According to the rules of “Pirate Chicks” (I don’t date and/or do Pirate Chicks) I stay in line.  Mind you, those were my own rules, if for nothing else than to cut down on drama.  I love those girls, and I’ll stand up for any one of them at any time for almost any reason.
     Some conditions do apply — they make their own rules, and can make their own mistakes, and take their own consequences.  But I’d like to think we all know each other well enough that no lines will ever be crossed.  We do what we need to do, and we respect each other enough to step on one anothers’ toes.
     I like that.  It’s friendship.  It’s what we do.
     My Pirate Chicks.
     Cuz I’m possesive like that, and hey, like the Pirate Princess said, I was Pirate enough to Hijack the booty …

We are Mark’s Pirates because he said we are.  He sought out the treasure in true Pirate form and laid claim to the booty.  (In a manner of speaking, of course.  LOL  We all know you don’t date Pirate Chicks, Mark.)   All treasure is not silver & gold, mate.  Some things are better and worth a whole lot more.

     But, there’s this guy, Marty Ray.  He’s the one who brought the whole “Pirate” thing together with an annual Pub Crawl, complete with a designated driver (on a bus, with lots of Jell-O Shooters).
     Thanks, Marty Ray.
     He’s real Karaoke Afficianado.
     It’s not your plain-jane, “Hey, we gonna sang some sheeyit!” Karaoke.  Instead, he plays “popular” music in between, and pretty much keeps the crowd entertained.
     Tonight, I went to one of his shows, propagated by the ass, errrrrrrr, girl, in my Flirting 101 blog… (Ed - Sam: Yeah, that deserves a slap.  Oh, Baby!)

      I had a good time, actually.  I didn’t expect that.

      When I got there tonight at 10PM, the place was a little empty.  A few college kids, not much going on in general.
     But by 11:30PM, there was a line out the door.
     You sit around, being “old,” and just kinda watch for a while.  You have a laugh at the guys “trying” to hit on girls and getting slapped in the face.  You have a laugh at the girls swaggering out the door (even though they’ve been drinking Coca Cola all night) with the object of their affection.
     You have a laugh, basically, at the whole, “Been there, done that, and you are certainly a dumbass!” of it all.
     But I found that every ten minutes or so, some hot young thing would come up and ask me, “What am I drinking?” and I’d tell her how, regardless of that fact that she hates gin, she’d enjoy a Gin & Tonic the way I make them.  I’d instruct the bartender, and she’d love it, and pretty much offer me anything I desired.
     Else, one of them would come up and rub my closely shaven head, and tell me how sexy I am.
     Or, one of them would come up and just ask me, straight out, “Are you going home alone tonight?”

      When you’re old enough to be their father, that kinda crap just seems … weird.  And that’s a good thing.
     Then again … It’s a serious ego-boost to know that I’m still sexy at my age.
       But all in all, it certainly feels good to hear all these young kids singing along to the songs you know.   It also feels good to know that they’re making some of the same dumbass mistakes you made when you were their age.

     For all the stupidity of the night, I had a damn good time.

     I even gained a little faith in the future.
     I mean, at least they’re not fighting each other like we did…
     Maybe they will be a better generation…

     Certainly, they know how to make an “old man” feel pretty damn good by asking him to take them home.

     Especially after they’ve been drinking Coca Cola all night.

     Throughout 1918, civil unrest in Germany was at critical point.  Following the rise of the Bolsheviks in Russia, German workers began a wave of strikes and protest across the country.  On September 29th, the Allies had broken through the Hindenburg Line, and defeat during World War I seemed imminent.

     After suffering numerous defeats, General Eric Ludendorff urged his leaders to sign an armistice with Allied forces.  This did not sit will with newly appointed German Chancellor, Prince Maximillian of Baden, nor with other military leaders.  
     This move temporarily transferred power back to the German Monarchy, however, it was short-lived.

     In the wake of Ludendorff’s resignation, some forty thousand Marines and Sailors defied their orders to attack the British Royal Navy.  After admission by their own officers that it was a suicide mission, they overtook the port at Kiel between October 29th and November 3rd.
     The siege at Kiel added fuel to revolutionaries across Germany, and over the next few days, workers and soldiers began seizing control of major cities, transportation and manufacturing facilities.  Seeing this, Kaiser Wilhelm II abdicated his position as Emperor of the German Empire.  Hours later, Prince Maximillian of Baden abdicated and left Friedrich Ebert of the Social Democratic Party in charge.
     Ebert, well known for being a pro-worker politician, quickly assembled an interim civilian government, and began the arduous task of restoring order in the wake of widespread insurrection.

     At 5:12AM Paris time, November 11th, 1918, in a train carriage in the Compiegne Forest in northern France, a German representative, Matthias Erzberger, signed the Armistice Agreement at the request of Ebert.  Erzberger had been told by telegram to sign the Agreement regardless of Allied demands.
     Telegrams were dispatched, and all hostilities of World War I were to end at on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month in 1918.  It took some six months of negotiations, however, for Germany to sign the Treaty of Versailles on June 28th, 1919.

     On November 11th, 1919, President Woodrow Wilson commemorated Armistice Day, declaring it a legal holiday:

To us in America, the reflections of Armistice Day will be filled with solemn pride in the heroism of those who died in the country’s service and with gratitude for the victory, both because of the thing from which it has freed us and because of the opportunity it has given America to show her sympathy with peace and justice in the councils of the nations…

     Several Congressional resolutions were passed through the years, and finally by 1938, Armistice Day was finally declared a National Holiday.
     In 1953, Kansas Congressman Ed Rees learned about a “Veteran’s Day” celebration on Armistice Day in his town of Emporia, Kansas.  He was so impressed with the idea that he immediately campaigned to other Congressmen, introduced a bill and the Veteran’s Day Act was signed into Law on June 1st, 1954.
     Throughout the years, other laws like the Uniform Holiday Act of 1968, changed the day of observance from November 11th to promote three day weekends.  However, in 1975, President Gerald Ford signed off on Public Law 94-97 (89 Stat. 479), which returned Veteran’s Day to November 11th in 1978.  This preserved the original date set forth for Armistice Day, and gives it a historical tie to help us remember why we celebrate the day.

     The reason that we celebrate this day is to honor those who served — or are serving — this country, in war and peace, and to remember the lives lost.  It’s a day to celebrate all that we’ve gained, all that we’ve earned and be vigilant for those who are serving and those that we’ve lost.

     What amazes me is that in this time of anti-War protesters and cut-and-run Politicians, many schools around the country had day-long celebrations commemorating this day, remembered our troops, and even prayed for them.
     Our newly elected Congress and Senate would do well to keep that fact in mind.

* Photo Credit Susan Shelley, Wicked Wench Photography

     It’s time to bid a fond farewall to a favorite, formerly famous, front-yard fowl.  Alas, the Pink Flamingo is no more, dead at a mere fourty-nine years of age.
     Union Products, of Leominster, Mass., has finally given up production of these unsightly eyesores due to financial problems.

     According to the original article in the South Florida Sun-Sentinel:

Robert Thompson, professor of popular culture at Syracuse University, paid tribute to the infamous bird that has been immortalized everywhere — from the John Waters’ movie Pink Flamingos, to bachelor parties and lawns across America.

“Let’s face it,” he said. “As iconic emblems of kitsch, there are two pillars of cheesy, campiness in the American pantheon. One is the velvet Elvis. The other is the pink flamingo.”

The birth of the plastic pink flamingo in 1957 coincided with the booming interest in Florida, Thompson said, making it possible for those in other parts of the country to have a little piece of the Sunshine State’s mystique in their yard.

By the late ’70s, according to Thompson, the pink flamingo became a symbol of bad taste. It was considered trash culture and embraced by folks with a wise-guy attitude. They knew better (wink, wink) but embraced the iconic symbol anyway.

By the late ’80s and early ’90s, he said we learned to make fun of pop culture items such as the pink flamingo as well as appreciate them.

“The pink flamingo has gone from a piece of the Florida boom and Florida exotica to being a symbol of trash culture to now becoming a combination of all we know — kitsch, history, simplicity and elegance,” Thompson said.

Until recently, Mike Smollon was one of the folks who put the pink flamingo in the kitsch category.

But during a recent trip to Massachusetts, the Boynton Beach firefighter and battalion chief had an epiphany.

After reading a story in the Sentinel & Enterprise (Fitchburg, Mass.) about the closing of the factory, he bought 12 pairs of flamingos.

“I never owned a pink flamingo before,” Smollon said. “To be honest, I used to think this was the kind of a thing only a girl would put in her yard. But when I found out the factory was closing, I thought this is something historical happening.”

Smollon went to the factory and bought 11 sets of pink flamingos and one set of the commemorative gold flamingos that were made for 2007, which would have been the bird’s 50th birthday. He plans to keep a few and give the rest to flamingo-loving friends.

Flamingo fever hit and he searched the Internet for Don Featherstone, the kitchy bird’s creator. When he learned that Featherstone lived only about five minutes from his hotel, he called him and asked if he could come over and get his photograph taken with him.

Not only did Featherstone and his wife, Nancy, come out of the house wearing matching pink shirts adored with green flamingos, the artist autographed two sets of flamingos. Smollon also bought a copy of Featherstone’s book, The Original Pink Flamingos: Splendor on the Grass (Schiffer Publishing, 1999), which he autographed for an extra $5.

After Smollon returned home, he bought a set of pink flamingos from the 1950s for $39 on eBay.

“Now I have one of the first sets made and one of the last sets made,” he said. “I have my own private collection.”

     Of course, it’s lived a full life at only 49, growing from an Annoying Adornment to the King of Kitsch.

     Don’t forget to check out the Mockumentary, “The Pink Flamingo: Ambassador of the American Lawn.”

     Or this one…

     I can remember, back in 1970-something, seeing the first video game console — the Magnavox Odyssey — coming to a twelve or twenty-five inch black and white television near you.
     The fugly, black-white-and-woodgrain behemoth came complete with the most klunky controllers you’ve ever attempted to use.  And talk about GRAPHICS — the included set of plastic overlays attached to the television screen (thus the twelve or twenty-five inch requirement) so you could get COLOR!  But God forbid that your mother used one of those overlays as a placemat during one of your younger sibling’s episodes of projectile-spitting of carrot puree — Why, then you’d never be able to find the secret treasure in the Haunted House!
     That’s right — and we had to walk ten miles to school, in four feet of snow!  Uphill — BOTH WAYS!

     It’s truly magnificent to see how much progress had been made over the last thirty-five years.  Now, we’re seeing video games with completely destructible environments.  If you’re not sure what that means, check out this Video of Crytek’s upcoming game, Crysis:

     Although several other manufacturers have now released PC games with similar features, such as Relic’s Company of Heroes or HD Publishing’s Joint Task Force, Crysis looks like plenty of fun.

     Having a reasonably well-spec’d PC, I tend to stay away from video game consoles and the like, but the Xbox 360 has really pushed the technology envelope — especially if you have a Windows Media Center Edition PC in your home (or even a Windows Vista with Media capability).  In that case, the Xbox 360 not only serves as one of the most advanced video game consoles you can buy, but also acts as a DVD/CD/MP3 Player, DVR and a Media Player for all the music and photos you’ve downloaded onto your PC — maybe even wirelessly if you’re set up for that.  It’s less a video game console, and a more a Digital Convergence appliance, giving you a pretty full range of functionality to complement your home theater.
     The downside is that it’s damned expensive.  Even the old Magnavox Odyssey only retailed for $100, while the Xbox can run you four times that easily.   (Ok, truthfully, that $100 in 1972 was as hard to come by as $2500 these days, but still…)

     Of course, you still have Sony out there trying to beat out the Xbox 360 with their Playstation 3, but seeing as how they’ve had an additional year to release the unit, it won’t be much wonder if they did manage to cram some extra functionality it.  I suppose when it’s released in the second half of November 2006, we’ll know whether or not all the hype was for real.

     And, then, of course, Nintendo is still at it, skipping all the cutting-edge technology and just making a Video Game console that is simply that.  The Nintendo Wii (pronounced “we”) has focused on keeping games “fun” and “playable,” something that seems to be a bit lacking with their more expensive counterparts who’ve focused on cutting edge confusion and overly complex gameplay.
     And their television advertising surely drives that nail home with a sledgehammer:

     Of course, given the choice between Rosie O’Donnel and Paris Hilton, I’d still choose neither…

     Anyone else remember Bernhard “Subway Vigilante” Goetz?

     Back in 1984, he was accosted on a New York subway train by at least three in a group of four black men who intended to rob him (suppose I should give Darrell Cabey the benefit of the doubt, even though he made no attempt to alert Goetz).  Goetz produced a .38 Smith & Wesson and shot all four of them — non-fatally, which wasn’t his intent.
     The subsequent case against Goetz was a huge media event, which quickly engrained itself into American pop culture.  Goetz was eventually acquitted of the crime under New York’s self-defense statutes, although he did serve a few months for having an illegal weapon.
     Some twelve years later in 1996, Darrell Cabey was awarded $43 Million dollars in a successful Civil Suit against Goetz.  Goetz, of course, filed for bankruptcy.

     Even though there are many people who feel Goetz was a racist in using excessive force against his assailants (let’s be honest — that’s what they were), it is widely speculated that this single, highly publicized incident was responsible for the sharp drop in robbery and muggings in 1980’s New York City.

     And why on Earth would I be thinking of Goetz today?

     Blame Captain Ed…

     Two Pratt Institute students were arrested for planting “fake bombs” around the New York City subway, to rage against the machine, to show of the “farce” that is Subway security … just to prove that they could.
     Apparently, umm, they couldn’t.

     What they did prove, however, was that a couple of snivelling, priveledged, caucasian children can stuff newpapers into duffel bags and still be arrested.

     I’ll bet ol’ Bernie Goetz would have made quick work of these asshats. 

     Detractors of the Military, and of War, always come up with a list of reasons why so many people sign up.
     “Inbred rednecks with no future!”
     “Idiots who can’t cut it flipping burgers!”
     “Gung-ho morons who just wanna kill!”

     When I lived in DC, there was a lot of Military bashing going on. It wasn’t uncommon to some moonbat nutjob screaming, “Baby killers!” or knocking down an old lady for not taking an anti-War flyer.
     I’ve never been one to sit idly by and just “watch” that kind of thing happen.

     The overall feeling towards military in Tennessee is a hundred and eighty degrees different.  Being the “Volunteer State,” a lot of people end up signing up for Service, especially given a time of crisis or war.
     Tennesseeans usually don’t sit idly by “watch” things happen.

     It’s a mentality that we learn growing up here.  Talk to your neighbors, random people on the street.  Get involved.  Be a part of something larger than yourself.  There’s no such thing as unbeatable odds when we all work together.

     In catching up with my reading this morning (I’ve been sadly negligent in reading other blogs the last few weeks), I ran across a great article on Blackfive that kinda hit home for me…
     For all the anti-Military complaining going on, I can’t help but wonder if they’d still be running their mouths if they’d had a little bit of that Military structure and discipline.

     Maybe I could’ve used some of that, myself…

     But I’d still’ve ended up kicking that young punk’s butt for knocking down an old lady, so maybe I didn’t turn out so badly in that respect.  Or maybe I just have some respect.

     Swanky blathered a pretty decent post today.

When was the last time anyone you knew was poisoned by a product tampered with in a store? But how many times have you started to squeeze out some mustard or pour some honey and realized you had to open it up and remove the “tamper proof seal?”

“Some sort of terrorist inoculated Tylenol capsules with cyanide in 1982, killing seven people. However, that frightening and much-publicized event (it generated 125,000 stories in the print media alone and cost the manufacturer more than $1 billion) failed to inspire much in the way of imitation.”

     We’ve all complained about the endless child-proofing and tamper-prevention of things…
     But I have no sense of humour today.  I have to take exception, and remember some history.

     Back in the 1970’s, American had gone through two oil embargos on such a grand scale that many of our local gas stations were forced to close.  Electricity prices skyrocketed.  In some areas, water was dangerously close to being rationed.  There were a rash of airline hijackings.  There were hundreds and hundreds of hostage situations.  Our Export program was completely in the toilet.
     In the 1980’s, as hard as things were, a lot of that changed.  We began meddling in the affairs of the Middle East more actively, and have avoided multiple embargoes.  Electricity prices declined as nuclear power and better infrastructure was instated.  The rise in water prices also allowed for better infrastructure.  Airline hijackings dropped as metal detectors became the norm, and we expected no less in other countries.  Nobody dared take hostages any more.  And our exports increased exponentially as our newer “shelf stable,” sealed packaging allowed us to send food and pharmaceuticals to countries we’d never been able to before, regardless of the climate.

     All the complaining we do can’t measure up to the fact that tamper-resistant seals had enough benefits to help the entire country at the expense of minor annoyance.

     But, seeing John Mueller’s article, “A False Sense of Insecurity,” mixed in there and applied just goes to show me how completely uninformed most Americans are.  Especially college kids from OSU who’ve never worked in the real world.
     “Public Hysteria” about terrorism, I feel, is in the public’s best interest.  Americans need to wake the Hell up and realize things were already bad well before 9/11, and well before weird foreign wars that Media will certainly tell us are right-wing conspiracies.  They also need to know what’s coming.

     When I started travelling the world in 1996, the State Department said, “Hey, don’t go to this list of twenty-four countries, because as an American, you may be a victim of terrorism.”
     But by 1998, it had been amended to say, “Don’t travel out of the country.  Nowhere.  You’ll probably be a victim of terrorism, because the rest of the world hate us and has little regard for human life.”
     I’m paraphrasing, of course, but the sentiment is true.

     The really nasty part comes in the fact that 9/11 killed more people than the last thirty years of terrorism combined.  That one day killed more people than the constant border-struggles between Lebanon and Israel.
     Times they are a-changing.  They’re setting their sights higher.

The terrorists have indeed won. No, they didn’t blow us all up. They just made us all so scared of a few dozen guys in the desert that we do all sorts of stupid, costly and annoying things, to ourselves and others. And, I might add, do all these things rather than help out our fellow Americans and humans. Taking money out of positive and helpful pursuits and into all sorts of things that help no one.

     I can remember how people complained about metal detectors in airports back in the 80’s.
     “How is me taking all the loose change out of my pocket going to affect whether some Iranian steals a plane or not?  Why are we wasting all of this money rather than doing something positive with it?”
     Ten years later, people didn’t see it as an inconvenience.  And, of course, flight crimes decreased exponentially.  People were less afraid to fly, and prices dropped drastically.
     Eventually, we stopped seeing it as an inconvenience, and dropped our guard.

     9/11 kinda proved that.  Who would’ve thought a box cutter was a bad thing to have on a plane?  Certainly not the 450 people who died on the planes that day.
     That caused public hysteria.  People were scared as Hell to fly any more.  And so they have a false of security — at least they’re getting back on the planes, giving money to an industry that was failing miserably in the wake of it all.

     The rest of the world hates America.  And it has nothing to do with the current President, politics, foreign policy, or anything else.  It’s simply due to the fact that the majority of the world is Socialist.  People are told what to think, what to buy and where to buy it.  All of their best products are exported out of the countries, while their citizens get to “make due” with whatever scraps and second-hand items are around.
     The only people telling us what to think are Academics (who repeatedly show that they have less experience than idealogy), Media (constantly for fodder to increase their profits) and Politicians (who will lie, cheat and omit to forward their own lust for power).  We can buy most anything we want anywhere we want.  And we get to enjoy the spoils of our efforts in manufacturing -and- trade (think our products suck, being that they’re all from China?  Try buying the same product in another country and you’ll realize — we do get the best of everything!).

     And, c’mon, Swanky, be honest…  When’s the last time you were harrassed and inconvenienced by the guys at the gates? 

     Some two hundred thirty years after the signing of our final draft of the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, 1776, most people have forgotten “why” we shoot off fireworks to celebrate Independence Day.  Most people think that it has to do with the Battle at Fort Henry, and Francis Scott Key’s dramatization of “bombs bursting in air” in our national anthem, The Star Spangled Banner.
     However, the truth is even more simple.

     By 1776, Fireworks had been used at important events for hundreds of years.  In fact, it was John Adams who made them into the tradition which has withstood the test of time.  In a letter to his wife, he wrote:

I believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival… it ought to be celebrated by pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires and illuminations from one end of this continent to the other…

     During the first Independence Day celebration in Philadelphia in 1777, the public reading of the Declaration was complemented by bells, candles, cannons and firecrackers. 
     In succeeding years, celebrations increased, but it was only in 1941 that Congress finally declared Independence Day an official Federal Holiday.  It was probably during that time that the use of Fireworks first became misinterpreted as student textbooks were updated.

     However, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with the sentiment that Fireworks are representative of guns and bombs.  On this day, we should all remember the tyranny this country left behind, and the devastation that followed after the years of war.

     We would do well to remember how our forefathers fought and died in order for us to attain our Freedom, remembering that the road to Freedom was paved with the blood of those who fought for it.
     But we should also remember that this is a day to be celebrated, not mourned.  It is a day to thumb our noses at tyranny.  It is a day to remember that we are one country, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.

     Happy Fourth of July, America.

     Media has reported over and over that the Flag Protection Amendment passed by the House and faces an “uphill battle in the Senate.”  They’ve claimed that this bill seeks to amend the Constitution and ban the burning of the US Flag.
     This is yet another load of horse-puckey by a media who are too stupid and lazy to investigate facts or give fair and balanced opinion about anything.

     Senate Joint Resolution 12 is a very simple, seventeen word statement:

The Congress shall have power to prohibit the physical desecration of the flag of the United States.

     This amendment only gets rid of the Constitutional hurdle which has prevented Congress from passing anti-Flag Burning legislation before.  It doesn’t make anything illegal.
     Senators and Legislators who have come on Television decrying the Resolution simply have not read it.
     There is also a widespread belief that this is a Republican supported bill, which also cannot be further from the truth.  As it stands, it is a purely bipartisan measure, with as many people decrying it on either side of the political fence.

     Basically what we’ve ended up with is yet another bullshit stall tactic, where Congress is attempting to give itself a little more power, and wasting a lot of money and air time, when they’re not actually doing anything.  They’ve just secured their seats, and given themselves the power to debate another hot-button issue, which will most assuredly fail over and over again anyway.

     Swanky pointed out two polarized views about the flag.  Some people see it as a symbol of our Freedom and Democracy.  Others see it as reminder of the people who died to protect our Freedom and Democracy.  It’s both: Thirteen stripes representing the original colonies, alternating White for our innocence and purity and Red for the blood of those fought defending it, and a field of Blue with Stars to represent our fifty states in a night-time constellation.  I don’t foresee myself ever burning a flag.  But it’s good to live in a country that would allow me to do it.

     But… all this talk about Flag Burning is secondary to the real issue.
     This is a test case, where Congress is attempting to remove a legal barrier mandated by the Supreme Court and see if anyone will notice.  If successful, it opens the door for them to do it a few more times for good measure!
     Thus, I am firmly against the Resolution.  I’m firmly against Congress dictating its own power, and have nothing but contempt when they attempt to pass legislation for no other reason than to give themselves more things to do in the future.  It’s a waste of time and money that could be better spent fixing things that are actually wrong.

     I always enjoy listening to stories about peoples’ Military experiences.  Everyone has a few things from their time served that stick out in their mind, whether good or bad.  They always make for interesting footnotes in history, especially where given events were overlooked or misinterpreted several years down the line.

     I’ve always had a special fascination with military aviation, which probably had a lot to do with the fact that my father was a Navy veteran back in the 60’s.  A few years ago, I started helping him build an online community for VF-14 so that he and his friends could keep in touch.
     My father worked on F-4 Phantoms back then.  In the 70’s, they were replaced with the multi-roled F-14 Tomcat.  All in all, the Tomcat was just a cool-looking plane.  It was fast and maneuverable, and sported one of the most versatile payloads the Navy had, allowing it to be a formidable air-to-air fighter on the front lines and an even more formidable surgical bomber when the mission called for it.

     A few years ago, the Navy decided to retire the F-14 Tomcat, opting for the inferior F-18 Hornet, which is not only slower, but has far less payload and flexibility.  That decision has brought a lot of Tomcat-era veterans out of the woodwork, with blogs and photos, reminiscing about the “good ol’ days” of the F-14.
     Of course, there are few stories of chaos and mayhem as well.  On the 18th, Pinch detailed one of those not-so-good days back in November, 1988, complete with flight deck video and photos.  Fortunately, no one was injured.  Still, I can’t help but feel bad seeing that Tomcat with its nose ripped off, and wondering what happened to Hooter because of it…