Yeah, what really happened, S.?   Why?  How long had she been drinking?  What shit was coming out of her mouth?  Oh, I’m sorry — you don’t wanna grow up like that?  Do you think anybody wanted that?  Do you think I wanted you to see that?  And WHO did WHAT after that?

     Yeah, sweets.  Wake the fuck up.

     Yeah, I threw her beer back in her face.  Not the glass, not the bottle, like dear ol’ dad.  No, the rest of the cup she put down on the counter — after she’d already covered my face with it — went back on her.  And you remember what happened that led up to that, and even still, I hugged her.  And then, Ms. S, you started crying like it was the worst thing in the world.   Because, well, some got on you, didn’t it, when she thrashed it on you? 

     But you still got what you wanted, huh?  More attention when you were afraid she’d leave? 

     Problem is, S., I’d already offered you could live with us wherever we were.  Like you did there … And your brother, J. … Did either of you ever ask or give me so much as a thank you for using me like you did?  Because — you weren’t kids anyway, were you? 
     But I damn sure love you like you were.  And I did my best to give you whatever you needed.   Hell, J. had a good job.  I only made half again as much as your mom… and you both treated me as a benefactor …
     Above and beyond what your dad ever did, mind you… He always expected something in return, didn’t he, because that’s why you came to live with me?

     “S. is the reason I’ll never…” she told me.

     So what was the reason for all the other shit that led up to that, S.?  Do you remember?  I told her — “Baby, I’m afraid you’re an alcoholic.”
     Looking for that escape … by any means …
     And what’d you say when I told her that, S.?
     ”Shut the fuck up, Mark!”
     But you knew I was right.  And you knew she was right, too.  Just like with London boy, S. … We wouldn’t tell you what to do, because you were over eighteen.  But yeah, we tried to discourage because we didn’t wanna see you in the same situation as your mom, trying to escape so badly that you’d fall into the same trap… With the same kind of asshole…

     So, yeah, I wanted to check on ya last night.

     “Hey, baby.”
     “Who is this?”
     “S.?  Is that you?”
     “Yeah, but why the fuck are you calling here?”
     “Because I think it’s time you all started telling the truth.  And just remember, S, I do love you.”
     “Fuck you motherfucker!  How dare you call this number!  I’ll call the law on you!”
     “Oh, baby girl, you go right ahead.”

     I attempted a similar phone call, much earlier, with J.  And, as usual, he threatened to put a bullet in my head.  Just like he did his own mother, leading to her freaking out so badly…. And he still hasn’t done it, of course.  As a matter of fact, he cowered — much like his father — when I walked to him and asked why he said such a thing.

     Conversation could help. 

     You all wanna keep lying to each other … You go right ahead.

     So why’d she have to call me up and tell me I was a grandfather back in October?  Or in January to tell me that she was coming home?  Or keep asking me to send her money?  She never would take it when I offered to bring it to her, though.
     You have to wonder why, huh?

     When you look in your own hearts and find a nasty, black mess… I’m pretty sure you know who made that.  And kids … It wasn’t me.  Nor her.
     You all just … let it happen.  Again.

     Because it was what you were used to.

     So how much truth do you want, kids?  Because in my book, you know quite too much on your own.  But for my part — Oh, the things I could show you. 
     You gotta remember, and wake up, that I wasn’t the blame for her problems.  She was already had them, and I tried to get her out the damn situation.  You all just needed a scapegoat, and I guess I seemed like a good one at the time.  Maybe J. and D. remember a lot of those problems from before — and I hope not so much.

     So, D, if you have any balls and any soul — you better raise that kid somewhere else.  I wanna see that grandkid grow up a lot better… And I wanna know it won’t grow up in that hellhole.
     You know what that means, D.   And you know it’s the dead-honest truth, too.

     Whether any of you like it or not, you very actively contributed to that state of things.  But I’d spare you — and condemn everyone around you — because you never had a sense of community.  All those people who kept saying they loved and cared never did a damn thing to stop what was going on, did they?
     I’m told I was the only one to ever try and make it stop.  I only wish I’d been stronger at the time.

     But I still love you.  I question why a lot, but I do.

     As for your mom…

     Goodbye, Baby.  I do love you, very much.  But I’m done.  I’ve had enough bullshit.  I didn’t give up in September… I just stopped fighting back for a change. 
     I look at the scar I got for that … every day … Oh, but you haven’t seen that yet, have you?  Funny thing … You missed all of that, and everything that preceeded it.

     Because, baby, if you’d loved me like you say when you call … you might’ve actually been here.

     It really is time you all started telling the truth for a change.

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     Nevermind… I’m just sayin’…

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Aren’t you glad I go to class?

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     The truth is, we here at blogitude.com feel that testosterone-laden innuendo should never be mixed with feminine hygeine products, or the body parts that the afforementioned products are used on.  Especially not when it’s Steve Jobs… 
     Ack, another tangent… only that one did manage to make me throw up in my mouth a bit….

     Now, seriously, back on subject.  Testosterone and feminine products just don’t mix.  The results can be… well… something like this video…

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6s5w6wjY1kU)

     Now, I certainly hope you’ve all learned your lesson.

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That’s one thing I always hated about Santa Carla… all the goddamn vampires!

     Apparently, Lawndale, California will have no such problem, thanks to patriots like Councilman Jim Ramsey.

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bNvt-z0QiM)

     When you consider Lawndale’s geographic location, it’s pretty sound logic, methinks.  There are plenty of things that suck around there.

Hat tip Sara @ Daily Shite

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