Remember this one?

The patient says, “Doctor, it hurts when I do this.”

The doctor says, “Then don’t do that.”

     An old joke that we’ve all heard a billion times, and proof that Henny Youngman will never die.

     But seriously …

     When I try and deal with certain problems, it does nothing but create a Hell-storm.

     Yesterday, in order to try and move forward with my life, and hopefully help her to do the same, I dug around a little too much and actually managed to locate a woman who is, through some fault of her own and some fault of mine, making our lives a living Hell.  As usual, she just ripped me a new one, reminded me of every single thing I ever did wrong, and got me all worked up and depressed again.
     I honestly can’t handle it, can’t handle dealing with her at all, and simply haven’t since earlier last year.  That was probably the wrong thing to do on my part.
     For me, the pain caused by it all is one thing: I couldn’t keep the promises I made to her.  It was impossible, because by the end, I was so depressed, I just wanted to stop living.
     It’s been two years, trying to get the situation resolved and keep us out of each others’ hair forever.  Yet, every single attempt to do so has led to failure.  Every time I deal with her, it puts me right back there again, where I feel completely and totally hopeless.

     So Henny Youngman’s immortal joke comes to mind again…

The patient says, “Doctor, it hurts when I do this.”

The doctor says, “Then don’t do that.”

     But in the meantime, neither of us can move on until it gets resolved.

     I can’t deal with it any more.  She can’t deal with it any more.

     And if the two of us are honest, and truly think about everything we’ve lost, we should know that we don’t owe each other anything except:

     …to have the chance to go forward and move on.

     I swear, that’s all I wanna do, and I’ll wish her well, leave it and be done with it, because the hate and accusations and bullshit and ridiculous requests have been are too much to deal with.  Neither of us are happy, and we deserve little happiness.

     Maybe, after thinking about it, she’ll come around.

     I hope she does.