In a surprise move yesterday, July 4th, 2007, 24-year-old Al Gore III proved that he’s more honest than his father, Al Gore, Jr.  Apparently excercising his own form of “independence,” the privileged pothead was pulled over and arrested for driving more than 100mph, and for possession of Marijuana and a number of other drugs… While high…
     The Al Gore, Jr., camp quickly came to the rescue, offering the explanation that the entire thing is a pubilicity stunt to show people that the hybrid-electric Toyota Prius can be driven at excessive speeds, therefore making it a reliable and viable alternative to traditional gasoline-powered combustion engines, all the while getting 55mpg.

     Apparently, Al Gore, Jr., thinks the rest of us are as full of shit as he is.

     It’s also worth noting the fact that a 1981 Subaru 1600DL would get 52mpg, and the 1997 Chevrolet Cavalier with the 1.8 OHC would get 49mpg, without all the excess hybridization… Those are actual mileages from real-time, personal experience.
     Instead of burning a little gas, Al Gore would have us all drive cars which are put together with numerous refined gases and petrochemical products.  This, of course, shows a need for more petrochemical refineries and plastic manufacturing plants, in addition to the astounding increase in global energy usage to manufacture things “a new way.”
     So, ummm, isn’t that certainly worse for emissions than a few more gas-guzzling SUV’s…?  All so that we can add a measly 5-8mpg?
     Am I missing something, or does the math not work?  Shouldn’t we be doing better?

     Can you say Voodoo Economics, boys and girls? 

     I knew you could.

Tip: Les Jones at his new blog, Rock Stars Against Live Earth.

     Okay, I suck.  I forgot last week’s Monday Melee.  And then, I forgot it yesterday, too.  I dunno how that happened!  Well, actually, I do, but I’m not telling.  Thpft!
     Meanwhile, I’m gonna sit here jamming out to Etta James some more…

1. The Misanthtropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.

     Some people are just gigantic asshats.  They serve no purpose, other than the be asshats.  I’m sure everyone knows at least one.  The worst types of asshats are the ones who can’t tolerate other asshats in the slightest.  They get all bent out of shape when someone treats them like they treat everyone else around them.
     Makes me wanna slap some sense into ‘em.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.

     Al Gore decided to slam the Media for “trivialities and nonsense” the other day.  He immediately followed up his jab for Media to pick up one of his pet causes — well, actually, the only cause.  Apparently, Mr. Gore feels that United States should pass Global Warming legislation which puts limits on pollution which are lower than our current standards.  What a ‘tard!

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.

     I’m not unhappy.  Really.  ;-)  Gimme a few hours… I figure by 9AM, I’ll have something…

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.

     Umm … Hey, you.  No, not you — that one … Yeah, you … Thanks.

     (No names, no names)

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.

     I heard a rumour that I’m a really nice and generous guy who’s always around to offer a shoulder and a beer.  Yeah, okay, that’s true. 

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.

     Tomorrow night’s Powerball Lottery sure sounds good.  I can think of all sorts of things I could do with those kinds of winnings… First on the list: Disney World again. ;-)

Now it’s your turn.

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