebody he can’t just be a memory to.

Oh, baby… I love you.

Always.

So to all the ladies before me, thank you for moving over so the Wildcat could move in!

Nine Inch Nails: We’re in This Together

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1Zulx4mjHk)

     I’ll leave the write-up for later.

     Took a little break, and then picked it up again — no pun intended.  That guitar kills my fingers. 

     They bleed … it hurts to type.

     Been working with a new company a little lately, introducing some of my customers and doing a bit of cross-promotion.  I’ve also been working on some experimental car stuff a bit and doing a bit of research. 

     But all in all, not one single bit of it makes me miss my Wildcat any less.