The Internets Comes to the Rural South
April 10th, 2007 at 4:40 pm by Monty HazeltrigTags: christianity, family, internet, myspace, religion, suicide
In this discussion of family, I will tell about a part of mine. Not to tell about my family as much as to tell a story of what this new technology is doing to parts of America.
My sister got a call from my aunt at the law office she works for. My aunt and uncle are in a very rural farm area of Tennessee and he is the pastor of a small Baptist church. If I told you the sort of stuff that goes on in his church you’d think I was making it up. Not snake handling crazy, but, yeah, you’d be freaked out if you went there. This is the uncle who, during a wedding he was officiating, stopped to make an altar call in case anyone wanted to accept Jesus as their Savior first. So, anyway, my aunt calls my sister in a terrible panic. My uncle was in mortal fear that he was going to lose his church. So much so, that he had written a suicide note. She wanted a lawyer to do something.
What that something is, we are still not sure.
The crisis is something like this. One of the guys who plays in the church band, has a rock and roll band on the side. Nothing like Super Satanic Metal Death stuff, just a decent rock band. And they have a MySpace page. And people are posting comments on this page and using foul language, and saying crude things like “You guys &^%#& rock!” This is happening out there on the Internets.
So, my uncle is in desperation and some sort of legal action must be taken and no one knows what to do and he may just have to kill himself about it. It’s just that desperate a situation.
Really.
April 10th, 2007 at 5:49pm
j00 m1sp3llz teh internets. r, izit intertubes?
April 11th, 2007 at 9:11am
Woo hoo! Yet another case of Internet hysteria… You would think that something on that level would be just fine. Can you not “praise the Mr. Jesus” through the rock and roll as well? I don’t believe that particular gentlemen is not responsible for his fans however these crass comments can be censored through the MyCrack…
April 11th, 2007 at 10:38am
In the world where TV comes through a big dish in the yard and water from a well, and you have to dust the car off because of the gravel road you live on and wild game is on the menu regularly, the Internet is just crazy scary land. Heck, computers are archane boxes you see on TV and in movies and maybe at work. Dial-up connekshuns. And if you do get to the Internets and you’re a total noob, your computer gets taken over by pr0n sites and you must turn it off to be free. And you don’t dare ask for help with pr0n all over the thing, so you get rid of the infected thing. It is not a place for the timid. And somewhere out there, someone n ur church is online, doing things. Scary things.
As Sam has said to me many times, “Some people should just not have computers.” And every day hundreds of those people get online. That’s why there is spam and viruses. And that’s why Nigerians keep emailing me to help them…
April 11th, 2007 at 11:07am
Being that said Preacher is a preacher, it’s not a far stretch to think, given all the media attention about sexual predators going after young girls on there, that he is aware that MySpace is the proverbial “den of iniquity.”
Now, I’ve been interested in this, perhpaps in a morbid sort of way (I agree, some people shouldn’t own computers). It strikes me as bloody hilarious, and I apologize, Monty, for having a laugh at the expense of your family. But when I asked how he knew, you said, “someone told him … he doesn’t even know what’s on there …”
So I my question would be … with MySpace being the “den of iniquity” that it is … wouldn’t this hearsay be equivalent to a church member coming up to him and saying, “I saw your church band member at the strip club the other night!”?
Certainly, he should be questioning a lot of things rather than going bonkers over it. But at the same time, I’m seeing a lot of “church people” losing their ever-loving minds lately — all at once.
It makes me think… Maybe the Kool-Aid’s going around again…
April 11th, 2007 at 11:29am
Well, you are way way off. You just don’t understand the perspective here. You and your citified ways! First, imagine you ahave never seen the Internet, nor has anyone in your family or anyone in your church or anyone you know well. Imagine no one you know has a computer at home. Imagine you only know bits and pieces about the Net and what’s on it, mostly from third hand experiences. People who have looked over the shoulder of people who dialed up the AOLternet one time. You know its out there, but you have no idea waht it is really. MySpace isn’t even a notion to you. R-U-R-A-L dood. Take the paved road till it ends, and take the gravel road till it turns to dirt and then go a few miles. Been there 3 generations when great granddad arrived off the boat. MySpace? Hell, the whole computer world is crazy perilous! They know what strip clubs are. Every year they drive through Knoxville to get to Pigeon Forge and they pass one. This is not the same thing.
April 11th, 2007 at 1:19pm
Brother Monty,
First, the only contact Christians should have on those interthingies is to go there to tell people about the eternal hell-fire torture our God of Love is going to condemn them too if they don’t repent into the firm, loving, fireproof arms of Jesus.
Second, I used to pastor that church. I’m sure of it. And what’s wrong with snake handling? If it’s in the KJV it’s right by me!
April 11th, 2007 at 2:02pm
Uh, which KJV? Your simple statement defines your falacy. Any true believer knows it is only the KJV AV 1611 that is correct. Get thee behind me!
April 11th, 2007 at 9:04pm
Monty, of course the 1611 version. I took for granted you would understand that, but of course I mis-spoke. You are a true brother indeed.
April 11th, 2007 at 10:27pm
I guess it’s now time that I should share with both of you, The Guide to True Christians with Correct Opinions.