When I first saw the book, Wii for Dummies, back in 2008, I thought, “Wow. Steve Jobs has finally succeeded in making the world a technologically illiterate place.” However, this book, Wii Fitness for Dummies, is less than two months old.

Even though the book requires the common sense of Politician to be at all practical, there are apparently people in the world who are unable to grasp such taxing concepts as putting their foot on a big white button.

For those people, I would suggest that they also purchase future “Dummies” titles, including, Using a Power Button for Dummies, Putting Two Feet in Front of the Other for Dummies and Pouring Liquids Into Smaller Containers for Dummies. And, of course, if you enjoy those, perhaps you’ll also enjoy my forthcoming title, Zen in the Art of Wiping Your Own Ass: A Life Primer for Those Who Think Stepping on a Big White Button is Your Key to Personal Fitness..

Related posts:

1. OMFG Book Title Win
2. Stupid Anaheim Ducks Fans Literally Fight Over a Stick
3. Life Sucks!

Posted by Mark for Daily Shite, 2010. | Permalink | 12 comments | Post tags: asshats, books, dummies, fitness, manual, sarcasm, video games, wii

So I came up with this riduculous story about how I kicked the dog and how it was pissing everywhere and barking and what an asshole I am.  The kicker was that I don’t have a dog and that I was at my neighbors house.  Well, after getting through the second sentence I came to realize that only an asshole would find that kind of shit funny.  So what does that make me?  Not this asshole – that’s for sure.

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_KBs3znjWs)

This guy is surely one of the World’s Biggest Asshats…

The smellier the fumes the smaller the load?

Ponderance:  I’ve had a user account on this site for what feels to be like EONS and I now realize that I’ve only really blogged about poo, jiz, asshats, random destruction, and other rants regarding mundane bullshit.  Why hasn’t anyone revoked my rights?  What does this say about the administrator?  Why are we here?  Why do we have to listen to the likes of Barry Manilow?  And most importantly, who is Tom Cruise?

     I notice a great many people aren’t sleeping.  Everyone keeps looking for the elusive Mr. Sandman.  Even Glenn has complained, blaming Hulu for his lack of sleep.  But no one has considered the fact that I may be behind it all.
     As a rather undelightful pair of asshats have already pointed out, I am Pure Evil™.  It’s okay to say that, because I’m used to it.  That fact was always reinforced by my mother, who claims that I am the Antichrist.  Although, I’m pretty sure Revelations 17:4 says what that makes her… 
     And since someone else pointed out that everything is my fault, I figured I might as well come clean for the sake of conspiracy.

     The fact is, I’m holding Mr. Sandman for ransom until my demands are met.

     My demands are simple, and finite.  First, I need Remastered editions of the complete works of Ella Fitzgerald and The Ink Spots.  Second, I need a the Xbox version of Flashpoint: Dragon Rising.  Third, I need safe passage to London, England, where I have some old business to take care of.

     And lastly, if you all ever want to sleep again, one meeeeeeellion dollars.
     *holds pinky to side of mouth*

     Yeah, not buying it?  Me, either.  I’m just not arrogant enough to even pull that kind of shit.

     As usual cake, the Ubermouth saga continues cake with a new twist.

     cake.

     This cake is one of the most screwed up cake comments I’ve ever seen in my life cake.

     cake.

     The comment cake was authored by someone who has cake gone well out of her way to cake cause problems for a couple of us here, and this cake comment of hers was probably cake about as good as an apology as we’ll cake ever get.

     cake.

     Seriously, cake far be it from me cake to poke fun at cake the insane, but it’s pretty cake clear that she’s cake lost the plot.

     cake.

     I’ll bet cake she even thinks cake I’m using trigger words cake to cause her to cake have a psychotic episode cake.

     cake.

     I mean, cake I found the post she was cake talking about, and I didn’t even cake write it.

     cake.

     And nevermind cake it was written on a day cake when two-thirds of the cake country was cooking, and cake most people like desert after their cake meal?

     cake.

     But was apparently cake subliminal.  It was a message cake to Shelly, as dictated by the great and cake powerful Oz, as cake portrayed by another nutjob just outside of cake London, using cake top secret, high level Government technology cake to apparently do something with RSS feeds on an cake infected computer and program people to cake do the the will of cake … of … cake Ubermouth?  *cough* cake

     cake.

     Shelly, dear cake, please adjust your tinfoil hat cake accordingly.

     cake.

     I do not blog about cake.

     cake.

     But I am so craving chocolate cake right now …