“Well, I can feel the heat
from across the room
Ain’t it wild what a little flame
can make you wanna do…”
— Rascal Flatts, “I Melt“

     Ok, so I’ve been remiss in doing the Melee for a while… Here goes:

1. The Misanthtropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.

     Some days, no matter what you do, no matter what you say, you just cannot win. Everybody has those kinds of days, and they suck. Fortunately, there’s tomorrow.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.

     A lot of businesses these days wanna run themselves by doing absolutely nothing but blowing smoke up peoples’ asses. It starts from the top. They blow smoke up a manager’s ass about what they’re attempting to accomplish. The manager blows smoke up the employee’s ass that they’re doing an outstanding job when they have plenty of evidence that that’s not the case. The employees then blow smoke up the customer’s asses: “we attempted to ____ but…” (but didn’t), “we feel that we can offer you ____” (but can’t), “We’re sorry you’re unhappy, is there anything we can do for you?” (but won’t).
     Even worse is the whole “potential employee” category, where Management and Upper Management will blow smoke up the ass of every piece of riff-raff that comes through the door. “Oh, your resume is outstanding!” “Yes, you’re a perfect fit in our organization!” “We’ll get the offer letter out to you by the end of the week!” But it’s all smoke and mirrors.
      Business cannot work this way. This is a bullshit, fuzzy-feeling mentality that does nothing but dash hopes and create a customer base who will quickly become impatient at spending their hard-earned money on pipe dreams while getting absolutely nothing in return.

     The exact opposite of this is the service industry business which focuses purely on “new business” instead of taking some care of their existing clientele. I’ve said it a billion times: “What good is new business if you can’t keep it?” Most “first deals” will not earn a dime. Repetition is where that kind of business earns capital. Customer Service is mandatory to stay in the black.

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.

     I miss my Wildcat.

     Painfully so.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.

     Exactly 52 weeks ago today, Fracas started doing this Monday Melee thing.  Kudos on a year of Monday Melee!

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.

     Some days, I can write.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.

     I found out what “home” is.  I wish I could be there all the time…

Now it’s your turn.

You can take part in The Monday Melee, even make it a regular feature at your site by visiting The Monday Melee page and following the steps. Kick-start your brain on Mondays and meet other bloggers.

     One nasty little drive-up motel that I stayed at years ago (in Paducah, Kentucky) was the most uninhabitable place I’ve ever seen — so bad, in fact, that the homeless would’ve shunned it.  Combined with one I’d stayed in there before (which seemed to be a haven for women eager to take advantage of Military men), and a few others around the state, I was pretty well put off lodging in Kentucky at all.

      Fortunately, over the past while, I’ve realized that it isn’t the norm.  Like most, last night’s cheap hotel was perfectly normal.

     I’ve stayed in a helluva lot of hotels and motels throughout my life, and pretty much found that once you get away from the old-school, drive-up motels ala Norman Bates, they’re all pretty much the same.  The rooms are laid out similarly, they all have Cable TV, a coffee maker, an ironing board, a blow dryer, a free pen, etc.  The biggest difference is usuall the quality of the linens. 

     However … The more “budget” the hotel, the more you increase the likelihood of getting a splinter in your ass from the John Wayne toilet paper.

     You know, the kind that’s rough, and tough, and won’t take shit off nobody…

     As I said before, I don’t teach because the weight of my sarcasm may crush some heads.

     Fortunately, Donnie has continued to teach his “You Suck at Photoshop” course.  Here are all four in all their glory.

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_X5uR7VC4M)

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXeZ0s8DXZ0)

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWn0lxRNqos)

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNfBF2xvhaE)

     Not only did I laugh my ass off, I actually learned a couple of cool tricks.

     Although, I definitely know how to get rid of a cat better… Umm… Yeah, take that however you want, although, I hear that since I’m a blogger, I’m required to own at least one cat.  (I think not, unless the Wildcat counts… err, not that I own her… but I do at least have the privilege of her company)

      Be sure and check out MyDamnChannel for some other bizarre videos.

     One of the things I’ve noticed when reconnecting with so many people from my distant past is that, in many cases, there’s a damn good reason they were in the past to begin with.

     The mid- to late-80’s in Knoxville’s historic Old City were rife with what can only be termed as “Neo-Artsy-Gothic” kids hanging out and causing themselves no end of grief.  Actually, that movement didn’t really stop until around ‘94, and by that time a huge percentage of them — like 1 in 3 — had either killed themselves or ended up in jail.  Sometimes their crimes were violent, but they usually revolved around someone getting busted for selling drugs.  When that happened, all the little Wannabe Punks would all act like The Establishment was Keeping Them Down, but then turn right around and squeal like little pigs to the very Machine that they’d raged against before.
     Put simply … they were a bunch of Asshats.

     I used to try and take care of some of them, because I was a little more responsible.  I helped them find places to live, helped them get jobs, tried to keep them out of trouble with cops, and try to cope with whatever the Hell it was that was tormenting them so.
     Eventually, with the biggest majority of them, I realized that was a lost cause.  They wanted their lives to be tragic, and made every effort to bring on the tragedy.  The more grandiose and overly dramatic, the better!

     It’s weird to see a lot of them, now fifteen to twenty years later, and they’re exactly the same.  They somehow have jobs, more money, and they’re still every bit as tragic. 

     I met two of them today at a job interview.  Yep … a couple of wannabe punks who emulated Morrissey and Peter Murphy back then, and they haven’t changed much.  Their attitudes still suck, their social skills haven’t improved, and they’re still wankers.  Forty-somethings, never married, still popping pills, cutting on themselves, getting tattoos, getting arrested every other month because they never learned to shut the Hell up and try being nice to people for a change.

     As I walked out after the interview — which they thought was impressive, and I fit the job perfectly — I heard them talking to one another as I scheduled another interview with the receptionist.
     “Man, he was so much cooler when he had long hair!” said Peter Murphy.
     “Yeah, he’s like all responsible and shit, and apparently has been for a long time.  F$#* him!” replied Morrissey.

     Big difference in me now and then.  I’m nice to people, and a lot of good comes of it.  I tried to be nice to people back then, too, but in all honestly, people didn’t take to it well for various reasons.  I didn’t realize there were many nice people in Knoxville until I cut off the hair…

     And … Back then, I was a lot higher strung that I am now.  I kicked those guys’ sorry asses — on multiple occasions — for looking at me sideways.

     And, somehow, those losers thought that was cool… *shakes head*

     I could have turned and said, “Yeah, ya know what the difference is between you guys then and now?  You used to try and emulate semi-cool, somewhat artistic people.  Now you’re just a couple of washed-up, middle-aged Asshats.”
     Instead, I walked out laughing…  Especially when it hit me that since they’re in their forties and still acting like that, they more likely resemble a couple of Chris Crockers.

     But I have to wonder how on earth Asshats like that could possibly be of any value to their company… They certainly didn’t know anything about what they were interviewing me for…

     A friend of mine e-mailed me this link earlier…

     Think you’re pretty good at smackin’ a penguin?

     Prove it!

     As a man who’s had years of practice smacking the penguin, I found a personal best score of 294 after 10 attempts.  Apparently, you get better the more you play…

     (Ok, seriously, it’s perfectly safe for work … Check it out and post your score!)

     And while we’re at it … if you find something blogworthy that you think we should post about, give us a yell.

Tip: Mushy at .. well .. his blogs.

     I don’t teach, not because I have these kinds of problems…

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_X5uR7VC4M)

     …but because the weight of my sarcasm may crush some heads.

Life is short…

So what am I supposed to do about it?

I think the answer can simply be summed up as: live happy, live right, and it will be easy to live your conscience.  Don’t let yourself get stressed out, it’s not worth the effort or the time it takes to do it. 

Praise your sons and daughters, friends and family, co-workers and bosses, when they do something well. If they go against the grain and they do poorly,  don’t be afraid to point out where they made a mistake. In the same token, don’t chastise them while you do it.  They are people too…

I know this is a little hippy for me but life is too short to stay mad and unhappy.  Joke them if they can’t take a…

I make my rounds down  at Blogger’s Landing on a daily basis. 

Here you’ll find all kinds of people.  You find folks who rant and rave, folks who have public service announcements, folks reflecting on life… you name it you’ll find it.  

I recently saw something that has been bugging the piss out of me.  I’m not going to make a daily stop at a particular page anymore because it is a major buzz kill to my joy and happiness factor.  And God knows, I don’t need anybody kicking me out of joy and happiness.  I won’t name any names, that wouldn’t be right.

This is just a public service announcement so that folks will realize that a blog that is used as a platform for a non-stop personal vendetta is extremely boring.

I’m not the victim of the below bunch of bullshit.  I’m not even sure I know who the victim of this blogger is, but I know for a long, long time this has been going on and frankly I’m bored as a monkey with no fucking trees to swing from with it all.  I don’t think I’ll be passing by her blog for tea and crumpets again because her style of writing makes me sad.

It’s a mean nasty person who is constantly stirring up crap with an people by constantly picking old wounds to keep them open.

I totally understand the occassional happening with an ex and it being something interesting or even just something a sister needs to vent about. Or a past ghost comes up and bites a brother in the ass…. makes for interesting reading and is perfectly acceptable. 

But, when someone makes it part of their daily routine to check up on and often write crap about someone, it’s sad.  These kind of people need to get a life.  A real life, not fantasy world. 

Whether whatever happened was right or wrong on either side, enough is enough.  The slamming of another person and constant degradation is boring to say the least.  I don’t think the person I’m referring to bothers to check my shit out, but if they do, I hope they are not infatuated enough with themselves not to realize this is a wake up call.  Knock it off. 

Get a fucking life, or not.  I don’t care either way. I’m a big girl and I can just stay away from your blogs.

     I’m not trying to be arrogant, but jeez Louise… I can’t stand GameStop!  As a matter of fact, I’ve found that I have a deep-seated resentment for the entire establishment.

     This afternoon’s visit even more strongly reinforced that resentment.

     I went into several different ones — in several different states — before Christmas looking for a particular gift which was “soon to be released” instead of “in stock now!” as their advertisements said, and that kinda ticked me off, anyway.
     But that’s not what this rant is about.  In fact, it’s far more pointed — and perhaps more personal — than that.

     Now, I wouldn’t go so far as to say that all GameStop employees are idiots, because that’s not true.  There are Accountants, Franchise Owners and Managers (more on them later) who might be associated with any given location and who may be, by all accounts, “normal.”  I can’t say the same of the Ad people, because Ad people are pretty much abnormal anywhere they’re employed — and they’re not the reason I dislike GameStop.  Even with the “in stock now!” garbage…

     No, the thing I hate about GameStop?  It’s the regular employees, of which there are at least eight at any given location.

     At first, you think they’re just black-shirted customers, running around the store acting like idiots, hiding behind the displays yelling, “Bee-owp!  Bee-owp!” as they pretend to shoot at each other with invisible implements of destruction.  
     “Can I help you find anything?” they’ll eventually ask.
     “No,” you reply.  “This is a pretty small store.”
     And immediately, six of them begin dodging their invisible lasers, screaming, “Bee-owp!  Bee-owp!” again.

     At some point, the seventh employee will run out from the back, ripping the latest firearm-style controller (for the latest mega-cool platform!) from out of its protective box, screaming, “Bee-owp!  Bee-owp!” at his invisibly armed compatriats. 

     Upon closer inspection, you’ll notice their tell-tale GameStop employee ID’s, which, instead of being pinned to their shirt, hang from around their necks like they’re roadies guarding the back-stage of a Metallica concert.  Only, they listen to Europop Techno…
     In fact, the only thing they have in common with the “cool” guys they’re trying to emulate is the fact that they’re like … forty.
     The ”younger,” eighth employee (a mere thirty-years-old) feverishly slaves away behind the cash register, his penance for being “so much younger” and “less cool” than his elder brethren.

     The Manager is always in the back, pulling his hair out.  Unfortunately, he doesn’t have the balls to control his motley crew — yeah, not the band — of prepubescent middle-agers and attempt to set things right.  Instead, he comes to help customers at the cash register because he just can’t have his employees arguing with customers about those damn ads…
     He leaves the store at 10PM, gets home at 10:15PM, and is drunk by 10:30PM.  His wife screams at him incessantly, and he just can’t handle it any more.
     You just know that at any moment, some proverbial needle will hit the floor, breaking the silence like cannon fire, and our mild-mannered Manager will suddenly become Michael Douglas in “Falling Down.”  (Perks of the job — he scarfed that movie from out of the Used DVD bin last Thursday, and watched it while getting wasted on Peach Schnapps and Mountain Dew.)

     Maybe there are normal GameStop stores in the world.  Maybe all of their counter staff aren’t overgrown, pimply-faced, forty-year-old virgins who are sadly content to live in their grandmother’s basements pretending to be part of Vader’s 501st Stormtrooper Legion, Klingon Commander Haktarr, or Yuric the Hill Giant Slayer.

     I just haven’t met them yet, because I am way too cool for GameStop.

     And don’t even get me started on Starbucks…

     So, Thursday night at around 9PM, I dropped three movies into the outgoing mail slot where I live.  Friday afternoon, after getting back home from a hard day out, I dropped another into the outgoing mail.
      A couple of hours later, I got notifications from Netflix that four movies had been received.  I was a little confused, because that’s way quicker than usual to get all the way to Duluth, GA…
     “Ok, they must’ve setup a pre-emptive return deal, and scanned the movies at the post office, like Blockbuster tried to do,” I thought. 

     Imagine my surprise when I opened the mail box today and found four movies!

     After ripping the outer label off, I was even more surprised to find that Knoxville now has its own distribution center!

     That’s a really unexpected move, and a nice “Happy New Year” gift.  So, if you’re in the Knoxville area and didn’t sign up because of the time it took to send movies back and forth, that’s a non-issue now.

Netflix - Only $4.99 a month! No Late Fees. Try it for Free!