It’s been a day for stupidity.  Ex’s from all over the globe have psychicly tuned into the fact that I don’t feel very good today.  Phone calls, e-mails, text messages have innundated me since 4AM.  I don’t drunk dial, so listening to the voicemails and reading messages this afternoon has been surprisingly humorous, in an ironic and futile sort of way.

     “You’ve got some serious mental issues,” came across the screen from someone who admittedly has so many issues, so much hurt and pain from past relationships, that she just can’t believe anyone might give a damn about her.  Amazing.

     The only things I’ve gotten, outta loving certain women more than anything else in the world, was a lot of abuse, ridiculous accusations of conspiracy and pain like nothing else.
     Oh, and a drinking problem while trying to deal with it all.

     Today has really made me take note of something I never noticed before.  That’s three women in my life who’ve meant more to me than anything else in world, and they’ve meant more and more each time.  There were no cataclysmic events to bring us together, no circumstances which made for inseperable bonds; they just happened.  They happened at times when I was complacent, together, content and independent.
     But as time drug on, each of them proved themselves to be little more than repressed, emotionally distant and abusive to a ridiculous degree.  Gives a whole new meaning to, “Nice guys finish last.”

     Seriously, all the migraines, bullets, knives, skinheads, lawyers, quack doctors and random assholes in the world couldn’t take me down.  But three women could get through every damned defense I’d built up over the years, and tear fleshy chunks out of my heart as a sacrifice to their “independence.”

     The circle is now complete … The Unholy Trinity is formed … 
     The Mother, the Daughter-in-Law and the Unholy Anagram.
     I never had a good relationship with my mother.  It’s really making me think that maybe there is something to all that Freudian bullshit.  And maybe she was right … for all the love shown to the Unholy Trinity, maybe I really am the Antichrist, like she said.

     So maybe I do have some “serious mental issues” … now … now that I’ve been used, abused and discarded like a three-cycle dryer sheet … cuz I’ve certainly been through the wash a few times with all of them.