“Well, I can feel the heat
from across the room
Ain’t it wild what a little flame
can make you wanna do…”
— Rascal Flatts, “I Melt“

     Ok, so I’ve been remiss in doing the Melee for a while… Here goes:

1. The Misanthtropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.

     Some days, no matter what you do, no matter what you say, you just cannot win. Everybody has those kinds of days, and they suck. Fortunately, there’s tomorrow.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.

     A lot of businesses these days wanna run themselves by doing absolutely nothing but blowing smoke up peoples’ asses. It starts from the top. They blow smoke up a manager’s ass about what they’re attempting to accomplish. The manager blows smoke up the employee’s ass that they’re doing an outstanding job when they have plenty of evidence that that’s not the case. The employees then blow smoke up the customer’s asses: “we attempted to ____ but…” (but didn’t), “we feel that we can offer you ____” (but can’t), “We’re sorry you’re unhappy, is there anything we can do for you?” (but won’t).
     Even worse is the whole “potential employee” category, where Management and Upper Management will blow smoke up the ass of every piece of riff-raff that comes through the door. “Oh, your resume is outstanding!” “Yes, you’re a perfect fit in our organization!” “We’ll get the offer letter out to you by the end of the week!” But it’s all smoke and mirrors.
      Business cannot work this way. This is a bullshit, fuzzy-feeling mentality that does nothing but dash hopes and create a customer base who will quickly become impatient at spending their hard-earned money on pipe dreams while getting absolutely nothing in return.

     The exact opposite of this is the service industry business which focuses purely on “new business” instead of taking some care of their existing clientele. I’ve said it a billion times: “What good is new business if you can’t keep it?” Most “first deals” will not earn a dime. Repetition is where that kind of business earns capital. Customer Service is mandatory to stay in the black.

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.

     I miss my Wildcat.

     Painfully so.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.

     Exactly 52 weeks ago today, Fracas started doing this Monday Melee thing.  Kudos on a year of Monday Melee!

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.

     Some days, I can write.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.

     I found out what “home” is.  I wish I could be there all the time…

Now it’s your turn.

You can take part in The Monday Melee, even make it a regular feature at your site by visiting The Monday Melee page and following the steps. Kick-start your brain on Mondays and meet other bloggers.

Life is short…

So what am I supposed to do about it?

I think the answer can simply be summed up as: live happy, live right, and it will be easy to live your conscience.  Don’t let yourself get stressed out, it’s not worth the effort or the time it takes to do it. 

Praise your sons and daughters, friends and family, co-workers and bosses, when they do something well. If they go against the grain and they do poorly,  don’t be afraid to point out where they made a mistake. In the same token, don’t chastise them while you do it.  They are people too…

I know this is a little hippy for me but life is too short to stay mad and unhappy.  Joke them if they can’t take a…

I make my rounds down  at Blogger’s Landing on a daily basis. 

Here you’ll find all kinds of people.  You find folks who rant and rave, folks who have public service announcements, folks reflecting on life… you name it you’ll find it.  

I recently saw something that has been bugging the piss out of me.  I’m not going to make a daily stop at a particular page anymore because it is a major buzz kill to my joy and happiness factor.  And God knows, I don’t need anybody kicking me out of joy and happiness.  I won’t name any names, that wouldn’t be right.

This is just a public service announcement so that folks will realize that a blog that is used as a platform for a non-stop personal vendetta is extremely boring.

I’m not the victim of the below bunch of bullshit.  I’m not even sure I know who the victim of this blogger is, but I know for a long, long time this has been going on and frankly I’m bored as a monkey with no fucking trees to swing from with it all.  I don’t think I’ll be passing by her blog for tea and crumpets again because her style of writing makes me sad.

It’s a mean nasty person who is constantly stirring up crap with an people by constantly picking old wounds to keep them open.

I totally understand the occassional happening with an ex and it being something interesting or even just something a sister needs to vent about. Or a past ghost comes up and bites a brother in the ass…. makes for interesting reading and is perfectly acceptable. 

But, when someone makes it part of their daily routine to check up on and often write crap about someone, it’s sad.  These kind of people need to get a life.  A real life, not fantasy world. 

Whether whatever happened was right or wrong on either side, enough is enough.  The slamming of another person and constant degradation is boring to say the least.  I don’t think the person I’m referring to bothers to check my shit out, but if they do, I hope they are not infatuated enough with themselves not to realize this is a wake up call.  Knock it off. 

Get a fucking life, or not.  I don’t care either way. I’m a big girl and I can just stay away from your blogs.

     “Dude, you’re like Forrest Gump,” someone told me a few years ago.  “You should write a book!”
     It’s funny… For all my devil-may-care, seat-of-my-pants adventures — all the while incessantly telling people to “Quit planning and do it” — writing it all down was the one thing I never did.  I’ve always toyed with the idea, and even written a few chapters here and there, but never decided to go all out and do it.

     Mushy, on the other hand, did.

     Unfortunately, the plan is also to close up shop at Mushy’s Moochings, which, in a word, blows.  I love that blog, as it reminds me of why I decided to move back to East Tennessee — Mushy presents his various adventures and misadventures, and still manages to come off as “down to earth,” “good people.”  The best thing, of course, is that when you know him, you find that he actually is that person, and someone I’m proud to call a friend.

     Buy the book.  And while you’re at it, be sure and check out his work of fiction, as well.

     And, of course, check out his R-Rated humor blog, The Silverbacks.

     Congrats, Mushy.

     Voice: If you’re always looking at what’s behind you, how will you ever see where you’re going?  Here’s to shrugging off the old and embracing the new without worry, fear or regret.  Change is change … it’s what you make of it that matters.

     I was so dreading Christmas this year, until a few things happened that really gave me a wakeup call.

     Week before last, there was a Christmas party.  It’s been a long time since a reasonable representation of Pirates have been together in my presence.  We were sadly missing a few who had other obligations, especially with it being mid-week and so close to Christmas, but hopefully we can all do something again sooner than later.
     Of course, the Wildcat jumped right in, and came up swimming.  Pirates are loud, Pirates are fun, and she’d already heard too many stories to pass up the opportunity to see us together.  It’s not that I had anything against the Pirates, but I was dead tired and trying to get out of going.  Fortunately, she was there to force me to get up and get out.

     The next week, I faltered quite a bit, myself.  Responsibilities and angst fell pretty heavy on me.  We’ve had more than a few heart-to-hearts over the last week, and she’s really gone out of her way to be with me and help us get through it together.

     Thursday night was Zacque’s combination Birthday and Family Christmas dinner since they’ll all be out of town for the Holidays.  We busted it to get to Knoxville in time, and had an great night out.
     I’d been looking for Zacque’s present for the better part of a year.  That’s just one of the things the Wildcat’s good for — if it hadn’t been for her, I never would have found it, yet, here it was, with days to spare!

     By Friday, it suddenly occurred to the roommate and I that we weren’t going to be able to do anything together for Christmas.  Thus, we decided, at the Zero Hour (which, in this apartment, is 3PM) to go ahead and do Christmas dinner on Saturday so that we could all be together.
     Despite having obligations of her own to attend to, the Wildcat decided to stay a couple of extra days and have our Christmas dinner and gift exchange a few days early.

     From 12PM to 9PM on Saturday, we frantically prepared a Christmas feast suitable for an army — a 13-pound turkey, dressing, mashed potatos, green beans, cole slaw, potato salad, gravy, pecan pie, peanut butter cake, and egg nog.
     We made a short trip to visit old friends down the road, exchanged gifts, hugged each other, and came back to eat.
     And despite being a last minute dash and a crazy amount of cooking in a small kitchen without much space, taking off for forty-five minutes to see friends, and coming back to eat before the cat decided to sniff everything on the counter, it really, really felt like Christmas.  
     I’m happy that the cat doesn’t actually eat human food (just sniffs it), and the Bumpuses don’t live next door with their damn dogs…

     Certainly, I know that there are people who are gonna get left out this year.  They’re not going to hear from me, for various reasons, time constraints and geography.
     I didn’t get Christmas cards out, no mailings whatsoever, and a there were a lot of other things I really meant to get done.  Some people, I just forgot because I’ve been running around like an Asshat trying to get everything done that needed to be done.

     We’re all guilty of putting ourselves under way too much stress during the Holidays.  Whenever you’re stressing that you weren’t able to be where you wanted to be, didn’t find the perfect gift, didn’t have time to get your cards out, there are only two things to remember.

     The first thing is…
     You cannot possibly get to everyone you know and love.  Sometimes all it takes is a thought and a prayer.

     The second and most important thing is…
     Christmas is about Love and Compassion.  Those are the two greatest gifts we can possibly give — or get.

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IjyKEx0pio)

     As for my Wildcat, there is nothing like watching in awe as the woman you love perks up and takes charge, makes executive decisions and gets things done when you’re having nothing short of a crisis.  What she has done for me over the last week has turned this into the best Christmas I’ve ever had. 
     Tomorrow morning, I’ll be heading up to spend the rest of the day with her family and doing the typical things: cooking, exchanging gifts, laughing together.  And I’m excited to spend more time with her, to be around family.

     Merry Christmas, everyone.

     Be safe.

     It’s been a crazy year since last Thanksgiving.  Certainly, an abnormal and unusual amount of “bad stuff” far beyond my control has transpired, as well as a ridiculous amount from my own poor choices.  If I were to sit and reflect on it all, I’d probably end up depressed.

     But…

     Defeats made me savor victories.  Losses made me appreciate what I gained.  Every tear made me laugh even harder.
     For that, I’m thankful.

     Nearly every time I was in need, someone else had it worse.  I did what I could when I could, and the favors were returned in kind.
     For those, I’m thankful.

     The short list of people I consider “family” has grown tremendously longer.  For every loss, three were gained.  Those who were there already have gotten a whole lot closer.  
     For them, I’m thankful.

     As I sit here this morning, anticipating a huge dinner with my Wildcat and her family, I can’t help but reflect that if even one thing had happened differently, I wouldn’t have ended up here.
     For us, I’m thankful.

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTvDDEB5aQQ)

     Sometimes, things happen for a reason.  That’s why it’s important to count your blessings and be thankful for silver linings.

     To all my friends, to all my family, and all of my friends who are family, I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Dr. Tony Lightens the Mood

I’m sure everybody knows that Tony’s mama got really, really, REALLY sick on the day we got married.  It is amazing, incredible even to see Ms. Pat now and how incredibly far she’s come along since that day. Had I known the day we got married, before I walked down the aisle, that she wasn’t there I’d have postponed the whole damn thing again (yah, yah Spanky, you’d have won the bet again).  But I didn’t know until I actually walked up to Tony and they played the first song in the ceremony that she was even sick.

By 4:30 that afternoon, Tony’s brother called and said that Tony needed to come to make Ms. Pat go to the hospital because she was “out of it” and really, really ill.  We made it to Methodist Medical Center, where they quickly found out she had suffered a life threatening aneurysm and needed to be transferred to Univeristy of Tennessee hospital immediately.  They did surgery and it honestly appeared that things weren’t going so well and the outlook was grim.

That was six weeks ago.  Today she is in EXCELLENT shape!  The first thing she got back was her since of humor.  When asked “Mom, how do you feel?”

She’d shoot back, “With my fingers.”

She is breathing and eating without any assistance from machines, which 6 weeks ago she could not have lived without..  Her right side is getting stronger and stronger by the day.  She has improved so much that she has been moved from UT to Patricia Neal Rehab Center where she’s walking with parallel bars and peddlin’ her ass off on the bikes.  GO MS. PAT!

So, we were there to visit her last night.  Tony keeps her laughin all the time, which is what she needs for sure.  Nobody needs to be sad and worried anymore!! She’s made it through the bad stuff already.

We walked into her room and Leacha is sitting on the end of the bed with her.  I took the real chair and Tony got to sit on the portable shitter.

“Damn, mom.” He says.  “If you’re not careful on this thing, you’ll shit on your shoes.”

It’s always so good to see her smile and laugh.

As it turns out, Ms. Pat had found out what all had happened to her in the last six weeks yesterday.  When we got there, Tony’s sis (Leacha) asked his mom to tell him what had happened. 

She looked at Leacha really sad, then over to him still really sad, like she was afraid she’d scare him if she told him.

“He already knows what happened, Mom.  He just wants to hear you tell him so he knows you know what happened.”  Leacha told her.

Ms. Pat looks over at Tony, still worried, “Well, they told me I had a brain aneurysm and that I was real sick.”

“Yah.  You were pretty serious, Mom.” Tony pets her arm.  “You know how that happened don’t you?”  He asked her all serious like.

“No.”  She tells him as we all sit and wait for his professional diagnosis.

“Well, it happens when people hold in their farts.” He explains.  “If ya don’t let it out, then it travels up and causes real problems.”

“That’s your son.”  Leacha tells her.

Ms. Pat laughed to hard to say anything back.

Thank God for Dr. Tony and his warped since of reality.

I’m working on finding my sarcasm again after losing it somewhere between the altar and Germany.  In hindsight, I don’t actually think I ever lost it.  I think somehow it got kicked in the corner, or under my dresser with the dust-bunnies when I started having girl problems.  Nothing like some girl issues to jack one’s system completely up.  None-the-less, I started to feel my sassy self coming back to life.

I’m getting mushy. Yah, I know ya’ll are so used to my general disdain for life and this is coming as a complete shock. But, I’m gonna let ‘r rip while I’m feelin’ it. “In the moment” is how I suppose you’d classify me at this second.

So, I’m at home at 10:40 on a Saturday night. I’m friggin thrilled to be sitting here. This time last week I was doing a toast with a bar full of drunken Germans in Munich (God bless Oktoberfest, ya’ll. Those old boys could drink our old boys up under the table on any given weeknight)….

Anyway. How do I know that Anthony Kidwell loves, ME (Mrs. Diva Kidwell) more than any fat ass kid love a slab of pudding filled cake???

Well, we spent the evening discussing the US census and football and food and all the good things in life.

Then, he asked me about a certain CD — Blue Moon Rising, to name it. So, I popped it in. There is one song on that CD that will bring tears to my eyes every time I hear it. And I pushed play.

My man, in the privacy of our DEN OF LOVE, took my hand and danced with me by candle-light. No one but me and him and a little candle light. He held me so close to him and sang into my ear. My heart did a pitterpat and I couldn’t have felt closer to him than that one single moment. Together, alone, cherishing each other.

That, my friends, is how I know.