Bad Engrish

October 24th, 2009 at 1:51 am by Mark
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     So in the process of cleaning this blog up, pulling out some fluff and doubling the speed, I ran across a several bits of “extra” code that are a quite a lot less than necessary…

     Can someone please tell what this mean?

… [This plugin] is in the 2.6 version of WordPress after the automatic accession to the revised edition of the journal preservation cause, you modify a log of each, will add a revision, if you modify many times, log on the few speeches, it will be a very frightening number!If you have 100 on the log, your revisiong redundancy may be as many as 1,000 articles!

[This plugin] is the end came, to delete a large number of redundant revision to increase the speed of implementation of the SQL statement, WordPress upgrade the speed there is a lot of benefits!

Thank you for your useing. I hope this will give you convenient plug-ins!

     I has a loss…

     And if you think the Engrish is bad, you should see the math it does…

Now You have 838 posts ,Up to now [this plugin] has deteted 1042 post revision of dedundancy,it’s easy . Wish happy ending !

     Regardless of how many times I run it, 838 != 1042.

As if I Need More Fungus

February 19th, 2009 at 9:25 pm by Mark
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     Tonight, I got a random Yahoo invite from someone I don’t know.  I don’t answer anything from people I don’t know.  Hell, it’s hard enough to get me to answer them from people I do know.
     But the amusing part about this one was that the invite was from someone named “fungal4u” with a bunch of numbers at the end.

     You got it … I won’t even respond to someone named “fun gal 4 u” … But prior to hitting, “Mark as Spam,” I couldn’t help but respond.

     “I don’t talk to fungus.”

     I mean, what a brilliantly thought out name.  Fungal, as in about, or pertaining to, fungus.  

     That struck me as almost as clever as when Experts Exchange had their original domain, “expertsexchange.com” — for those who want the very best Sex Change.  *rolls eyes*

I Having Probrem

February 19th, 2009 at 11:43 am by Mark
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     I do tend to deal with a lot of people who aren’t native English speakers.  A lot of times, I tend to learn their particular pidgins and respond back in kind so that they understand, because sometimes their English skills just aren’t good enough to “get it.”

     Back in ‘95, I had a computer store.  I answered the phone one day to a Taiwanese customer.
     “Herro, Ma’k?  I having probrem.  Have computer, cannot get hard on.”
     *muffled laughter*  “Umm, it won’t turn on?”
     “No, cannot get hard on.”
     *laughter less muffled*  “I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying.  You cannot get a hard on?”
     “Haha, very fun!  No, cannot get hard on.”
     *laughing*  “Umm, that sounds like a personal problem.”  *turns on speaker phone*
     “No, Ma’k, have computer, computer on, no hard on.”
     *laughing hard*  “Are you on the Internet?”
     “No, cannot get hard on!  Come now!”
     *laughing hysterically* “I can send one of the girls over.”
     “You makey joke!  I no get hard on!  Send Robin!  Haha, very fun!”

     Anyway, as it turns out, the computer itself, which he mistakenly called the “hard drive,” would not turn on.  And it was due to bad wiring in the building.  But… Whatever…

     A repeat today, with a similar situation, left me fumbling for words when trying to speak to anyone else.  Typing was, of course, right out.

I taking they making wiper fluid for race cars?
Oh, God.
My English is suffering horrible.
This is what I get for talking to Chinese clients.
My English going Hell to the basket.

     Now I have to do a BIOS update … but can no find froppy dick.

Politically Correct Wordpress?

November 26th, 2008 at 8:23 am by Mark
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     Okay, so I’m browsing software today, and I see this incredible plugin:

blog, new beginnings, new plugin. My latest plugin, the Wordpress Politically Correct plugin, PC plugin for short, is a fitting plugin for today’s 2.0 bloggers. Turning your blog into something your mother would be proud of has never been easier.

Like it’s name suggests, the PC plugin gets rid of all the non PC language on your blog.

     Yep, sure as excrement, it works.  I should maybe use something like that on my Contact form, seeing as how so many of those less than intelligent, copulating extremely ill-mannered people keep sending me the most mean-spirited cow excrement I’ve ever had to copulating read.

What Does Body Language Have to Do With It?

October 13th, 2008 at 11:00 pm by Zacque
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While the History Channel and CBS specials are showing on body language, I would like to offer a video which does not focus on political figures.  Rather it centers on actually reading body language in a much more informal setting.

(tip: Lilith Monkey)

So with this bit of information after watching the History Channel program you might say that during Richard Nixon’s “I Am Not a Crook” speech, his boom boom was unavailable.  Rather he was really trying to say please don’t rape me in my assholes, but if you must please use some lube.