In a surprise move yesterday, July 4th, 2007, 24-year-old Al Gore III proved that he’s more honest than his father, Al Gore, Jr.  Apparently excercising his own form of “independence,” the privileged pothead was pulled over and arrested for driving more than 100mph, and for possession of Marijuana and a number of other drugs… While high…
     The Al Gore, Jr., camp quickly came to the rescue, offering the explanation that the entire thing is a pubilicity stunt to show people that the hybrid-electric Toyota Prius can be driven at excessive speeds, therefore making it a reliable and viable alternative to traditional gasoline-powered combustion engines, all the while getting 55mpg.

     Apparently, Al Gore, Jr., thinks the rest of us are as full of shit as he is.

     It’s also worth noting the fact that a 1981 Subaru 1600DL would get 52mpg, and the 1997 Chevrolet Cavalier with the 1.8 OHC would get 49mpg, without all the excess hybridization… Those are actual mileages from real-time, personal experience.
     Instead of burning a little gas, Al Gore would have us all drive cars which are put together with numerous refined gases and petrochemical products.  This, of course, shows a need for more petrochemical refineries and plastic manufacturing plants, in addition to the astounding increase in global energy usage to manufacture things “a new way.”
     So, ummm, isn’t that certainly worse for emissions than a few more gas-guzzling SUV’s…?  All so that we can add a measly 5-8mpg?
     Am I missing something, or does the math not work?  Shouldn’t we be doing better?

     Can you say Voodoo Economics, boys and girls? 

     I knew you could.

Tip: Les Jones at his new blog, Rock Stars Against Live Earth.

So, I’m pretty much sick of thinking and talking about Paris and Lindsey.  I’m over Anna Nicole, her monasery of man whores and her kid. 

Thank God there was something fun in the news today!

This dude, err, chick, err, well I think its still a dude, Robert Kosilek, wants the state of Massachusetts to pay for his sex change surgery.

Um. Yah.  He just isn’t happy being a he and isn’t going to be happy living as a he anymore, dammit!

Whatever.  This asshat killed his wife in 1990 after she dumped hot tea on his testicles.  I’d probably have dumped hot tea on his testicles too, but I would have run for the hills and not looked back.  Apparently she wasn’t that smart and he strangled her.  How I don’t know.  I can only assume that if I had hot tea spill on my nuts, I’d be in the fetal position crying like a baby.

Anyhoo.  So, this guy has been in jail for murder for many moons.  Now, I don’t know about ya’ll, but I am all for swift offing of anybody who is a murderer.  I mean, why are we wasting our tax dollars on feeding and showering these folks?  I am not tolerant of blatent evil or being mean for the sake of it, but I think there are way too many murderers, child molesters, and rapists in prison, living the good life, instead of getting a needle in the vein.

And this jack ass wants the state to pay to remove his penis and give him a vagina?   If they do it, I hope he gets molested by the biggest, baddest man in the prison. 

Any Tom, Harry, or Dick in society would be fighting with a multitude of shrinks to get the sex change, not to mention spending a small fortune on the operation itself.  How in the world could his request even have gotten so far as to have made it into court?  And not only did it make it into the courts, but an obscene amount of money has been spent on mental evaluations of this guy because he keeps threatening suicide.  Good God, let him do it!

Dang, give me the needle or let me have control of the switch, I’ll euthanize him and save the fine tax paying citizens of Mass. a whole lot of money.

Okay, when I started blogging, I swore to myself and everything that is held Holy, not to say one word about Paris Hilton. I always felt that she was just not worthy of my attention, as she is a complete and utter attention whore to begin with… why humor her.

But, the courtroom activities of the day have made me realize the err of my ways. She is worthy of being a SKANK OF THE DAY.

Seriously. Let’s say Diva was to go out, do a line or ten, go racing off into the sunset in her pretty little chick-mobile doing 100+ miles an hour. Let’s say the PO-PO blue lighted Diva, found her to be under the influence, arrested her, made her go to court, suspended her license to operate even the simplest motor vehicle.

Do you think Diva would have learned her lesson? The answer is yes. Diva does not desire to spend her days locked up in an icky cell with hardened women criminals that say and do scary things to Diva-like creatures.

But the fact that she was stupid enough to get caught is not why she is the SKANK OF THE DAY. No. On the contrary, she made this list because she was stupid enough to get caught a couple more times driving on said suspended license.

Hello?!?! I know you are filthy freakin rich, and most everybody does most everything for you, but, DUH! Are you STUPID enough to believe that you can get away with the same offense multiple times?? Hire a driver, dumbass! Party your ass off all the time!

In all honesty, I don’t think jail time was warranted. It’s not like she was out there drunker than a skunk. No. She was simply tooling around L.A. like the big Paris dawg she is. You know… shopping, Starbucks… those fruitless tasks that she must endure on a daily basis. Ooops!!!

The city of Los Angeles would have been much better off fining the shit out of her every time she blows it. She is worth ga-gillions. Why not take her for a little more each time she gets out and acts like an ass? Why not have someone watching her for fine-able offenses. The City of Los Angeles would have the money to get police support in Watts where they really need it.

But, they did sentence her. And I went all shades of red when I heard they had released her to house arrest. Why? Mental problems with being in a confined, damp, loud, open place? Not able to eat gourmet? Burritos not good enough for her? Was it not enough that she had her sentence reduced and was only going to have to be there for a minute and a half anyway? Honestly, I’m shocked she made it 10 hours before she flipped completely out.

So, this judge decided that she’s an idiot and now our girl Paris is not only doing her sentence, but she’s doing the whole 45 days. Ooops. Off ya go, lass. Screaming and crying isn’t going to do anything for ya now. Off ya go, with those nice deputies over there. I swear… Drama, drama, drama.

Anyway, let us take a moment to run down the list of why Paris Hilton is a MAJOR LEAGUE SKANK:

1. She has that same stupid pose on the red carpet all the time. Head down-tits and ass pushed out. Well, except that time when she crashed on the motorcycle on the red carpet… I must laugh now, excuse me *ROFLMAO*

Sorry, I’m better now.

2. In and out, in and out, in and out of jail. Now do they let anybody else in and out of jail? Why hell no. Mommy’s money just wasn’t good enough this time.

3. The whole being “best friends with Britney” fiasco. Come on now. Britney was semi-skanky, but Paris managed to drag Britney into BIGTIME SKANKDOM. Hello!?!?! Undergarments… look into them.

**Note. What do you wanna bet she wears her panties for the next 45 days.

4. Even Diva is smart enough not to let any questionable materials out in the open. Hello!?!?! Ever heard of a locked, fire-proof box? Keep your junk in the trunk, sister.

Ok, I feel like I am getting a little bit catty here. And I could go on for miles about why I think Paris Hilton deserves the honor of Skank of the Day, but why?

Am I making me feel any better about being me? No, I rock and I don’t need affirmation anyway. Unlike Paris, I’m the bomb even though I’m not build like Barbie and worth my family’s millions.

In closing a few words to Paris:

They’ll give you blankets if you’re cold. Alot of folks survive college on frozen burritos. You won’t starve. It ain’t the Beverly Hilton (pardon the pun), it’s jail. Put on your big girl panties and deal with it.