Paul Simon: American Tune

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AE3kKUEY5WU)

Jim Croce: Time in a Bottle

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILf-54Smv9M)

Sometimes its kind of interesting when I wake up with music stuck in my head.  I think I could get used to it again.  Heck, it beats not wanting to get out of bed.

I would like to think generally I am a happy person.  While I may get upset or distraught, I thought that I smiled quite a bit.

…then a bet was made…

Since then I have a new found source of smiles.  I am full of joy, smiles and deep rooted satisfaction.  You might say I am quite possibly back to being my normal uber-cheery self and happy for no apparent reason.  I need many more days like this to follow.

     Two years ago, a group of women known as “The Pirate Chicks” help pull me out of a bad, bad funk.  Although we don’t keep in touch so well anymore, I still consider ‘em to be like sisters.  They were family when I felt I had none.
     One passed away, and I wrote this bit, and couldn’t ever bring myself to hit Publish.  It always seemed incomplete somehow.  In other ways, I felt it was too harsh.  Besides, I was falling back into the funk again and unwilling to admit it.  Eventually, I found myself unable to follow my own advice, and thought, “How can I drop that in there if I’m unwilling to do it myself?”

     A little later, I met my Wildcat.  Writing kinda took a back seat.  She’s taught me to be more patient (I said more patient, not patient *snicker*).  She showed me how to Love, when I’d always kept just enough distance so that I could save myself at the last second.
     No matter the roller coaster, I’m just glad I’m on it with her.

     Suddenly, today, I got lucid and realized how much outside crap can get in the way of being happy. I read through this, and thought, “Man, I broke my Number One Rule!  Mark, you asshat…”
     Then I laughed. 

     Seems that was the whole point… To Laugh.

     And so, today, I’m gonna ignore that fear of hitting the publish button on a blog that’s been sitting in draft for over a year…

     Enjoy.

     I’ve had some friends going through some pretty rough things, so I’ve been adding to this as I go.  I wanted it to be a small, concise thing, but that’s just not gonna happen. Every time I think I’ve got it all there, there’s a 10% more that someone else will come along with.  Those things give me pause to try and work it in.

     So … on with it. 

     Some people will tell you, “Happiness is hard to find.”  If they have a French accent, it sounds like, “A penis is hard to fine.”  Either way, it’s one of the biggest loads of horse-puckey I’ve ever heard.  Some of this might be hard to hear, but if you’re unhappy, I urge you to give it a try.

1. It is impossible to be objective when you’re being an Asshat.

     Seriously, it is.  If you’re unhappy, and you have your head up your ass, you are lacking a very important vantage point where you can step back from a given situation and look at it practically and logically.
     This can lead to you making, or being led into, some pretty stupid situations which can only serve in prolonging your state of mind. [ Note: and make you feel like you're in a world of shit. Go figure! ]

2. What you feel is not wrong.  What you do with it might be.

     It doesn’t matter if what you’re feeling is anger, hatred, fear, loathing, worry or any of those other “negative” feelings.  They are not negative, and have absolutely no bearing on your happiness.  They’re defense mechanisms, and they’re supposed to be warning you to step back and take a look at a situation from a different point of view.

     Here’s a parable:
     I was sitting in a bar in Waterloo in 1986, and someone brought around the shooters.  Yellow shooters.  This shooter happened to be an intensely sweet, oily liquer made of Bananas.  Not 99. Not 100.  Not 1000.  Ten Thousand Bananas.  That’s what that shit was called.
     It turned my stomach, and I ran to the bathroom and got sick.  Fortunately, I made it to the toilet, didn’t make a mess, or anything else.  Controlled puking.
     After I expelled the offensive liquid, I went back to the table, smiling, and drank the rest of the night.
     But now — I HATE BANANAS.  The flavor of a Banana reminds me of that incident.  It reminds me of some people I was with.  It reminds me of some people not to trust.  And, especially, it reminds me of the rotten disgust that was in my stomach at the time.
     So I have an irrational hatred of Bananas, and probably always will.
     But If I start berating someone who offered me a banana, that’d be pretty freakin’ unhealthy.

     Hate, anger, worry, stress … they’re natural.  If your “religion” tells you they’re bad, then why would God give ‘em to ya to feel?  They’re defense mechanisms, plain and simple.  Basic instinct.  And they can be used to help motivate you.

3. If you lie down with dogs, you’ll get fleas.

     Wallowing in self-pity is the worst thing you can do.  It’s also very selfish and Toxic.  Toxic people will make everyone around them sick — just like fleas.  If you’re a Toxic person, then you should at least have the decency not to spread it to other people.

      If you’re in a situation where a person’s very existence makes you unhappy, then find someone else to hang out with.  That is so simple, it’s ridiculous.

4. If you’re having a bad day, approximately 6 Billion people will not give a damn.

     That’s a hard Truth for a lot of people to swallow.  Noboby, or at least very few people, care whether or not you’re unhappy.  And nobody can make it better, no matter how much they care about you.
     You are alone.  Shut your hole.

5. Your happiness does not depend on anything else but you.

     You can choose to be unhappy and hurt, or you can choose to not give a damn and go on.  Sure, you can be happy to see your family, friends, lovers, bands, celebrities, and so on… but ultimately, you’re the one who chooses to be happy when you see them.  It’s artificial.
     Ponder that thought, where the very sight of someone makes you happy.  Why does it?  Sometimes, you’ll come up with the right answer.

6. Your belief in God cannot make you a happy person.

     Some people will use their belief in God as a springboard to think that they’re better than someone else.  Others will use their Faith to try and pretend to be happy, when in fact, they’re an Unholy mess.  A great majority pray to God to get them out of that mess instead of taking the steps to pick themselves up.
     So let’s get one thing straight: God hates whiners. 
     As it says in the Vedas, “Call on God, but row away from the Rocks.”

9. You control your own destiny.

     One of the biggest mistakes a lot of people make is blaming their circumstances on someone else.  It’s someone else’s fault that the house is a mess.  It’s someone else’s fault you can’t afford a new car.  It’s someone else’s fault that you got drunk last night — she was cute, and you just couldn’t he… nevermind.
     When it comes right down to it, most people will blame their past for the reason they’re not doing what it takes to make things right in the present.  
     Three words:  What.  Ev.  Er.

     If it’s dirty, clean it up.  Budget better.  Put down the friggin’ glass.  It’s easy.

     And if you let your past hold you back from enjoying yourself, it’s time to grow up and take responsibility for your own actions.  Getting all manic because someone said the same thing someone else said twenty years ago is about as out-of-context as you can get.
     The 80’s are over.  Enough with days of the Powder Blue Sport Jacket!
     Oh, and 90’s are over, too.  Are you really that traumatized that Kurt Cobain blew his brains out?

10. Worrying about things you can’t do anything about is futile.

     Even I fall victim to this one, and it’s one of the worst.

     People are dying in some far corner of the world.  Children are starving to death in First World countries.  The Pentagon has its agenda.  Politicians are screwing you over.  And it’s bugging the shit out of you right now that there’s no Seven or Eight in this list.
     And none of this matters one iota to your happiness.

     You have to keep in mind that stressing over things that you have no control or bearing over makes you part of the problem — your bitching and complaining will probably make someone else unhappy, so for chrissakes, just shut up. 

     And refer back to other sections as necessary.

To find out how you too, can participate in The Monday Melee, please read the main Monday Melee page, grab The Monday Melee logo (and view the participant list too).

A step is a stumble forward prevented from becoming a fall by taking another step.

–Bart Green

1. The Magnificent: Name someone you absolutely adore, and tell us why.

     Well she knows who she is. (Sorry guys, this week you’re outta luck.)

2. The Muddy: Tell us something about life you just don’t “get”.

     Political B.S., Martha Stewart, Attorney’s fees, Bad drivers, Kentucky basketball, Tossed Salad, Unhappy campers, Boring girls, Intriguing girls, and Other people.

3. The Magnetic: Name something or someone good (or bad) you’re drawn to and you just can’t help it. Tell us if you want to change this or not.

     Money, I need it. It wants me to spend it. I can’t change that.

4. The Mainstay: Who or what is something you just can’t live without? Why?

     Love. It only takes one to light the whole world on fire.

5. The Masquerade: Tell us something about yourself we wouldn’t already know.

     I feel needed.

6. The Mettle: Tell us about a time you showed courage in yourself, or tell us what you wish you had the courage to do.

     I wish i could actually make a success of my business endeavors. It is an on going struggle but I may make it to move into something else.

Now it’s your turn.

You can take part in The Monday Melee, even make it a regular feature at your site by visiting The Monday Melee page and following the steps. Kick-start your brain on Mondays and meet other bloggers.

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