From what I’ve seen, this is the only page on the Internet that actually answers this rather popular question, and it’s out there on the ‘net about a million times…

     “How do I get my screensaver to take up the full screen on the A920?”

     If you have a miniSD card with a converter, you can easily size your background image to the perfect resolution of 176×220 (the screen’s natural resolution) on your computer, pop the card in the phone, select the image, assign it as a screensaver and that should make ‘em full screen, right?
     Oh, hell no.  It’s much more convoluted.  You’ll end up with white bars at the top and bottom of the screen, and the vertical res cropped, thus destroying your picture and making your phone’s desktop look like total crap.

     The fix is easy, although convoluted.

     Hit the “Camera” button, then hit “7″ for “Settings & Info.”  Select “3″ for “View Mode” and set it to “Portrait.”  The phone will probably power off at that point, but when it comes back up, the white menu bars at the top and bottom are gone.

     I have no idea why the hell they’d drop it under Camera Settings…

     And, the fact that it crops photos in landscape mode when the vertical size is bloody well larger that the horizontal size is beyond me.

     And, why they insist on calling a background image a screen saver is totally messed up…

     It’s no friggin’ wonder everyone keeps calling their XP background a “screen saver” these days.  *shakes head*

     Quirky, at best.  And for sure, it should be filed under “annoying stuff to piss people off.”

     It’s no big surprise that with the massive proliferation of Cell Phones that SMS Text Messaging has become so popular.  Myself, I set up server alerts to go to my cell phone, and make sure a couple of e-mail boxes get checked so that I don’t miss an important message.
     But a lot of people use it like Instant Messaging.  Sometimes, that can get pretty funny… especially if they have a wrong number.

     The other day, I got the following text message from an unknown number:

Adam.  Can i use your i.pod *peace&love*

     Now, I could have ended it there, but I was in a mood.  I decided to see what happened…

no.  I hate you.

     I couldn’t resist the urge to mess with whoever it was… I was feeling evil… and thus, it continued…

Wtf! *peace&love*

It’S oVEr! Goodbye.

Omg. You are f&#$in retarded.  Whats your deal? *peace&love*

I told you goodbye.  You’re too needy.  I don’t have time for that shit.

Wtf ever *peace&love*

Bitch.

ok. Adam, we are friends. Wtf happened to you. *peace&love*

     I entertained the though of making it worse, but I started to feel bad.

lol ok I confess…. This is not adam.  You have the wrong number.  Sorry, I couldn’t resist playing with your head.   I’m evil like that.

Wow. Lol.  Who is this? *peace&love*

This is Mark from blogitude.com.  I’ll probably write about this, but I promise to leave your number off.

Well what happened was my friend adam, this is his old number *peace&love*

I got that.  Sorry if i upset you.  I just couldn’t resist.
our motto is… If you can’t laugh at yourself, we’ll do it for you.
But I do have a conscience.  I really was playing and didn’t mean to upset you.

You are really weird *peace&love*

yeah i know.  Twisted.  Old.  Sarcastic.  Take care.

     Part of me wonders how far I could have pushed it. But, I decided better of it, given a little episode that happened to me last year.  Good thing I have a conscience.
     Besides, had it not been for that, I wouldn’t've met my Wildcat, either…

     No, not with me, you pervs!

     Watch the videos…

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPl8YsM2AJE)

     All blonde jokes aside, and, speaking of cell phones …

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyplIC9Nb3E)

     In case you don’t know French … “Think before you commit.  Nomad — The mobile without contracts.”

     And, last but not least … Two guys in the locker room …

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4O4f6FKYyc)

     Not sex, you say?  How often do you see someone get totally f#$*ed by a cell phone?!  Well, as opposed to getting f#$*ed by the carrier — that happens all the time…

I was sitting in my office today when a friend of mine sent me a text message on my phone that had little hearts and said “I love you”.  At the bottom it instructed me to send it on to all of my friends.  So, I did.  I sent that bad boy to everybody, including my teenaged boy, who hates that kind of crap.

About 20 minutes later, my phone rang.

“Hola!”  I answered. I have caller ID so I knew it was my boy, Matt.

“Hey!  Guess what!!!!” He said, all giddy and excited like.

“Uh… what?”  I played along.

“My phone’s workin!!!” He exclaimed.

You see my boy has a really bad habit of tossing, flipping, pitching his phone..(along with other various forms of abuse).  About two weeks ago, the phone, in an act of ultimate retribution, just up and quit working.   He could still send and receive text messages, but not talky talky.

“No shit?!?!”  I get giddy with him.  “You mean the phone you called me from works?!?!?”

“Ha. Ha. Ha.”  he retorts. “But I wanted to let you know.”

“Well, very cool, baby. I’m glad its workin.”  I tell him.

And I am genuinely glad it’s working because he’s been on an “I want a new phone” kick for about 2 months now.  So right at this second, he’s thrilled to have one he can speak into and hear from.

Then it hits me that he’s calling from school, because I can hear all the chatter of teenaged boys in the background.  So I ask him,  “Why the hell are you in school?”

“Cuz we’re rednecks and apparently we don’t vote up here.”  He says as serious as can be.

“Did you get my text message?”  I ask him all lovey dovey.

“Yah. Yah.” He says trying to put me off like teenage boys do when they are confronted with the “L” word.

“Well?  Do you love me, dammit?”  I push out of sheer enjoyment knowing he was squirming in front of his buddies.

“Come on, Matthew.  You can say it.”  I prod.

“Oh, God.” He said.  “I gotta go.”

“Fine.  Love you.”  I tell him.  He knows I really do love him.

“Ya. Ya.  Bye.”  He said and hung up.  I’m pretty sure his eyes were rolling in back of his head too. 

I really do love the brat and I’m really super proud of him.  That’s ok. He has to come home sometime.

     Tonight, I’ve had to put up with no less than forty text messages from a specific number.  Since 7PM.  I’m really getting sick of it, especially after coming back to my phone at 11:30PM and finding 14 new messages.

     “Your [sic] a(n) asshole/cheater/loser/liar”
     “Why dont [sic] you want to talk about things”
     “SLIMEBAG CHEATER GO TO HELL”
     “____ was my friend first until you turned them against me”
     “I HOPE YOU GET AIDS AND DIE”

     Mind you, I’ve had a busy night.  I certainly don’t feel I should have to put up with crap like that.  Eventually, I’m gonna respond… asking them to stop sending me this crap, to leave me the Hell alone.
     Like anyone, you press my buttons long enough, I’m gonna respond.  The more you press, the more pissed off I’m gonna get.

     I nailed back three hard —

     “Stop f*#&ing messaging me.”
     “No … f*#& off.”
     “Enough is enough.  Stop it NOW.”

     I’ve been more than patient.  And I certainly don’t expect to start getting BS responses like:

     “Quit texting me!”
     “Leave me the f&$* alone!”

     Some people need to get lives.

     They should start by getting off the Internet a few hours a day…  The real world can be quite … titillating.

I got this cool RAZR v3xx recently. I can plug it right into a USB port on my computer. It tells me in the manual that if I get a memory card, I can transfer video, music and pics onto the phone from my computer. So I got a 1 Gig microSD for $20.

I plugged it in and sure enough, I can browse over to the phone. Yippee! I dropped a couple of tunes over there and a few pics and I am rockin. I’m gonna have a unique tune for all my friends and their pictures.

But, the phone says all the pictures are corrupted and the songs hosed.

I tried logical things like searching the Motorola support site. Did their thing. No good. Tried to exactly match images to the size and dpi of the pictures I took with the phone camera. Nope. Jpeg or gif. Nope. Downloaded a number of free software trials. Nope, nope, nope.

You see, you can indeed put files on your RAZR’s memory card from your computer, the manual does not lie. However, if you want to view those pictures or listen to those tunes with your phone, sorry man.

They want you to download your songs and ringtones for a price. They want you to email the pictures or send them some other wireless way they can charge you for. A nice slow draining.

I am begining to see cellphones as the biggest scam ever perpetrated on humanity. From sites that offer ringtone downloads, but first make you put in your number to back-handedly sign you up for a monthly fee to be added to your bill; to phones that start talking to other phones at will to send them songs and, hey, there is a small fee for the transfer, or, you can get the Googly-Moogly Bandwidth package that lets you send lots of crap from your phone each month for just $19.99 monthly! They went ahead and put this into my new contract without telling me. Thanks dude! And don’t forget the carefully placed extra buttons right next to the dial and hang-up buttons that immediately take you to the Internet and start the slow drip, drip, drip of your money… Oops!

I am a pretty smart guy and technically savvy, and this is clearly not a simple work around. The answer is out there, and I will find it. It’ll probably cost me of course. And if you want me to tell you how to get files from your computer to your RAZR, well, that’ll cost you. I want my cut of the action. Unfortunately, my feeding off of you does not make me young forever, but my kewl ass phone does… as long as I feed the beast…

I needed a new phone and my provider said I could sign a new contract and get a huge savings. I like my Motorola and got one of THOS RAZR PHONS. An MP3 playing device with no headphones. Sure. Makes sense to me. I love music with no bass…

 I am not all up in my phones business. I just require a calendar, alarm clock, phone, you know, the basics. The one bling I gots to havs is mah ringtone. Um, well, it’s the sound of a real Southern Bell Princess rotary from 1978. That’s a sound that will cut through the din of 12 people at Cancun’s drinkin’ $1.99 Margaritas and smoking like Lil Kim never will, beeyatch!

So I went to the iTubernet to find My Precious. Wow. Things have changed in the years since my last phone needed The Tone. The top 10-20 sites that came up on Google don’t sell you ringtones, they are scam sites. They want you to put in your mobile number and they send you a text message. In the small print they tell you that doing so signs you up for a subscription and probably hits you with some one time charge. Yikes!

Apparently selling ringtones is not the way to make money. Scamming idiots into subscriptions is. So, I am here to warn you. Actually, to get you to tell your kids about it. Do not use these damnable sites. Do not enter your mobile number.

My Precious still eludes me. I found the right sound, but the length of the ring and spacing between the rings is all wrong. Defintely not a SB Princess ‘78. If you have a map to My Precious, I’d love to have it. And if you know how to hack my RAZR so I can load it up with free ripped tunez, please show.