Barack Obama Drinking Game

October 27th, 2008 at 5:29 pm by Mark Steel
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     I’m sure everyone’s heard about the Rachel Ray drinking game, where you take a drink every time she said “EVOO.”  Friggin’ annoying, that.  Emeril only says “BAM!” once per show, WTF can’t she just say her damn trademark word once, too?
     Well, because those of us who’ve played the game wouldn’t get very lit, now would we?  And we have to be lit to put up with how many times she says it during the show…

     But today, I’ve come with a better one, therefore I propose a new drinking game…

     The Barack Obama drinking game.

     Step one, drink a few beers to get it going, because you’re going to drink some nasty swill.

     Step two, grab your favorite bottle of liquor under $15.

     Step three, find any given broadcast or video of Barack Obama on television, radio, YouTube or whatever.

     The rules are simple: every time Obama says, “Umm,” take a drink.

     The last man standing wins.

     Of course, at the rate he says “Umm,” it should be a short game…

     Here’s a short clip to get you started!

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iivL4c_3pck)

     Abd ify ou passeed out, I win!!!! Im’ the kign ofteh woirld!

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Hancock Sure Was a Letdown

October 27th, 2008 at 2:32 am by Mark Steel
Tags: , , , ,

     Maybe I expected a little too much from Will Smith’s so-called “summer blockbuster,” Hancock.

     I felt cheated … It sucked.

     Just to make sure, I watched it again tonight.

     Sure enough, it still sucked.

     *shakes head*

     Although, we did get to see a White South African (Charlize Theron) kiss a Black Man…

     That’s something ya don’t see every day… *shakes head*

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Comment Avatars

October 27th, 2008 at 1:57 am by Mark Steel
Tags: , , , ,

     A few people have asked where the comment avatars went lately …

     Well, the old suggestion was, “Sign up for MyBlogLog and it’ll pull them from there,” but Yahoo screwed that up recently.

     The best suggestion now is to go to Gravatar and sign up … you can even add multiple e-mail addresses, each with its own picture if you like, to your primary account.

     So check it out … It’ll work automagically on thousands of Wordpress-based sites out there, as well as a lot of other places you might not expect…

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I Don’t Smoke Weed, But I’d Buy This Shirt

October 26th, 2008 at 4:20 am by Mark Steel
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     Now, I don’t smoke weed, and this isn’t against our Military personnel…

     But this t-shirt right here I found funny as Hell…

     (Ooh, I’m a poet, and didn’t know it)

     The fact that the image is 420×420 is purely coincidental.

     So’s the fact that’s about 4:20 right now…

     Seriously, I don’t smoke weed.

     I’m allergic.

     Bad.

     Just buy the damn shirt, already.

Image Copyright © 2008 T-Shirt Hell

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Apathy Sucks

October 25th, 2008 at 12:02 am by Mark Steel
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     Apathy sucks.

     I’d start a campaign against apathy, but my give a damn is broken.

     Just look at these people…

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfqDVP_0O0c)

     And me, I’m not even disgusted…

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Asshat of the Day: The Owner of Rhino Linings of Knoxville and Mr. Transmission #337

October 23rd, 2008 at 8:39 pm by Zacque Hitchcock
Tags: , , , , ,

[ Originally posted as a blog on September 30th, but removed. Then Mark posted his about same John Nichols guy earlier this week. ]

It has come to my attention that some business or business owners rather are not worth fooling with. The owner of two such companies is one of those people. He cannot seem to pay for things he requested like the registration and hosting of a Catalyst X project, KnoxRhino.com, nor can he seem to honor the arrangement set up my one of his employees so they could have a photographic record of the work they produce in the shop.

Personally, I think I should have realized this earlier, by the way he treats his own son. On numerous occasions I have seen him demeaned. If I have seen it, the customers of these companies must have seen it. The following is an excerpt of electronic communication between the two of them, showing the true colors of this business owner:

I want to address several additional issues with you since we have not been able to sit down and have a conversation.

which was followed retorted with:

You say that I don’t trust you. The fact is you are correct and here are the reasons why:

This is a great way to start an e-mail to an employee… NOT! If you don’t trust them, why when Tennessee has an 8% unemployment rate would you hire them in the first place? In addition this employee/employer correspondence is between a father and son. I thought the only father and son e-mails like this exist only in Mark’s life. This is also unacceptable.

To top it all off, this man decided to string Mark and I along for several months.

In a meeting in his office at 6336 Clinton Highway, the site of the Mr. Transmission #337, Mr. Nichols requested services and quotes for said services. They were then promptly stated and followed up by e-mail. The first of these was regarding the hosting of www.knoxrhino.com, the “proof” he requested in order to demonstrate the abilities of Catalyst X. After he was billed, he refused to pay, even though he requested these things to be done saying to in a reply to his son “You do not have the authority to have this done.” This was only done per the owner’s request and registered under the son’s name and e-mail address for contact.

The second e-mail was regarding the graphic design for business cards and other marketing materials. Although the owner did not request it, a follow-up e-mail was sent since I had not received a response in a few months. Following this e-mail were several on-sites to discuss the design and an additional e-mail. Three weeks afterwards I received a forwarded e-mail from the son again requesting these quotes.

So after that I called this man. I said, “Owner, how many times must I send you a quote? I have sent this in e-mail twice and visited you multiple times.” It was as if this fell on deaf ears. Today I get a phone call from the son. The son says, “Dad says you shot yourself in the foot. You forgot your place since he is the customer.” I am sorry but over a six month time period and multiple quotes, if you don’t want my services, tell me. Most of all DO NOT slander my name in front of one of my best customers, your son. This is the kind of thing lawsuits are made of.

In conclusion, Mark, his son, and I do not seem to be the only ones who have problems with this man. It turns out the Better Business Bureau and several customers do as well. So if you would like an alternative to Transmission and Car Repair, please feel free to contact me at the blog. For truck bed linings or any other service that might require a polyurethane covering let me suggest Line X of Knoxville.

Good luck with your endeavors Mr. Business Owner.

I hope that some day soon you can be taken off the list of asshats, but until then I raise my glass to toast you.

Shortly after turning my own ass to fart in your general direction.

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Sorry, but Ghostbusters is Still a Classic

October 22nd, 2008 at 12:26 am by Mark Steel
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     It’s about that time.  Halloween… and what seems to be the family Halloween movie classic these days?

     Ghostbusters.

     Sure, some people are sick of it, but c’mon… When’s the last time you watched it on DVD?

     In what may be Bill Murray’s most sarcastic role ever, Dr. Peter Venkman goes down as a classic character in movie history.  His pointed retorts, grandiose embellishments and perfect comedic timing truly made this one of the best comedies of the 80’s. 
     There is no pretense with this movie.  It is what is.  Fortunately, the Murray/Aykroyd/Ramis trio played off of each other — not to mention everyone else — perfectly, delivering some truly classic lines and insults.

     “I make it a rule: never get involved with possessed people… ahh, actually, it’s more of a guideline than a rule…”

     “No, I think you’ve got enough people in there already.”

     “No, we’re exterminators. Someone saw a cockroach up on twelve.”

     “Listen! You smell something?”

     “We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!”

     And lastly, my personal favorite…

     “Everything was fine until dickless here…”
     “They caused an explosion!”
     “…came and shut down the power grid.”
     ”Is this true, Venkman?”
     “Yes, sir, it’s true.  This man has no dick.”

     Now, the TV version of Ghostbusters?  Sure, it sucks… But I’d still rather watch it than that sullen, little, bald malcontent in the orange sweater who can’t kick a football every friggin’ year…

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pHVtaS0jHo)

    Hey, sue me… Just because it’s blasphemous doesn’t mean it’s not funny…

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Asshat of the Day: John Nichols of Mr. Transmission

October 21st, 2008 at 2:28 am by Mark Steel
Tags: , , , , , ,

     This John Nichols guy is a special kind of asshat.  His misdeeds span across a mutitude of levels, and a couple of different companies, namely his Mr. Transmission business (aka Mr. Transerv 100, Inc. dba Mr. Transmission / MILEX) & Rhino Linings of Knoxville.  Knowing that another friend of mine, a photographer, has been repeatedly screwed by this, and knowing that in his Rhino Linings business he tried to screw me out of the hosting bill, I have no idea why I thought doing any sort of business with this asshat was a good idea.
     Except that I need the business these days…

     I know at least one person who works for Mr. Transmission on Clinton Highway in Knoxville, and so I dropped by last week to see if they could get the rusted clamp off my muffler since I didn’t have a die grinder or a dremel handy, and I knew they did.  But when I walked into the office, John Nichols son, Scott, said, “There it is.”
     “What’s going on?”
     “That computer is all screwed up.  Please fix it!” said Scott.
     “What’s it doing?”
     “It’s really slow, and its taking forever just to enter an invoice,” Mike replied.  “So please do.”
     “Ok,” I agreed.  After the last billing fiasco, where John repeatedly blames Scott, he’d told me that if he wasn’t there, Mike was in charge.  Mike authorized me to the computer, and so I went to work.

     I removed several viruses, several bit of spyware, several trojans, a fake antivirus program, and did all the updates.  During one of the updates, I asked them about the muffler.  Fifteen seconds with a grinder, five seconds with a hammer, and the rusted clamp was off.  They offered to put it on for me if I’d grab the parts.  I took off just down the road and grab a couple of muffler clamps and a 2.25 I/D converter.  That took fifteen minutes, but it was also during the time the system was doing a an antivirus and antispyware scan.  When I got back, they said, they removed the old pipe from the muffler, threw the converter in, clamped it all down and tightened it all up.  A whole fiften minute job.  Couldda done it myself, but I figured I’d take the price outta their bill.

     Once the computer was was finished, and I was satisfied that everything was in proper working order, I started writing up the final bill.
     “Hey, Mike?  How much do I owe ya for the muffler?”
     “Ahh, man, that was nothing.  Don’t worry about it, you don’t owe us anything for that,” he replied.

     I tallied…

Service (Onsite) - 10/15/2008
[systemname] Not Working - System slow and uncooperative
Infected W32.Magistr, W32.Backdoor.Gen, W32.Sality (not AA), W32.SDbot.ETA. Malware/Trojan ScreenView, HexBinAdWare, Virtumundo.Gen(Smitfraud). All Removed Manually, then re-scanned with Windows Defender & Spybot 1.6. Re-Enabled Regedit & Task Manager. Removed Damaged Malware / Fake Antivirus (Antivirus). Removed Damaged/non-working antivirus (Symantec Antivirus 2004). Removed Fake AntiSpyware (Spyware Blaster, RemedyAntispy). Software Updates installed (XPSP3, All Windows Updates, Spybot 1.6, Adobe Acrobat 9, Codec Pack)

     Two hours, at $125 an hour — that’s what I’ve charged for years.  $250 seemed steep given the assistance with the muffler.  And for that trouble, which Mike claimed I “didn’t owe anything” for since they ‘didn’t provide any parts” or “have to do any major surgery,” I knocked a half hour off and gave them a final bill of $187.50.

     On Friday, October 17th, John Nichols called me up cussing me out, telling me that he had already told me that his son, Scott, was not authorized to make decisions for his business.  I told him Mike authorized it, and John began screaming that Mike wasn’t authorized, that every bit of business we did had to go through him, and he wasn’t going to pay.  I cussed the guy up one side and down the other for calling and yelling at me and cussing me out.  He’s a lousy piece of shit that way.
     I printed out the bill, and at 2PM, I went over there.  I recorded the conversation for posterity.  John says he’s not paying, and that we’re even since they installed a muffler.  And that he was the only one to authorize any work or bills.
     I told him that he had said in his absence he had authorized Mike to make those decisions, and in a moment of severe WIMP-ASS, Mike tells me, “No, I didn’t authorize it.”
     And so, Mike, too, is a damn liar.  He didn’t authorize it?  He just told me what was wrong with it for the plain hell of it, and said, “See what you can do?”  And didn’t charge me for a muffler job, said that I didn’t owe anything?  Cool.  Mike’s won’t stand up to John.
     “Well, tell ya what, I either get a check, or you get a warrant.”  And I left.  And I was pissed.

     Ya see, that’s where our first fiasco happened.  Back a few months ago, John himself asked me to register their Rhino Linings domain and put up a splash page, offer e-mail, and prove to him that I could do SEO.  I offered to do that for him on the basis that he paid for the domain, $25 a month in hosting and agreed that we would do the final website in a content management system for around $2500.  He agreed, but his bill got up to $103.75 at the beginning of October because he hadn’t bother to pay for any of it.  I subsequently pointed the domain at this site for a couple of days for non-payment.
     On October 6th, he called me up screaming that his son had no authorization to setup that site, and I screamed right back at him that his friggin’ idea, and then went and picked up my check for $103.75.  He was apologetic, didn’t remember the deal we’d made (right), and told me then that if he wasn’t there, Mike was the only one who had any authority for any business we would do, that his son Scott would have no say whatsoever.  And that’s fine, I agreed, and he agreed to retain the website for an additional year at $25/mo., and eventually use us to build the final site at $2500.

     Now, this Scott thing is kinda pertinent, because this asshole goes off on Scott every second when I’m around, and I’m sure it doesn’t stop when I’m not.  He’s a beligerant asshole to his son, seeking to mock and belittle him in front of customers, other businesses, friends, etc.  John Nichols is a total piece of work… if you can call it that.

     It’s no surprise, of course, that earlier today, I received a bill from Mr. TranServ 100, Inc., dba Mr. Transmission / MILEX, owner, John Nichols.
     For work completed on 10/17/2008.  On a 1991 Oldsmobile Cutlass Calais. 

Shop Supplies, $3.51
Hazardous Materials, $3.99
Install Muffler, $187.50
Sales Tax, $18.40
Total: $213:40

     Sorry, WHAT THE FUCK?  That won’t even stand up in court.  No work was performed on my vehicle on 10/17/2008, which is clearly printed on the invoice.  I do not own, nor do I know anyone who does own, a 1991 Oldsmobile Cutlass Calais.  No parts were supplied, hazardous materials handled, or mufflers installed — however, on 10/16/2008, on an entirely different car, a muffler converter was installed because the pipe had rusted through, and the job took 15 minutes, and Mike assured me that I owed nothing for that.  And I removed a half hour from their bill?

     John Nichols clearly wrote this invoice to avoid paying his bill.  I mean, CLEARLY — who the Hell charges $213.40 to install a muffler that wasn’t purchased there and no parts were purchased for? 

     Only you, John.

     You think this is over, you are sadly mistaken.  I consider this a breach of our contract.

     See ya in court, deadbeat!

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Fix: Samsung SPH-A920 / MM-A920 Fullscreen Backgrounds

October 20th, 2008 at 3:50 am by Mark Steel
Tags: , , , ,

     From what I’ve seen, this is the only page on the Internet that actually answers this rather popular question, and it’s out there on the ‘net about a million times…

     “How do I get my screensaver to take up the full screen on the A920?”

     If you have a miniSD card with a converter, you can easily size your background image to the perfect resolution of 176×220 (the screen’s natural resolution) on your computer, pop the card in the phone, select the image, assign it as a screensaver and that should make ‘em full screen, right?
     Oh, hell no.  It’s much more convoluted.  You’ll end up with white bars at the top and bottom of the screen, and the vertical res cropped, thus destroying your picture and making your phone’s desktop look like total crap.

     The fix is easy, although convoluted.

     Hit the “Camera” button, then hit “7″ for “Settings & Info.”  Select “3″ for “View Mode” and set it to “Portrait.”  The phone will probably power off at that point, but when it comes back up, the white menu bars at the top and bottom are gone.

     I have no idea why the hell they’d drop it under Camera Settings…

     And, the fact that it crops photos in landscape mode when the vertical size is bloody well larger that the horizontal size is beyond me.

     And, why they insist on calling a background image a screen saver is totally messed up…

     It’s no friggin’ wonder everyone keeps calling their XP background a “screen saver” these days.  *shakes head*

     Quirky, at best.  And for sure, it should be filed under “annoying stuff to piss people off.”

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To All the Asshats

October 17th, 2008 at 8:08 pm by Mark Steel
Tags: , , ,

REO Speedwagon: Smilin’ in the End

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niTL-DIcrY4)

     I have a good post about a local “businessman” but I’m gonna wait til Monday for his dumb ass to make it right.

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