And … *cough* … Yep … Exactly …

And before any of them get all bent at me, I just want to point out that no one needs to take my word for it… they can call any kind of counselor/therapist they want and ask if I made any sense. That whole “need you” thing is over-rated. It should be “don’t NEED you, but WANT to be with you.” That’s way healthier. It’s also healthier if both parties do what I said… do shit for each other as if it was a multitude of little gifts to each other instead of “taking care of” the other person. That’s icky.

Anyway Mark… I didn’t think you were hostile to women at all. I totally understood what you were saying.

I’m drinking to your having that relationship that I’m convinced is out there for you!

Well, except one: I hold no illusions that I understand women at all. The fact that I could write something like that back to her, and hear, “Oh, you understand women so well!” from friends who I’ve known for years is exactly what was beyond me.

And for anyone else who reads it … I was being hostile not at women in general, but at three-in-a-row —- very specific, and quite possibly unique, individuals who share a very, very nasty personality trait.

Not all women. Never. If I was like that, I wouldn’t keep trying.

Besides … Number Three actually came back later, went far beyond apology, and was the reason I haven’t been around all weekend … And if I can’t accept an apology, then what kind of ass am I?

I dunno Mark. If I was on the list of the women you’d asked about that, I’d probably be the woman that doesn’t say the same stuff as other women. So I guess I’m not really a woman.

Anyway, so it seems to me that you understand “women” in the sense of the “this is how most women think and act. That’s cool except that you point out how you keep getting screwed over by the “typical” woman.

I think my suggestion would be to look for a woman who totally doesn’t fit what all the “typical” women fit. You might not “understand” her like you do the typical woman, but I bet you get along famously and end up with a world-class relationship.

As for your friend in the mail… my advice to her is to get a grip on reality. So the guy is all polite and nice while they’re dating and then later the beer/farting/morning breath guy comes out. That’s the way it is. We women are like that too. If anyone thinks I’m getting up an hour before Mr. Fracas to get all dolled up so he doesn’t see ME when I’m at my worst, then they’re delusional. Reality is that people do relax and let their guard down when they’ve been with someone a while. That’s a good thing, believe it or not. It’s like when one of the kids brings home a date. At the beginning, we make sure not to scare them off by wearing our shorts and holey shirts; we serve the supper in the serving dishes, etc. My dd’s beau is a part of the family now. So I served something out of the pot and said, “Now you’re really part of the family.”

Women need to get their fraccing heads out of their asses and stop thinking that a prince charming is really a prince charming all the time. After all, the woman herself probably farts, has morning breath and sometimes acts like an ass too. I’m all for being yourself up front, but if everyone would just realize that people being comfortable enough and trusting the other person enough to show all their warts doesn’t always mean the person has “changed”. “Changed” is the person who pretends they aren’t jealous, and then later treats you like you’re in prison; “changed” is the person who pretends they enjoy the same leisure activities as you (how many women do that with sports) and then when they think they “have” you, they suddenly hate all that; “changed” is not the person that trust in your affections enough to let you see them without makeup, trusts you won’t hold their morning breath against them or trusts your love enough to whine and act like a baby when sick.

Immaturity, is what it’s called when a person thinks that Prince or Princess Charming is “changing” because they allow you to see their humanity.

As for the whole “needing” the other person. I really think no one should “need” the other person. When each person is (and knows they are) fully capable of taking care of themselves, then what you do for the other person becomes a million acts of kindness and self sacrifice towards the other person… little gifts of yourself. I don’t want things done for me because I need someone to do them for me, I want them done for me because they want to do something for me. If I imagine the other person feels the same, and if I give them credit for being able to take care of themselves, then everything I do for them will also feel like a gift. Gifts make us feel good, especially when they’re gifts of self.

What you described in your post Mark, seems to me more like parent/child relationships than woman/man. I suppose therein lies the problem. Women need to learn to look to their men as their men, not their daddy and men need to look to their women as their women, not their daughters.

I know… all the women out there are going to blast me now… happens to me all the time and I usually don’t give a shit. It’s usually because they’d rather call me something rude than look at their own behaviour.

The rest will read that and agree. Find one of those women Mark… you’ll be happier.

But I’m not so good with the dancing…

But i can dance.

i guess i picked the wrong day to have a vagina.

Only no really cute panties showed up… just boring white pages with boring black words telling me things that meant I wasn’t going to be able to have my say right then.

But aside from that, where is your planet? I was damn sure we were the only people out there. Gosh. The things you learn when you’re just reading a friend’s blog!