Nine Inch Nails: We’re in This Together

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1Zulx4mjHk)

     I’ll leave the write-up for later.

     Took a little reak, and then picked it up again — no pun intended.  That guitar kills my fingers. 

     They bleed … it hurts to type.

     Been working with a new company a little lately, introducing some of my customers and doing a bit of cross-promotion.  I’ve also been working on some experimental car stuff a bit and doing a bit of research. 

     But all in all, not one single bit of it makes me miss my Wildcat any less.

     Ok, it seems Pink Foyd: The Wall is becoming a recurring theme.

     I’ve been sitting here most of the night, rebuilding a couple of laptops, listening to the Wall Sountrack (which is a little different than the actual album).  A bit ago, I decided to pick up the guitar and play along with it.

     My fingers are bleeding…

     I gotta either quit playing, or play more.

     But I miss my Wildcat … so I play.

     Now, even YouTube hates me … Just click the links under the videos.

Dido: Thank You

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1CjbcqhGyU)

Colby Caillat: Bubbly

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PWfB4lurT4)

     Miss you, baby.

     So I’m sitting around reading some of the poetic works of Edgar Allen Poe, and what should pop up?  Just an excerpt from the 1849 poem, “For Annie“:

  She tenderly kissed me,
    She fondly caressed,
  And then I fell gently
    To sleep on her breast–
  Deeply to sleep
    From the heaven of her breast.
  When the light was extinguished,
    She covered me warm,
  And she prayed to the angels
    To keep me from harm–
  To the queen of the angels
    To shield me from harm.
  And I lie so composedly,
    Now in my bed
  (Knowing her love)
    That you fancy me dead–
  And I rest so contentedly,
    Now in my bed,
  (With her love at my breast)
    That you fancy me dead–
  That you shudder to look at me.
    Thinking me dead.
  But my heart it is brighter
    Than all of the many
  Stars in the sky,
    For it sparkles with Annie–
  It glows with the light
    Of the love of my Annie–
  With the thought of the light
    Of the eyes of my Annie.

     Longing … waiting … Clearly, it can drive you mad.

     I miss my Wildcat.

Keith Anderson: I Still Miss You

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlEsRtKR-mk)

Bill Withers: Ain’t No Sunshine

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIdIqbv7SPo)

Bill Withers: Lovely Day

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DnUxLISFcA)

     Miss you, baby.

Pink Floyd: The Trial

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DL8RKkC_GME)

     Been there, done that, and … ain’t got shit to show for it. 

     But I love my Wildcat.

     Unconditionally.

Pink Floyd: Ony of My Turns

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUil0GON7-c)

      And no, I’m not saying…  This bit just struck a nerve… So did a lot in “The Wall.”

Daughtry: It’s Not Over

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HckRNk2Y0tI)

Colby Caillat: Realize

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=haRXQrjP4jI)

     Love you, baby.

     Attention Defecit and Hyperactive Disorder is being diagnosed a lot more these days.  I would say “It’s about damn time!” but man, I’ve been dealing with it for a long time without taking Ritalin and a lot of other drugs that kept it in check.  I needed that impulsive, crazy streak in me to be … well … Me.

     Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, on the other hand, has become the “new” diagnosis for a lot of things.  I had a lot of bad stuff happen as a child — and adult, even every more recently — and, ya know, I’m actually starting to realize, “Yeah, too much of that stuff does stick with ya.”  Crap, I never realized how much, actually. 

     I’ve always said, “You can’t be a slave to your past.”

     I’ve always judged a lot of people, too.  “Get over your shit, and get on with your life.”

     Funny how things have a way of coming back to bite you in the ass, isn’t it?

     The unknown …

     You can either take a chance or never make a decision.

     I figure it this way.  Back in the Garden of Eden, there was a forbidden fruit.  Eve chose to eat it.  Adam chose to eat it.  They got punished for it.  And God kinda said, “Hey, now you guys know right from wrong.  You make your own circumstances.  Deal with it.”
     That’s about where the religious part of it ends, tho.  I mean, hey, I pray.  I pray to be able to deal with what’s going on.  I very rarely pray for much else.

     I’m dealing with my as best I can.  I got a new notebook today, because, well, mine were both trashed.  I had a dead screen on one, and the other won’t work when it’s plugged in.

     What I’m saying is, I’m getting there.

     Might be slowly, but when I think it’s only been a few weeks, too, hey …

     The Unknown …

     I miss my Wildcat.  I need her encouragement.  I never needed that from anyone before — I just did what I did, and didn’t give a damn about anything else.

     And maybe, just maybe, she’ll end up feeling that way … and we can grow a garden.

      I love you, baby.