Oh, My God! Err, No, Just Bad Personal Hygeine…

March 17th, 2009 at 3:42 am by Mark
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     Apparently, Jesus-Misericordieux on Reunion Island is being flocked by people believing that a miracle has happened, in that the face of Jesus appeared on a Roman Catholic priest’s seat cushion.

     *cough*

     I would expect to find Jesus in the lowest of places…  In the ceiling tile of a seedy hostel, to remind someone of how things “could be.”  Perhaps in the sweat of a beer can, to give hope to the hopeless.

     But is it wrong of me to refuse to believe that he will magically appear under the ass of a hairy, sweaty priest at an aging church in a popular European tourist destination?

     And if the photo here is authentic, I believe that’s one of Johnny Hart’s characters from B.C….

B.C.

Tip: Sam, the absentee blogitude.com writer

Asshats of the Day: American Mainstream Media

October 28th, 2008 at 3:48 pm by Mark
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     Neo-Nazi Skinheads Paul Schlesselman and Daniel Cowert were stupid enough to screw up a perfectly good suicide attempt, but our American Mainstream Media fell for it lock, stock and non-smoking barrel.
     [ Yes, the pun was intended, and kudos if you caught it... ]

     Ya know that gun store those two geniuses were about to rob so they could get the guns to carry out their plan to “die trying” to kill Obama, but instead knew all along they they were actually going to go out in a blaze of glory while wearing white tuxedos and tophats — because they watched Alice in Wonderland using Pink Floyd: The Wall as a soundtrack one too many times when they were stoned?  Or something like that?

     Yeah, well, it didn’t get robbed… because…

     There were dogs

     Can anyone else follow the logic — and take it seriously — where they’re planning a grandiose death as martyrs, but they’re afraid to rob the gun store containing the provisions they need because omfg there are dogs?!?!

     Pure genius.

     So you have to wonder about the intelligence of the Obama Camp and the MSM…

     Come the hell on!

     MSM, get off your lazy butts and investigate!

     Enquiring minds wanna know…

     What kinda dogs were they?!

     They must have been German Shepherds… *cough!*

Suicide Plot Foiled by FBI

October 28th, 2008 at 2:40 am by Mark
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     A few months ago, there were plenty of articles asking, “Is it safe to be Liberal?” because a Unitarian Church got shot up by a nutjob — and member of that same Unitarian Church.

     However, the minute you say you’re Conservative in the least — or point out any common fallacies — the head goes up the ass (that’s what an asshat is) and the ears close on no less than fifty percent of the people around you.  They immediately begin their mind-numbing, chant-like schpiels about how “stupid” GW is (he makes an accidental funny far less than Obama says, “Umm”), about how the war in Iraq is wrong (even though they screamed for ten years, “Save the Kurds!”), how our rights are being taken away every single day (even though the last guy did away with most of them via the 1994 crime bill and line items in many other key bills), how our economy is devastated (while in fact we’re still seeing a stronger stock market and lower inflation than during the Clinton years), and — and here’s the big nasty — that every Republican is a racist (when in fact, most White Supremacist groups are liberal Democrats and card-carrying members of the ACLU).
     And they are zealotous about it…

     Rather, I would ask, “Is it safe to be Conservative these days?”  How could it be, when so many of these people might hang an effigy of a Republican political candidate by a noose?  Or turn into drama queens and call the police on you for voicing your opinion like some people I know
     (I’ll write about that one as soon as court’s over, you have my word!)

     And still, I just can’t figure out why… Why — when two idiot skinheads (Democrats, mind you!), 18 and 20, decide that they’re going to rob a gun store and go out and get themselves killed (their own words!) — is this suddenly turned into an “assination plot against Barack Obama” instead of the suicide mission that they, themselves, expected it to be?

     Thank you, Liberal Media, for yet again going off the deepend and making up stories.  I’ll get to why in a minute…

     These two kids’ so-called plan was to rob a gun store, shoot eighty-eight black men, decapitate eighteen black men, and finally, “die trying” to kill Obama while dressed in White Tuxedos.  Some seriously over-the-top, campy ridiculousness, if you ask me…
     The geniuses were also intelligent enough to chalk Swastikas on their car, for chrissakes. 

     Does the Obama camp really take this suicide plot seriously?

     Well, of course they do…

     Because in the ’90’s when our Republican congressmen were asking for Hate Crime legislation in order to get rid of the growing number of Neo-Nazi Skinheads in our inner cities, they were poo-poo’ed by their Democrat colleagues.  Instead, many of our personal rights to due process and expedience were done away with, and Hate Crime legislation fell by the wayside.
     Thanks to the GW-sponsored Patriot Act — a bipartisan measure, mind you — most of the actions of the White Supremacy asshats fall under the big ol’ guise of “Terrorism” these days.  Kewl!

     But now, Hate Crime legislation is on the table again, and Obama’s all for it.  This little “plot” goes a long way towards validating his cause, too.
     This time, the legislation includes such minor nasties as bitching, complaining and “perceived” threats against pretty much anyone involved in any violent crime.  Let’s say “Joe” is a in a bar, and “Steve” hits Joe.  Joe turns around says, “You stupid friggin’ pollack!” as he hits Steve back.  Steve is from Wisconsin, descended from eastern Europeans, but Joe didn’t know that… So now, Joe’s in danger of going to prison for up to ten years, even in self-defense, because he called Steve a ”pollack.”  Of course, that’s completely up to the discretion of a Washington bureaucrat to make the distinction as to whether or not the State it happened in prosecuted it correctly… And if you asked a Washington bureacrat anything, well… you get the idea.
     It’s a real vote getter, but most people haven’t dug in and taken a look at what these laws actually do… There are already laws for most of this — save taking away peoples’ rights to be scream stupidity during the process — and ear-marking more money and retaining Federal authority to supercede local law enforcement, along with a lot of the other language, makes this some pretty damn problematic legislation.
     And to what end?  What’s the point, besides to get a solid voting base out of a couple of intended target audiences at the inconvenience of everyone else?

     So, hey, get off this “Obama Murder Plot” and let’s call it what it really is:

     Two dumbass kids trying like Hell to get themselves killed.

     “How many skinheads does it take to change a lightbulb?”
     “None… if they bitch loud enough about their right to voice their opinion and that they’re non-violent and don’t have hate in their hearts and the fact that they’re a so-called persecuted race, regardless of facts, the ACLU will do it for them.”
     Pass that Hate Crime legislation, now Skinheads will be protected under codified Law, because if anyone screams, “Screw you, friggin’ Nazi!” while kicking the crap out of the little criminals, they’ll be able to turn that around into a federal crime, too — the “perception” of a Hate Crime Act against the perpetrator of Hate Crimes, in that someone made fun of their supposed German origin.

     Can you say, “Let’s shoot ourselves in the foot!” boys and girls?

     I knew you could…

     I only hope that one of these days, people will wake up and realize that most of the Radicals are on the same side of the fence — they’re just different colors.

     Send them to Guantanamo, dammit!

     That’s what it’s there for!

A Serious Recall — and a Serious Typo

February 17th, 2008 at 6:08 pm by Mark
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     When browsing to my favorite news provider, sometimes I realize a screenshot is worth a million words:

Headline

     I recalled a beer once.  But now I forget…

     So… 

     Should I order the cheeseburger, or the beer?

     On second thought, I’ll skip it. 

     Right now, I can’t afford to pay attention.

A Man and His Bitch

November 16th, 2007 at 1:47 pm by Mark
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     When Diva and Tony tied the knot in September, I couldn’t help but remark at the one photo which really stood out:

Diva & Tony

     “…from the looks of it, Tony is actually able to handle her.”

     But this post has absolutely nothing to do with that.

     Well…

     Other than a wedding.

     Earlier this week in India, a deeply superstitious farmhand was married, as well.  In fact, Mr. P. Selvakumar has finally found his perfect bitch.

Copyright © 2007 Associated Press

     He says he was “cursed” after killing a couple of canines, and hopes this action will help lift it.

     Me, I’ll just sit back and laugh with a Top 10 list:

  1. She’s on his crotch as soon as he walks in the door!
  2. She can smell a rat a mile away!
  3. He really keeps her on a short leash…
  4. When she gets pissed, she’s absolutely rabid!
  5. He’ll be in the dog house for the rest of his life.
  6. Well, isn’t she just the pick of the litter?
  7. Bet they’ll make some beautiful pups.
  8. She lies like a dog!
  9. Wonder if she likes it doggy-style?
  10. Truly, this man knows how to handle his bitch.

     Man, you just can’t make stuff like this up…

Note: Selvakumar Photo Copyright © 2007 Associated Press, All Rights Reserved

He, I Mean She, I mean He… wants what?!?!?!

June 27th, 2007 at 11:09 am by Diva
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So, I’m pretty much sick of thinking and talking about Paris and Lindsey.  I’m over Anna Nicole, her monasery of man whores and her kid. 

Thank God there was something fun in the news today!

This dude, err, chick, err, well I think its still a dude, Robert Kosilek, wants the state of Massachusetts to pay for his sex change surgery.

Um. Yah.  He just isn’t happy being a he and isn’t going to be happy living as a he anymore, dammit!

Whatever.  This asshat killed his wife in 1990 after she dumped hot tea on his testicles.  I’d probably have dumped hot tea on his testicles too, but I would have run for the hills and not looked back.  Apparently she wasn’t that smart and he strangled her.  How I don’t know.  I can only assume that if I had hot tea spill on my nuts, I’d be in the fetal position crying like a baby.

Anyhoo.  So, this guy has been in jail for murder for many moons.  Now, I don’t know about ya’ll, but I am all for swift offing of anybody who is a murderer.  I mean, why are we wasting our tax dollars on feeding and showering these folks?  I am not tolerant of blatent evil or being mean for the sake of it, but I think there are way too many murderers, child molesters, and rapists in prison, living the good life, instead of getting a needle in the vein.

And this jack ass wants the state to pay to remove his penis and give him a vagina?   If they do it, I hope he gets molested by the biggest, baddest man in the prison. 

Any Tom, Harry, or Dick in society would be fighting with a multitude of shrinks to get the sex change, not to mention spending a small fortune on the operation itself.  How in the world could his request even have gotten so far as to have made it into court?  And not only did it make it into the courts, but an obscene amount of money has been spent on mental evaluations of this guy because he keeps threatening suicide.  Good God, let him do it!

Dang, give me the needle or let me have control of the switch, I’ll euthanize him and save the fine tax paying citizens of Mass. a whole lot of money.

Why is this News?

June 25th, 2007 at 11:45 am by Monty
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That’s the question I heard as I picked up my to go order. I thought it deserved saying again.

People get murdered every day.

Why did this particular event become the headline? Why do I care at all about this particular event hundreds of miles from me and unrelated to anyone I know?

Why is this headline news on all the networks? Does anyone ever ask that at the network? Does anyone ever ask if they are hurting or helping both the victims and their families, and the viewers? Does anything but sensationalism and ratings matter?

I really don’t give a shit about these headline stories. They have absolutely nothing to do with me or anyone I remotely know.

News should matter to the viewers. It should have some relationship to their lives. It should not be a slow drive by a crash on the highway.

That’s sick.

Monday, Monday, Monday…

June 18th, 2007 at 8:51 pm by Zacque
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Fracas' Monday Melee

Remember: Beer is proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy.

Monday Melee

1. The Misanthropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.

The obsession with the Great Green Evil… MONEY!  Why must everyone be obsessed with it?  Is it not possible to do without this concept in its entirety and still have a successful society?  Oh well, I suppose I will have to learn to at least live with this in some shape, form or fashion.  (Barring total armageddon or the collapse of society as we know it…  Which I can’t have, I love my computer… It allows me to keep in touch with people who are out of reach.)

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.

I will now offer a tribute to the bogusness of the town I so formerly was a resident of…  Now beyond time and space we shall travel back a few years.  Yes, you have now reached the time of the Wilks Bucks Scandal of Maryville, Tennessee.  Funny how the only newspaper article I could find was from The Oak Ridger and his name was changed. 

Hmm… Something fishy is afoot I do believe.

The Maryville paper quite possibly could have just forgotten about the whole incident for some reason.  What that may or may not be I will never know.  Although it seems kind of unusual for Oak Ridge to have made a report on the topic and no where else in the state.  I was there I knew what happened. 

The moral of this story is: Kiddies think twice before trying to defraud our glorious government because big brother is watching.

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.

I am rather distraught with my total lack of faith in people that are around me.  It’s not necessarily that I don’t trust them.  It falls more along the lines of I seriously question their ability to follow through with things.  After all most people are easily much more easily distracted with things that directly affect their own person.

Secondly, I am let down by the lack of excellent and groovy living in the world.  With this lack of easygoing natural course of living,  life is difficult.  While I realize that for the most part life can be summed up from a quote in The Princess Bride, “Life is pain.” I require myself to think differently. 

Last but not least, on this note can’t we all just f*cking get along.  (I know I used the word f*ck, but when I used it it had more emphasis didn’t it?)   

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.

The rest of the reading world, well hell you made it this far.  Just keep on truckin’.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.

 The mirror broke this week, check back later… (I apologize for the complete lack of interesting and funny dialogue but  I’m just full of sour satire this week…)

On the other hand I did find a six pack of Samuel Adams Cream Stout… Boy is it yummy it really hits the spot.   Also it is great to blog by and as Moe says, “I highly recommend it!”

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.

Visible progress in four key areas (not the armpits, a**hole, crotch and teeth…*): my love life, unfortunate financial situation, extending the arm of friendship my daily grasp, and feeling as if I can’t quite fulfill the requests of friends and family.

* In most civilized communties, these are great places to keep clean. In addition, you can save time if you use the same brush for all four areas.

Thus is the conclusion of my Monday Melee.  You too can join in the fun by visiting The Monday Melee page and completing the steps.  Kick-start your brains on Mondays, meet other bloggers, and by George have a darn good time too.

Combining Some Themes: Art, Technology and BS

June 16th, 2007 at 1:24 am by Mark
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     I had some blogs saved up complaining about a Web 2.0 meme I couldn’t finish (sorry), a Wikipedia Article, and the fact that I couldn’t find a suitable Time Lapse artist on the 2nd … So … Here we go …  

     Web 2.0 is an old concept.  We were using the term back in 1999 at a Web Design studio where I worked at as a lead developer… It had to do with the seperation of form and function, an optimized user experience with nearly seamless transitions from Desktop to Web, and ability to allow clients to manipulate that experience in a way that helped them make sense of the data they were viewing.
     Despite the Wikipedia article which says O’Reilly Media quoted it in 2003, the term’s been around for more than 10 years… Seriously, believing that is like believing Al Gore created teh Internets.
     Also contrary to popular belief (especially to a lot of anti-Microsoft asshats), the first real “Web 2.0″ app was Microsoft’s old Exchange Webmail client — thrown away due to its instability, instead of fixed and re-packaged — which boasted more features than even Roundcube Webmail can get away with now.

     This video, however, has only a little to do with any of that.  Instead, it’s a great piece of artwork which highlights the things that’ve happened over the last ten years and gives us some things to think about as we go through our cultural transitions.

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gmP4nk0EOE)

Tip: Sir Rantzalot, more commonly known as Rantz, who, for all practical purposes appears to be a gentleman and a scholar.  Or something.  heh

True Character

June 8th, 2007 at 8:16 pm by Zacque
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Character is often regarded as a means to judge the quality of a person and their moral values.  I thought about this as a read the blog on the Borat Syndrome when my name was mentioned.  I finally figured out why I love the film so much.  It is a perfect cross-section of the sheer ugliness that make up the moral stature of so many people in our lovely US and A.  I now invite you to watch as the people go and sing along as if it was a Disney Sing-A-Long special.

Surely, with this kind of debauchery and social degradation in the film media, it won’t be long until sex everywhere you look.  Children hate their parents, other races, any sort of work, and their bosses.  The politicians will be crooked. As they try to swindle, cheat and steal not only from the people but from each other as well.  (Not to mention remaining stagnant during their term, so they do not alienate their constituency so they are re-elected.)

While I do think a serious look at the general moral character of the public needs to be addressed, although I am not suggesting overall moral change.  (I want to keep my rights and my firearms.*)  I believe this must be addressed on much more a personal level.  You know, like prayer in school and spirituality when in the public domain, left up to the individual.  The whole point of the “film” is not to anger.  Merely to empower the mind, so our unpleasant qualities can be corrected.  All I am saying is simply if you don’t study history, you are bound to repeat it.

*Do not think advocating stronger gun restrictions will keep people who commit terrorist acts or other crimes from finding guns.