Remember: Beer is proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy.

Monday Melee

1. The Misanthropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.

The obsession with the Great Green Evil… MONEY!  Why must everyone be obsessed with it?  Is it not possible to do without this concept in its entirety and still have a successful society?  Oh well, I suppose I will have to learn to at least live with this in some shape, form or fashion.  (Barring total armageddon or the collapse of society as we know it…  Which I can’t have, I love my computer… It allows me to keep in touch with people who are out of reach.)

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.

I will now offer a tribute to the bogusness of the town I so formerly was a resident of…  Now beyond time and space we shall travel back a few years.  Yes, you have now reached the time of the Wilks Bucks Scandal of Maryville, Tennessee.  Funny how the only newspaper article I could find was from The Oak Ridger and his name was changed. 

Hmm… Something fishy is afoot I do believe.

The Maryville paper quite possibly could have just forgotten about the whole incident for some reason.  What that may or may not be I will never know.  Although it seems kind of unusual for Oak Ridge to have made a report on the topic and no where else in the state.  I was there I knew what happened. 

The moral of this story is: Kiddies think twice before trying to defraud our glorious government because big brother is watching.

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.

I am rather distraught with my total lack of faith in people that are around me.  It’s not necessarily that I don’t trust them.  It falls more along the lines of I seriously question their ability to follow through with things.  After all most people are easily much more easily distracted with things that directly affect their own person.

Secondly, I am let down by the lack of excellent and groovy living in the world.  With this lack of easygoing natural course of living,  life is difficult.  While I realize that for the most part life can be summed up from a quote in The Princess Bride, “Life is pain.” I require myself to think differently. 

Last but not least, on this note can’t we all just f*cking get along.  (I know I used the word f*ck, but when I used it it had more emphasis didn’t it?)   

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.

The rest of the reading world, well hell you made it this far.  Just keep on truckin’.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.

 The mirror broke this week, check back later… (I apologize for the complete lack of interesting and funny dialogue but  I’m just full of sour satire this week…)

On the other hand I did find a six pack of Samuel Adams Cream Stout… Boy is it yummy it really hits the spot.   Also it is great to blog by and as Moe says, “I highly recommend it!”

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.

Visible progress in four key areas (not the armpits, a**hole, crotch and teeth…*): my love life, unfortunate financial situation, extending the arm of friendship my daily grasp, and feeling as if I can’t quite fulfill the requests of friends and family.

* In most civilized communties, these are great places to keep clean. In addition, you can save time if you use the same brush for all four areas.

Thus is the conclusion of my Monday Melee.  You too can join in the fun by visiting The Monday Melee page and completing the steps.  Kick-start your brains on Mondays, meet other bloggers, and by George have a darn good time too.

1. The Misanthtropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.

 I hate that there are some people in this life that take everything that happens to them seriously.  I guess you’d call them drama queens/kings.   These are the people that must have everything revolve around them.  These are the people who keep the shit stirred.  And if they don’t have their own shit stirring, they go and stir some for someone else… just to keep something going at all times. 

People like this need to be bitch-slapped.  Real problems are drama.  Not the fact that your lay of the day, whom you’ve found on an internet dating site, is seeing no less than 4 other people at the same time as you.  This is not drama.  This is poor judgement.

Real life drama is loosing a child.  Real life drama is wondering how you’re gonna pay the rent.  Real life drama is your car breaking down and having no money to fix it.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.

Paris Hilton.  I know it seems like I’m obsessing over her lately.  Maybe I am because I’m bored and have no real life of my own.  Regardless of that, the skank is totally a fake.  Just because she’s locked up in a cage, she’s claiming to have found Jesus.  She told Babs Walters that she’s been reading the Bible and other and a sorted variety of other religion-inspired books. 

First, I’m not so sure that after only 4 days in jail that the girl had time to read AND ABSORB enough information out of the inspired books.  Look, it takes biblical scholars years and years of reading and studying to make heads and/or tails of the Bible.  And she wants to convince all of us common folk that she’s really getting into it and learning something. 

B- Anybody who watches E! News (or Fox or CNN for that matter) has heard about the humongus “Paris is getting out of jail” bash that’s being planned.  Do you think that she’s gonna read enough about Jesus and righteous living that she’s not gonna turn up a bottle and get ripped?   Me either. 

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.

I’m extremely unhappy that I went outside on a scorching hot Sunday afternoon to wash my car.  I did a bang up job too.  I even cleaned the wheels with that crap that can eat the skin off of your hands.   It looked super great!

I went in the house to get a glass of ice water.  When I came back outside 10 minutes later a bird had already shit on the trunk.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.

I give my kids credit today.  After all that he put them through while they were growing up, they still try to treat their dad with some sort of love and respect.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.

I am coming out of “sloth” mode and getting motivated to do something and be somebody again.  Which actually feels really, really good.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.

I think I’ll wish for sex this week.  Sex and days off from work.  Sex, days off from work and a new car.  Sex, days off from work, a new car and to win the lottery. 

Sex, days off from work, a new car, to win the lottery, and lots of beer.  Yah, that would make today alot of fun.  Sex, on my extra day off, in my new car that I got with my winnings from the lottery which was sponsered by a beer company.

Yah, that’s it.

Now it’s your turn.

You can take part in The Monday Melee, even make it a regular feature at your site by visiting The Monday Melee page and following the steps. Kick-start your brain on Mondays and meet other bloggers.

1. The Misanthtropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.

Nouns. Nouns and adjectives. Nouns, adjectives and gerunds. And dangling participles. Dangling participles really piss me off. C’mon man, f*ck, dude and buddy. Don’t make me break out the thesaurus just to get my point across?
Mwahahahahahahaha! Luv me sum Zacque.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.

Nathan Fillian, (Malcolm Reynolds, beloved Captain of Serenity) does NOT wear underwear under his kilt, and I’ll have words with anyone who disputes this self-evident fact.

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.

My psycho-kitty is shedding EVERYWHERE! Couldn’t I just vacuum her coat… just once? Please? … and maybe a little tumble in the dryer?

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.

All Hail to Divalicious! Keep me rolling, Mama.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.

I dunno about good, but it’s honest and accurate. I am a well-spring of unsolicited advice. NE1 gotta cork?

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.

I wish for what everyone wishes for. Love, Mark to get Sex, Money, Mark to get Sex, Fun, Mark to get Sex and a RETURN of really cool prizes at the bottom the Cracker Jacks (you young’uns weren’t around yet when they were really cool prizes, like tiny cap guns and weeny whistles) And we all wish for Mark to get Sex… Zeesh

Now it’s your turn.

You can take part in The Monday Melee, even make it a regular feature at your site by visiting The Monday Melee page and following the steps. Kick-start your brain on Mondays and meet other bloggers.

Yes, I too succumb to peer-pressure.  I’ve thought about doing this since Mark started doing it.  (A very trendy guy he seems to have become.)  I finally have overcome the strong urge not post this at all or wait until Tuesday just to go against the grain.  I now will attempt to woo you with my version, (drum roll please,) of my very own:

Monday Melee

1. The Misanthtropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.

Misuse or overuse of words: like, f*ck, dude, man, buddy and many left unmentioned.  When can we go back to using the words correctly?  Why must we always use euphemistic language to soften the blow?  I say you may not like it but at least you can get the point across.  Besides, life is just too short for that kind of crap.

*close second: OLD NEWS

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.

Beer commercials…  They can’t all be the greatest beer in the world.  There is only room for one beer to have the title.  Unfortunately, I personally don’t think it exists…  I know how I would be if I were a brewer, I’d drink it!!!  This friends, this very occurrence is quite possibly, what may have happened.  A perfect beer probably was created and the brewers got drunk and forgot how to do make it.  To mangle a Tenacious D line, none of this is the greatest beer in the world…  It is just a tribute.

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.

My pants…  I can’t them on or off fast enough and they never stay up when I want them to.  (I don’t want to be an ass to the entire world, nor show it to them either.)

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.

Hats off to the woman who convinced me to move to this strange city…  Unfortunately, I still find it very strange and unfortunately unfamiliar.  Nevertheless, I think I like it.  Maybe if it were covered in chocolate or genitalia it would be more enticing.  Maybe I could convince some of my friends would come and visit too…

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.

My insatiable ability to find new ways to amuse myself…  (No Mark and Diva, I already knew why God gave me two hands.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.

Must I really?  Okay…  Love, Sex, Money, Carie, Steady Work, Sex, Happiness (the spelling needs to change to Happenis, because I’ve never been around anyone for long who wasn’t happy a penis was involved), Sex, Food, Love, Love that comes with food, Carie, my friends to be happy even in my abstinence (oops I meant absence…)

Thus is the conclusion of my Monday Melee.  You too can join in the fun by visiting The Monday Melee page and completing the steps.  Kick-start your brains on Mondays, meet other bloggers, and by George have a darn good time too.

      “I get up, and nothing gets me down… You got it tough?  I’ve seen the toughest around… I and know, baby, just how you feel… You’ve got to roll with the punches to get to what’s real…”

1. The Misanthtropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.

     Most people love to watch train wrecks — you know, those situations that are going to Hell in a handbasket fast?  They enjoy seeing others fail.  That’s a pretty pathetic outlook in my book. 

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.

     That hyper-annoying “Mullah Cimoc“ guy is actually some ‘tard in Utah.  That’s why he got an Asshat of the Day award.

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.

     I have a *lot* of work to do tomorrow — errr, today, rather — and I’m not looking forward to it.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.

     A couple of weeks ago, LissaKay mentioned she had a tatoo.  I figured out where it was last night.  Good job, Lissa!  ROFLMAO

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.

     It’s funny.  People come to me expecting me to give them the answers to Life, the Universe and Everything.  They ask for advice on so many subjects, because they know I’ll listen.  The funny thing is, I very, very rarely give advice — I mean, I can count the number of times on one hand.  There’s an art to asking questions that make people think about the things in a productive manner… and some days, I’m pretty skilled with it.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.

     I wish for what everyone wishes for.  Love, Sex, Money, Sex, Fun, Sex and a really cool prize at the bottom the Cracker Jacks.   And Sex.

Now it’s your turn.

You can take part in The Monday Melee, even make it a regular feature at your site by visiting The Monday Melee page and following the steps. Kick-start your brain on Mondays and meet other bloggers.

     “After midnight, baby … we’re gonna let it all hang out…”

1. The Misanthtropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.

     I hate all the negativity in the world. Seriously, mean, negative people? I hate the bastards. MEAN PEOPLE SUCK! I wish they’d all f&#$ off and die!
  (Yeah, I can’t think of anything I haven’t posted already)

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.

     My previous answer to the “Misanthropic” question is definitely bogus.

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.

     The last three months, on the second of the month, I’ve posted some time-lapse video from a recently discovered artist. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to find anything new that really struck me the same way.
     Well, I did run across one guy … But he was such an arrogant prick, I couldn’t bring myself, in good conscience, to post his work.

     I’ll find something, tho … if I have to do it myself.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.

     My friend Novia was having a pretty rough time.  She started a business a few months ago, and it’s really great to see her succeeding in that, to see her coming out her funk and enjoying herself for a change.  And even though she’s had a lot more things dumped on her plate lately, she’s getting right through it.
     Cheers, girl.  Inspiration and optimism have put you on your way. 

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.

     I remember someone once telling me that I was “too intense.”  I took that as a negative at the time.  But as opportunities have continued themselves, I find that intensity, passion and drive are what push me towards true happiness.
     A lot of people think “risky” is a bad thing, too.  Calculated risks, however, can be very rewarding.  I’m not afraid to take  Leap of Faith on the things that are important, things that actually matter.

     I’m on a damn good road.  And it’ll only get better.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.

     Instead of naming something I wish for, I will state two profound truths:

• It’s only make believe when it’s impossible.
• Everything is possible.

     Of the most important things in my life … I have absolutely no doubts.

Now it’s your turn.

You can take part in The Monday Melee, even make it a regular feature at your site by visiting The Monday Melee page and following the steps. Kick-start your brain on Mondays and meet other bloggers.

     Okay, I suck.  I forgot last week’s Monday Melee.  And then, I forgot it yesterday, too.  I dunno how that happened!  Well, actually, I do, but I’m not telling.  Thpft!
     Meanwhile, I’m gonna sit here jamming out to Etta James some more…

1. The Misanthtropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.

     Some people are just gigantic asshats.  They serve no purpose, other than the be asshats.  I’m sure everyone knows at least one.  The worst types of asshats are the ones who can’t tolerate other asshats in the slightest.  They get all bent out of shape when someone treats them like they treat everyone else around them.
     Makes me wanna slap some sense into ‘em.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.

     Al Gore decided to slam the Media for “trivialities and nonsense” the other day.  He immediately followed up his jab for Media to pick up one of his pet causes — well, actually, the only cause.  Apparently, Mr. Gore feels that United States should pass Global Warming legislation which puts limits on pollution which are lower than our current standards.  What a ‘tard!

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.

     I’m not unhappy.  Really.  ;-)  Gimme a few hours… I figure by 9AM, I’ll have something…

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.

     Umm … Hey, you.  No, not you — that one … Yeah, you … Thanks.

     (No names, no names)

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.

     I heard a rumour that I’m a really nice and generous guy who’s always around to offer a shoulder and a beer.  Yeah, okay, that’s true. 

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.

     Tomorrow night’s Powerball Lottery sure sounds good.  I can think of all sorts of things I could do with those kinds of winnings… First on the list: Disney World again. ;-)

Now it’s your turn.

You can take part in The Monday Melee, even make it a regular feature at your site by visiting The Monday Melee page and following the steps. Kick-start your brain on Mondays and meet other bloggers.

     How can I love you if you won’t lie down?

1. The Misanthtropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.

     When someone has every need provided for them, they tend to get lazy, and unwilling to do anything for themselves.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.

     Al Sharpton.  Does that guy actually do anything besides get people riled up about ridiculous crap?

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.

     Today, I feel like in an eternal cycle “waiting it out.”  Waiting for my house to be ready, waiting for payment for services rendered, waiting for a couple more opportunities, waiting for callbacks on a few different things…

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.

     Thanks to Fracas & Jason for being such good sports and reposting that silly survey the other day. 

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.

     I work hard.  I play hard.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.

     I kinda wish I could put myself on autopilot and jump forward two months in time.  That’d be way cool.

Now it’s your turn.

You can take part in The Monday Melee, even make it a regular feature at your site by visiting The Monday Melee page and following the steps. Kick-start your brain on Mondays and meet other bloggers.

     Thanks for the mammaries…

1. The Misanthtropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.

     Of all the things about humanity in the world, there is one thing that we can all agree upon: mucus is disgusting.  As a matter of fact, beyond the old addage that the only thing we can be certain of is Death and Taxes, I’m sure that Mucus should replace Taxes.  Death and Mucus — it’ll happen to everyone.
     That said, why is that as soon as someone gets a severe case of Mucus Unendus, they immediately say, “You made me sick!” when it clearly could’ve been the ass at the checkout the other day who wouldn’t cover his mouth as he hacked up a lung?

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.

     U-Haul Truck: $19.99.  Insurance: $14.99.  The look on your face when your final bill will come out to an average of $80: Priceless.

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.

     Should I be unhappy that I can’t think of anything that I’m unhappy about?

     No?

     Well, there is one thing … which is a nagging question … “Dammit, why does she have to live so far away?”

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.

     Nick Kougioulis did a helluva good job on this video, combining two of my favorite things:

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.

     I moved last weekend — finally finishing up the other side on Tuesday morning.  Through the week, I helped a friend move.  This past weekend, I helped more friends move.  Today, I helped another friend unload a truck.
     Somehow, I can exert myself like that, and not wake up sore and destroyed the next day.  I guess that means I’m in good shape. 

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.

     Today’s my birthday … I wish the woman in #3 would come for a visit. 

Now it’s your turn.

You can take part in The Monday Melee, even make it a regular feature at your site by visiting The Monday Melee page and following the steps. Kick-start your brain on Mondays and meet other bloggers.

     This post was almost cancelled due to an unexpected case of sleep.

1. The Misanthtropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.

     Gossip sucks.  Seriously.  Who cares what X did, and who cares what Y has to say about it?  And why does Z feel a need to repeat it, especially if they know Y is nothing but a damn gossip?

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.

     Can Offshoring with an Indian company really help your business?
     No… More on that later.

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.

     I was supposed to move into a house on the 20th.  That didn’t happen, because the previous tenants are pigs.  Thanks to all that, I’ve been busting my ass to get moved at the last minute.
     Sadly, I was really counting on that place.  This put me in a position where I had to find something at the very last minute (Saturday) when I’m supposed to be out my current place today.
     Fortunately, thanks to my friends, I found a solution.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.

     Very often, you never know who your true friends are until they’re tested.  Having been put in a rough spot the last few days, I’m glad to know that some of mine passed with flying colors.
     Thanks, Swanky and Jewel.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.

     Everything being so upside down lately has had me a little in-the-dumps.  But yesterday, after getting the worst part of the moving done, I realized something:  Sure, a lot of things haven’t worked out lately, but at the end of the day, I’m still laughing and trying to making the best of it.
     I must be doing something right.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.

     I’ve peeled away a lot of layers and facades in my life the last couple of months … so much so that right now feels like starting over from scratch.
     There are a great many exciting things in my not-too-distant future.  I wish that every single one of them would come into fruition.

Now it’s your turn.

You can take part in The Monday Melee, even make it a regular feature at your site by visiting The Monday Melee page and following the steps. Kick-start your brain on Mondays and meet other bloggers.